Thinking of deferring Uni, and no one to turn to...

dreamlings

Hi. I'm posting this thread is a last resort, really. I feel as if I've nobody to talk to, and I desperately need advise, so I decided to take my chances in posting this.

Firstly, I probably should mention as a preface that I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I attend a psychiatrist, but he's a very busy man, and I don't have regular appointments with him. Technically, I'm what they call a 'high-functioning schizophrenic'. This means that I did reasonably well in my Leaving Cert to get a place at Maynooth University, I do fairly well in the work I submitted for college in the past, and if you met me, you'd probably have very little idea that I was schizophrenic.

However, at the moment I'm really struggling with University. I've four essays over-due, and I'm nowhere near completing them. This is making me both depressed and psychotic - this morning I was briefly convinced that an UFO was following me. I'm at my wits end. I feel very low, and I'm struggling to connect with people in Maynooth.

I turned to my parents and mentioned I think I'd like to defer, and they got mad at me. As I'm a 'high functioning' schizophrenic, they don't understand why I'm the way I am. Why can't I just get over it? Why am I acting so spoilt and pampered? This led to a confrontation, that just ended in me crying and agreeing that I'll finish University out straight, even though I think I'm not capable of this.

I do visit a psychologist in the college, but as far as they are aware, I'm fine. After my parents yelled at me, it made me tell the psychologist that my essays are totally under control. I know I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't think this would get any worse.

I don't know what to do. I feel like crying most of the time.

If anyone could give me some advise, it would be very much appreciated.

Tokyo

dreamlings wrote: »

I do visit a psychologist in the college, but as far as they are aware, I'm fine. After my parents yelled at me, it made me tell the psychologist that my essays are totally under control. I know I shouldn't have done that, but I didn't think this would get any worse.

I don't know what to do. I feel like crying most of the time.

If anyone could give me some advise, it would be very much appreciated.

This, to me, stands out as part of the problem that you could immediately change.

Your psychologist should be an integral part of your support network at the moment - they are working with your best interests at heart - however, he or she can't help you work through any struggles you are facing if you lie to them and tell them that everything is okay, as they have nothing to base their assessment on. Arrange another appointment ASAP and this time tell them the truth - that you are struggling with university and that you are falling behind with work. Also tell them about the struggles between you and your parents over this - believe me they will have seen it all before. If you decide to take time away from Uni, they can talk through it with you, and if you decide to stay then they may be able to help you to get an extension on your work, or talk to your lecturers on your behalf (within the limits of what you are comfortable with them telling other people of course).

Regarding your parents, you are right - they don't understand what you are going through because they can't see it through your eyes. They see their son/daughter performing well academically, going to college like so many other peoples children, but they cant see the internal torment that you are going through at times, so it may take some time to win them round, whatever your decision.

But first things first OP, talk to your psychologist.

dreamlings

mike_ie wrote: »

This, to me, stands out as part of the problem that you could immediately change.

Your psychologist should be an integral part of your support network at the moment - they are working with your best interests at heart - however, he or she can't help you work through any struggles you are facing if you lie to them and tell them that everything is okay, as they have nothing to base their assessment on. Arrange another appointment ASAP and this time tell them the truth - that you are struggling with university and that you are falling behind with work. Also tell them about the struggles between you and your parents over this - believe me they will have seen it all before. If you decide to take time away from Uni, they can talk through it with you, and if you decide to stay then they may be able to help you to get an extension on your work, or talk to your lecturers on your behalf (within the limits of what you are comfortable with them telling other people of course).

Regarding your parents, you are right - they don't understand what you are going through because they can't see it through your eyes. They see their son/daughter performing well academically, going to college like so many other peoples children, but they cant see the internal torment that you are going through at times, so it may take some time to win them round, whatever your decision.

But first things first OP, talk to your psychologist.

Thank you so much for your reply. It really cleared things up for me.

I messaged my psychologist straight away, so we'll see how things progress from there.

Tokyo

dreamlings wrote: »

Thank you so much for your reply. It really cleared things up for me.

I messaged my psychologist straight away, so we'll see how things progress from there.

You're more than welcome - that's what the forum is for. By the sounds of it you are already making steps to better the situation - I wish you the best of luck with it.

ordinary_girl

OP, it's probably worth mentioning that I had slightly similar issues to yours when I was in college. Firstly, the over-due essays, have you requested an extension from your lecturers? I know it seems like asking a lot, but you don't even need to be very specific, most lecturers have encountered students who have varying degrees of difficulty for whatever reason and I'm sure they would want to help you.

I'm also going to echo what mike said about being open with your psychologist, the only way they can help you is if they know what's really going on. In terms of deferring for a year and having difficulty explaining yours reasons for this to your family, well, sometimes you have to accept that you're the best judge of what's best for you regardless of what other people say. Do you have a plan for the year? Are looking for a break? Do you think it would help you return to uni afterwards and feel better about your situation? If it was me, they're the kind of questions I'd consider.

LegacyUser

OP, I'd second what mike said and advise you to speak to your psychologist, and be as open as you can. I'd also recommend that you make an appointment with your psychiatrist. He may be a busy man, but helping you stay in good mental health is what he's there for.

It might also be useful to have your psychologist and/or psychiatrist meet with your parents and help them understand that being high functioning doesn't mean you're not susceptible to stress or relapse. Having your parents as a support for you is important, particularly if you live at home, and it's important that your environment there is conducive to helping you stay well.

And lastly, I'd second ordinary girl's suggestion of contacting your college. Perhaps there is someone, such as a tutor or course co-ordinator, who you could speak to who could help you with the immediate issues of your essays to take the pressure off you and give you time to think and time to get help via your mental health team. Once you have this sorted, you'll have time to look at your options and you might be in a better position to know what you want or need in terms of deferring or additional supports that you might need to help you through college.