Too late?

LegacyUser

I'm female, 32 years of age. I've been dating a 46 year old for the last 6 months& we're getting along really well. I suppose I've always felt I have another few years (?maybe 4-6, when I'd be 36-38 years of age) to play around with before starting to seriously consider the possiblity of having children. What's brought my thinking forward isn't so much my age, but my OHs. In 4 years time, he'll be 50. You read so many stories on here about younger guys --in their 30's& early 40's- freaking out with the arrival of a child, not able to cope with the lack of sleep& attention, tired from the physical exertion of minding the child...just generally acknowledging that it's all quite hard work!
The other thing is; "the journal Fertility & Sterility published one of the largest reviews of male fertility to date. The authors found that between the ages of 30 and 50, the average man's sperm declines by up to 30 percent in volume, swims up to 37 percent slower, and is five times more likely to be misshapen. Shape is important because it correlates with the sperm's genetic content. A higher number of misshapen sperm equals a greater potential for genetic abnormalities."
Long story short, we have a great relationship now, it's something that could progress longterm, & he would make a great father, BUT should I be thinking more practically& factually as regards his age/future family?

Dixie Chick

If he is a healthy man who takes care of himself there is no reason why you should think like this. There are many couples with a large age gap. People are aging better now. You are happy with this man, don't ruin it by thinking that way

Harika

I think an older man might even have less problems with lack of sleep & attention, because the older men get testosterone starts to decline and the estrogen rises, what makes men more calm.
Men are able to get children even after their 50 birthday but if you are worried have his sperm analysed and then frozen, also as you are already in your 30s it will be harder to conceived as the probability for women starts to decline after the age of 30, a negative factor also that it is your first child.
Overall I would say discuss it with him if you both want children now.

CaraMay

There is definitely a correlation between men's ages and sperm quality.

Have you discussed this with him? Will he want kids at 50?

LegacyUser

It's a tricky one. To discuss it means that I'll be asking him outright for a yes/no, and with this age if it's a yes, we'd probably need to start asap. And that's just not something that figured in my own lifeplan for at least a couple of years, the deciding on& the having of children. Also, would most men not think it was a bit intense to start discussing family after only 6months of dating?

CaraMay

moretimemoretime wrote: »

It's a tricky one. To discuss it means that I'll be asking him outright for a yes/no, and with this age if it's a yes, we'd probably need to start asap. And that's just not something that figured in my own lifeplan for at least a couple of years, the deciding on& the having of children. Also, would most men not think it was a bit intense to start discussing family after only 6months of dating?

I would think he would be expecting the conversation to happen. It must have crossed his mind that it could be a route you want to go down so I don't see the harm in asking his opinion / view. It's very important however to know what you want. There is no point wasting your time if he doesn't want kids and you do.

LegacyUser

Once your in your early 30's and six months with someone you should be having a conversation about having children. You both need to know how the other feels about having children.

The reality is that your 32 so if you want children and he does not you have to decide what you want to do. At 46 your boyfriend might want to have a child soon or he may have no interest in having a child due to his age.

I would advise you to start trying for a baby before 35 just in case you have any fertility issues and need help in having a baby.