speech and the fear

baldbear

I'm getting married very soon, like in 72 hours Time and i'm nervous which is normal I know.

I showed my best man my speech, its short and thanks all the important people. And asked him how his was going and basically he hasn't anything. I'm shy and have the fear about speaking in public but I feel terrible for him now.

What he did say is cringe, basically it sounds like my c.v, I hope I don't sound like an ass, but I don't want him embarressed or bothered worrying.

How short is o.k?And could i say don't say x,or y? I cant believe i'm actually thinking about this so close to the wedding?

Any advice is very welcome ? (Typing all that out feels like therapy)

stinkle

IMO there's no such thing as too short. HOnestly, no one ever went to a wedding and said "if only the speeches were a bit longer". You'll have thanked all the important people as youve said and maybe a good excuse to talk to him again is to make sure he isnt listing off the same stuff.

If there's anything you're not ok with him saying, do let him know. Hopefully he wouldn't embarrass you in the first place, but if he had anything questionable then it's fine to say maybe take it out (blame the future Mother in law!). You said it sounds like your CV - he could easily cut that a bit if he's actually talking about your work or your life story!

It's grand to be nervous. Our best man is a great speaker and he had a blip the week of the wedding and OH went over to him to go through it. Don't feel like you have to leave him alone to do it.

Things like saying he's know you for a long time/grew up together/etc and what a great guy you are and a great couple you'll make. Maybe somehting about you scrubbing up well on the day. Maybe a vague mention of the stag party. He could always have a bit of laugh with tables who are betting on speeches by mentioning that and talking v slow/fast for a tiny bit. Get everyone to raise a glass to you both and that's it. If there;s a bit of structure then that can help.

People know that speeches are scary, and even if you sound nervous it can endear you to people. One thing is defo dont try to be a comedian as that could fall flat - for example, even if all your mates know the context of some in-jokes, chances are the extended family wont. That sort of thing.

Everyone is there to support you and will hopefully have a few drinks and a good feed in them so will be in great form. Best of luck and congratulations.

stinkle

PS also it's totally fine to read the speech - takes away the stress of learning it off!

You can also add in some cues like BREATHE or TAKE A SIP OF WATER, or prompts to make a bit of eye contact with audience.

baldbear

Thanks a lot. I'll have a chat with him today anyway and tell him and myself it'll be grand!!

stinkle

baldbear wrote: »

Thanks a lot. I'll have a chat with him today anyway and tell him and myself it'll be grand!!

It will be grand, try to enjoy it, and have a brilliant day!

An Bhanríon

A newly-wed here who gave a speech at her wedding...

My advice:
Write the whole thing out - keep it short and simple. There are loads of examples of speeches online.
Practice a few times - out loud
Print out two copies of speech
On the day bring one copy with you and give your best man the other copy - just in case one gets lost!
When you give the speech you don't have to read it out word for word. If you're relaxed you can ad lib, but if you start getting nervous just read the whole thing out.

Remember, everyone is on your side. This is the most important thing. I thought I would have to cut my speech short and leave out the funny stories because when I practiced beforehand they came out really weird. But on the day, when I started the speech, everybody laughed at my first little funny reference, then they laughed and clapped at the next, so I said feck it I'll just keep going. And it was brillo! (Even though I say it myself...)

So go for it, yourself and your best man. A bit of preparation and practice and you will both be brilliant!