Fake selfies/Online dating. Need help ASAP

voidwalkerZ

I've been friends with this girl for almost half the year. We rarely send selfies, but i've sent one or two,and they were both fake. Problem is,i want to send her a real picture of me, because back then,i had personal and self-cofidence issues. How do i approach and explain this to her? I really don't want to lose her, but at the same time, i want to show her who i truly am. Please, i need some help. How do i go about unfixing this mess?

Cheers

PirateShampoo

To be honest I don't think you can, I don't want to sound harsh but uve lied from the start, in her mind she has been talking to someone else and building a relationship with them. Unfortunately when the truth comes out I think it may be the end of the road for it, or at least it would be for me if I was in her position.

I think in the future you just need to be more confident in your self, ive done the whole online thing, it's a meat market, some people will like you, others won't. Just be honest to yourself and you'll be better for it.

voidwalkerZ

PirateShampoo wrote: »

To be honest I don't think you can, I don't want to sound harsh but uve lied from the start, in her mind she has been talking to someone else and building a relationship with them. Unfortunately when the truth comes out I think it may be the end of the road for it, or at least it would be for me if I was in her position.

I think in the future you just need to be more confident in your self, ive done the whole online thing, it's a meat market, some people will like you, others won't. Just be honest to yourself and you'll be better for it.

Thanks man. But should i go for it? I feel like im confident enough to explain but then again, the internet is a meat market.

PirateShampoo

Yeah of course go for it, I don't know you're relationship and I might be completely wrong, but there is only one way to find out. Plus there is only one way the relationship can move forward and that is through honesty.

I hope it works out for you.

voidwalkerZ

PirateShampoo wrote: »

Yeah of course go for it, I don't know you're relationship and I might be completely wrong, but there is only one way to find out. Plus there is only one way the relationship can move forward and that is through honesty.

I hope it works out for you.

Cheers man. This could be the beggining of a true relationship or the end of a long relationship.

PirateShampoo

Exactly, live and learn as they say.

Saralee4

You need to be totally honest with her now though for your reasons for sending the fakes.

Dial Hard

voidwalkerZ wrote: »

Cheers man. This could be the beggining of a true relationship or the end of a long relationship.

You're not in a relationship - you've never met and she thinks she's speaking to someone who doesn't exist.

Tell her the truth, but be prepared for her to tell you to sling your hook.

knucklehead6

Dial Hard wrote: »

You're not in a relationship - you've never met and she thinks she's speaking to someone who doesn't exist.

Tell her the truth, but be prepared for her to tell you to sling your hook.

I wouldn't say be prepared, I'd say be expecting her to tell you to go away.

That's if she even responds. I know if a woman was doing that to me i wouldn't respond. And if i did it would be with a few choice words. Followed by a swift blocking and deletion.

knucklehead6

Actually, I take it all back. Good luck in the Junior Cert next year.

fergie24

knucklehead6 wrote: »

I wouldn't say be prepared, I'd say be expecting her to tell you to go away.

That's if she even responds. I know if a woman was doing that to me i wouldn't respond. And if i did it would be with a few choice words. Followed by a swift blocking and deletion.

x2

The hold thing sounds too creepy.

kylith

Fake as in from a few years ago when you were thinner/fitter/had hair, or fake as in not of you at all.

If they're old pictures of you I'd say that you have more chance of her forgiving you because though you may have lied about when they were taken they are still of you. If you used someone else's pictures then I'd say you have zero chance of ever hearing from her again.

cookiexx

If youve basically been pretending to be someone else to her, the whole thing you've built with her is not real, it's a farce, and regardless of whether she actually likes the real YOU, that lie in and of itself is going to be tough to get over.

Thats called 'catfishing' by the way and is surprisingly common online. One reason why I avoid the online thing.

knucklehead6

cookiexx wrote: »

If youve basically been pretending to be someone else to her, the whole thing you've built with her is not real, it's a farce, and regardless of whether she actually likes the real YOU, that lie in and of itself is going to be tough to get over.

Thats called 'catfishing' by the way and is surprisingly common online. One reason why I avoid the online thing.

Read the OP's other posts. He's talking about junior cert next year.

retro:electro

Something about this just doesn't feel right. Hmmm. Just cut contact with this person and leave them be.

Stavro Mueller

Knucklehead's right about the OP by the way. He's only doing his Junior Cert this year.

OP - you can't control how this girl will react to the news that you've deceived her. I know if someone did that to me, I'd be asking what other lies I'd swallowed and I'd probably never trust them again. In the long run you're better off being truthful because most lies tend to come back to bite you at some stage.
Secondly, you can't know what this girl's like until you meet her in person. People who've done a lot of online dating will tell you that it's better to meet the person you like early on. Over time you build up a mental picture of them in your mind and when you meet them in person you'll find they don't match up to this. For all you know, you and her could have zero chemistry and might be more compatible as pen pals.

retro:electro

Stavro Mueller wrote: »

Knucklehead's right about the OP by the way. He's only doing his Junior Cert this year.

OP - you can't control how this girl will react to the news that you've deceived her. I know if someone did that to me, I'd be asking what other lies I'd swallowed and I'd probably never trust them again. In the long run you're better off being truthful because most lies tend to come back to bite you at some stage.
Secondly, you can't know what this girl's like until you meet her in person. People who've done a lot of online dating will tell you that it's better to meet the person you like early on. Over time you build up a mental picture of them in your mind and when you meet them in person you'll find they don't match up to this. For all you know, you and her could have zero chemistry and might be more compatible as pen pals.

Is doing the jc next year yet he has a bank account and can afford €600+ for a custom built pc?! Something isn't adding up and doesn't sit right with me.

Stavro Mueller

Bank of mammy and daddy?

sara1

This post has been deleted.

Stavro Mueller

Possibly. We have to take the OP at his(?) word. Anyway it's no skin off my nose if I've been Catfished. It just goes to show that none of us can know who we're talking to online and what their motivations may be.

CollyFlower

sara1 wrote: »

Or the bank of creepy weirdo man.

My thoughts exactly.

Littlekittylou

anna080 wrote: »

Something about this just doesn't feel right. Hmmm. Just cut contact with this person and leave them be.

anna080 wrote: »

Something about this just doesn't feel right. Hmmm. Just cut contact with this person and leave them be.

knucklehead6 wrote: »

Read the OP's other posts. He's talking about junior cert next year.

Could be catfishing us for a laugh PI is full of that. boards.ie is no less susceptible.

OP she is going to think 'Well that was odd ' and move on.

You need to ask why you do this though. Is it like a joke or for the drama? Obviously you had no real thoughts of meeting her or you would have never have used a fake pic?

What's the kick out of leading people on?

Is it a case of 'dupers delight'?

Just learn and move on if you can.

Doris300

If you have built a relationship mainly on the connection of your personalities by only sending a couple of pictures then go for it. You were obviously in a difficult period before but it's great you feel confident now. Go for it. If you never reach out your hand you'll never catch If you have a proper connection with this person she may be okay with it.

StripedBoxers

I'm female and if I was chatting to someone who lied/sent fake photos of themselves I wouldn't have anything more to do with them to be honest.

It's quite creepy.

Tokyo

Ok everybody - if you have an issue with a post, or doubt its veracity, then report it. Speculating on it like this in thread is (a) dragging the thread off-topic, and (b) way too close to the line of backseat moderation. Back on topic please.

Regards,
Mike

disengage

OP, if this lady isn't of a similar age I'd do her a favour and just cut contact entirely. Can't see any kind of positive outcome from telling her this.