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Mum died .......

  • 08-12-2014 9:56am
    #1
    greengirl31
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 416 ✭✭


    My Mum passed away after an illness a few weeks ago.

    She had been diagnosed a couple of years ago and she and my family knew that this was coming. Even in the last few weeks we noticed a change so to some degree I’ve been preparing myself for some time for this. We had a fairly good relationship most of the time but it did have its complications. I’ve had counselling over the years for a couple of issues and the last time I went, a lot of what came up related to my mum. It was intentional though because I wanted to get whatever issues I had with her resolved before she died and I did – I made peace with all the more difficult feelings I had about my Mum. When she died, there was nothing I felt I had to say to her and I have no regrets.

    Now that she’s gone though, I’m a bit in limbo I think. I feel like I’m carrying on like nothing happened but it did – My mum has died which I know is a huge milestone in many people’s lives. I see other members of my family – Mum’s brothers and sisters – and they’re really struggling. I’m not inviting misery on myself but I think I should feel more than I am.

    Am I looking for problems where they aren’t any or is this a normal part of the grieving process ??



    Thanks in advance


Comments

  • #2
    witchgirl26
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,253 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    Hi greengirl - first off I'm so sorry for your loss. Issues or none, she was your mum so it's a big wrench. I'm glad you were able to make peace with those issues though.

    In regards feeling like you're carrying on as normal, do not feel bad. People grieve at different times and in different ways. I lost my dad 6 and a half years ago now so have been there. At the time, I really did go "back to normal" very quickly as I was doing exams. It was a way of coping. My grief came through in bits and pieces & really only came round fully about a year and a half ago. My siblings, on the other hand, had more of a grieving process near the start.

    Don't compare your grief to others or theirs to yours. Everyone does it in their own way & at their own pace. There is no real "normal" grieving process. It's very individual.


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