Reading on the Toilet

Gael23

Do you do it?
I personally just do my business then out in 2 minutes or so usually.

Anybody who reads on the toilet will get piles. Also anyone who sits on a cold wall and anyone who doesn't eat their crusts. These are well known facts.

Source: My gran.

keithclancy

Ever played how slow can you go without breaking it ?

The Diabolical Monocle

Hands are always too busy with the mirror and forceps.

Gael23

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Hands always too busy with the mirror and forceps.

You need to eat some prunes:D

KungPao

If I'm struggling to release the bowels, maybe read something to pass the time.

If it's all a bit fast and furious, then no.

Molester Stallone II

ryanf1 wrote: »

You need to eat some prunes:D

He meant hes busy looking for his mickey so he can give it a little tug

hadepsx

Snap.I'm on it right now reading your thread ha

Gael23

KungPao wrote: »

If I'm struggling to release the bowels, maybe read something to pass the time.

If it's all a bit fast and furious, then no.

If its a struggle would that not be a distraction from your reading?

Sir Osis of Liver.

Work with a fella who brings a giant mug of tea when he goes in for a Barry White.

Archeron

If I forget to bring something else, I will read the back of shampoo bottles.

AnonoBoy

ryanf1 wrote: »

Do you do it?
I personally just do my business then out in 2 minutes or so usually.

2 minutes? What are you, eight years old or something?

Holy moley! I can only dream of a time when I could do my business in 2 minutes.

2 minutes?

Sheesh!

Some people, hah?

The scatological Speedy Gonzalez over here with his 2 minutes.





*wipes brow*

*strains*

PLOP!!!!

*clicks Submit Reply*

*breathes sigh of relief*

KungPao

ryanf1 wrote: »

If its a struggle would that not be a distraction from your reading?

Between pushes and after dashed hopes of a passed stool, I'll get a few lines in.

Gael23

AnonoBoy wrote: »

2 minutes?

Sheesh!

Some people, hah?

The scatological Speedy Gonzalez over here with his 2 minutes.





*wipes brow*

*strains*

PLOP!!!!

*clicks Submit Reply*

*breathes sigh of relief*

Well I never time it but I'm in and out usually.
Go in
Sit Down
Plop - Doesn't take me more than a minute
Wipe
Flush
Done

KungPao

ryanf1 wrote: »

Well I never time it but I'm in and out usually.
Go in
Sit Down
Plop - Doesn't take me more than a minute
Wipe
Flush
Done

Just one wipe? You are one sick individual.

Gael23

KungPao wrote: »

Just one wipe? You are one sick individual.

As many as required!

UCDVet

That depends....am I at home or work?

I don't know about the rest of you, but using the toilet at home just doesn't make sense, financially anymore. Especially now with this Irish Water business. Why would I do my business at home, when I have to literally, pay for the pleasure of doing so?

I can do it for free at work, and I'm still on the clock while I do. No paying for the rolls, no paying for the water.

Two minutes? Screw that - it's like a paid vacation each day, I make sure to take as long as I can. I kick back, read some comics on my cell phone, maybe play a game, then contemplate my existence....then, back to work I go.

Tail Docker

The seat of all learning.

Pinch Flat

I owe all I know to long stays on the jacks.

I won't even go unless I can set aside at least 20 mins and often spend longer. It's not a process to be rushed and a perfect opportunity for browsing the net or reading the paper. Can't understand how people can't do it in a few mins. Work is my prefers location for it also.

unitedrover

Read the entire Harry Potter series when I was younger.

Links234

No, just interwebs on my phone

why am i reading this

why are any of us reading this

paddydriver

Stay there too long and you'll get piles and sometimes pins and needles so bad that I need to just sit back down and have another read.

DoYouEvenLift

Normally load up a few interesting threads on another forum I use and bring the tablet with me because the WiFi doesn't reach the bathroom. If all else fails I play Mario kart lol

whupdedo

Archeron wrote: »

If I forget to bring something else, I will read the back of shampoo bottles.

I dont think you should be shtitin in the shower

nuttyboy79

It's not a decent crap unless you've pins and needles.

Cantremember

The Diabolical Monocle wrote: »

Hands are always too busy with the mirror and forceps.

Extraordinary bowel difficulty.

Teyla Emmagan

Definitely causes piles. This may even be personal experience!!

Cantremember

nuttyboy79 wrote: »

It's not a decent crap unless you've pins and needles.

Said the sword swallower.

Day Lewin

I always have a "bathroom book" on the go. Former favourites include survival tips in the wilderness, and etiquette books.
This week's special is a foodie book about flavour blending.

One critical point about bathroom books is that they should divide easily into short reading-bites, not lengthy chapters of narrative: so novels are not ideal in my opinion. (Either you stay too long, enraptured by the story, and get piles as mentioned above, or else you have forgotten the plot by the next time you use the services)

A book-marker is essential, folded loo-paper is definitely not classy:

and finally, lads, never forget to wash your hands!!!

Molester Stallone II

Links234 wrote: »

No, just interwebs on my phone

You mean porn don't you?

How Soon Is Now

Its one the only places i get a bit of peace and quite these days! :pac:

The pins and needles are an absolute bitch!

mdwexford

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

The pins and needles are an absolute bitch!

Thought that was just me!!!!!

Mickey H

In, don't even touch the seat. Fire it. Done.

Ninja dump.

Cheese Wagstaff

Reading while in the jacks is one of life's greatest pleasures. I wish I had to go now, just so I could do it.

Cienciano

Since smartphones have become popular, time taken for a shít must have increased ten fold

KungPao

Cienciano wrote: »

Since smartphones have become popular, time taken for a shít must have increased ten fold

And, hopefully, sales of antibacterial wipes.

Gael23

Cheese Wagstaff wrote: »

Reading while in the jacks is one of life's greatest pleasures. I wish I had to go now, just so I could do it.

Go get yourself a few suppositories and make it happen!!

UCDVet wrote: »

I can do it for free at work, and I'm still on the clock while I do. No paying for the rolls, no paying for the water.
.

You gotta go when you gotta go:)

anncoates

I haven't sat on the jacks at home without reading material for many years. Smartphones have allowed me to expand this dependence to work and other toilets too.

catallus

Mystery Egg wrote: »

why am i reading this

why are any of us reading this

I was given astern warning for starting a thread logging my shítting habits and I was told that this type of thing wasn't welcome here and now I see this!

Some are more equal than others obviously!:(

anncoates

katemarch wrote: »

One critical point about bathroom books is that they should divide easily into short reading-bites,

You're spot on

Just checked our bathroom book pile and it's:

Glossary/companion of Tamla Motown singles

Best of Portadown News

Best of Smash Hits magazine

Complete Guide To Dinosaur Life

30 Years of Subculture (photos)

Wordgloss - A Cultural Lexicon (basically a book of common and esoteric words and phrases and their origins)

FanadMan

katemarch wrote: »

I always have a "bathroom book" on the go. Former favourites include survival tips in the wilderness, and etiquette books.
This week's special is a foodie book about flavour blending.

One critical point about bathroom books is that they should divide easily into short reading-bites, not lengthy chapters of narrative: so novels are not ideal in my opinion. (Either you stay too long, enraptured by the story, and get piles as mentioned above, or else you have forgotten the plot by the next time you use the services)

A book-marker is essential, folded loo-paper is definitely not classy:

and finally, lads, never forget to wash your hands!!!

I have a collection of "Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader" books from my nephew and niece - really interesting. And great choice seeing as i am their uncle John Don't think I've ever used the loo at home without having a book with me. It was the only place I could get peace to read when I was a kid.

castletownman

I have often skipped taking a poo of a Sunday morning if all I'm left to read is the business or property section of the paper.

Up early for the sport and retire to the ceramic throne

Cienciano

Nothing worse than sitting down on the jacks and realising you dont have your phone

nerobert

Archeron wrote: »

If I forget to bring something else, I will read the back of shampoo bottles.

Finally I have found someone

Gael23

nerobert wrote: »

Finally I have found someone

I've also heard stories of people reading cleaning bottles!

Pinch Flat

nerobert wrote: »

Finally I have found someone

Same here. I'll somwtimes read various cleaners' constituent chemicals, purely to compare the concentrations of ingredients, for example nonionic surfactants, in each one

delw

unitedrover wrote: »

Read the entire Harry Potter series when I was younger.

Wow that must of been some poo

Karpackie

189 episodes of the extraordinary podcast: The History of Rome were listened to on the throne. Not all at the same time. That said; I won't be eating Greek food again for a while.

I'd never be a fan of listening over reading. But that is one amazing and insightful podcast series.

Fuzzytrooper

I like to think of the loo as my study or den.