I tend to live in dreamworld?

Littlekittylou

Well as the title says.

I do.

Sometimes I get carried away. I am never sure how good my instincts are.

I can wildly misinterpret the feelings others have for me in either a negative or positive way. I never seem to be correct.

I am not terribly important to many people. I can be a little bit introverted and it tends to lend itself to fantasy. In a way it's good I am quite emotionally self sufficient.

In the past I tended to fill in peoples indifference with my wish fullfillment. I haven't done that really anymore.

I think I have gotten a lot better. If anyone has advice?

I tended in the past to use my mind to block out severely distressing realities. I got quite good at it. But it sort of left me not trusting myself.

It is not just relationships but friendships. I worry I am bothering people. Or that I don't have a realistic view of them or our interaction.

I have never had like a huge big bust up with any one. I am careful with people and their feelings. Or I try to be.

How can I progress past this?

180Bhoy

Jesus. That's like reading a description of how my own mind works, exept the last bit :-)

Littlekittylou

180Bhoy wrote: »

Jesus. That's like reading a description of how my own mind works, exept the last bit :-)

Well at least we know. Or if we are dreamers ...how do we know we know?

Oh dear.

Macavity.

I relate to pretty much all of your post. Sometimes I think it's a coping mechanism.

Littlekittylou

Macavity. wrote: »

I relate to pretty much all of your post. Sometimes I think it's a coping mechanism.

I know it very definitely is.

So what do I do?

I try to focus on you know. 'Just do you'.

If you know what I mean.

.

Littlekittylou

Macavity. wrote: »

I relate to pretty much all of your post. Sometimes I think it's a coping mechanism.

Friends have said to me I try to hide my presence. In fact a lot of people have said it.

I avoid certain situations. I am fearful. I don't even realize I am doing it sometimes.

I don't know why I fear the world is so hostile. I know it's not.

mountsky

Littlekittylou wrote: »

Mod Snip: Please don't clog up the thread by quoting full posts. It just fills the thread with duplicate text. Only quote key points.

CBT as it's known,Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is meant to be very good

Pissy Missy

Littlekittylou wrote: »

Well at least we know. Or if we are dreamers ...how do we know we know?

Oh dear.

I think, therefore I am - descartes

Don Kedick

Livng in fantasy land can be dangerous. If you continue to live there then life might be passing you by and you aren't acheiving anything. The difficulties of life are so scary to you, imagining a better life in your head is your comfort blanket. It saves you from facing challenges head on, it pospones them for another time. I don't know how you can escape your dreamworld and face reality because I'm stuck in my own dreamworld.

Saralee4

Isn't it strange how nearly every poster here admitted that they could relate in some way to what you are saying. Maybe we all do it a little bit.

Littlekittylou wrote: »

I can wildly misinterpret the feelings others have for me in either a negative or positive way. I never seem to be correct.

It is not just relationships but friendships. I worry I am bothering people. Or that I don't have a realistic view of them or our interaction.

I tend to do this myself and someone could behave in completely the same way and depending on my own mood and self esteem at the time, I can either perceive things as negative or positive. I suppose its just trying to figure out what peoples motives are for their actions and because you are never going to be able to read other peoples minds then you fill in the blanks. Depending on your own state of mind at the time, you interpret things differently.

I do worry myself sometimes over absolutely nothing and get into my head that someone doesn't like me for no real reason but I think in reality I know that there is no rationality for it. Its almost like I'm preparing myself for the worst so your kind of detaching and controlling what the persons thoughts are in your own head even if its a unrealisticly negative. Does that make sense?

Im not sure of any advice I can give either but I guess it is a good thing that you can recognise it and try to ignore it when it happens.

Littlekittylou

Saralee4 wrote: »

Isn't it strange how nearly every poster here admitted that they could relate in some way to what you are saying. Maybe we all do it a little bit.




I do worry myself sometimes over absolutely nothing and get into my head that someone doesn't like me for no real reason but I think in reality I know that there is no rationality for it. Its almost like I'm preparing myself for the worst so your kind of detaching and controlling what the persons thoughts are in your own head even if its a unrealisticly negative. Does that make sense?

Thank you your words have made me feel less alone.

Sometimes yes I do feel this. But also it's easy to get carried away on your wishes for what you want rather than what is there.

I am not crazy or anything.

But i find myself misinterpreting aggression for instance where there is none. And finding out later i was mistaken.

I guess you could call it fear and paranoia. I can misread friends a lot.

But also I can dream a whole connection with someone and know it's all in my head and that's not healthy.

I can misinterpret peoples feelings when really they are indifferent to me and I know this in reality. I fill in the blanks incorrectly a lot. Often very negatively.

I think because I have a wild imagination and wild emotions myself I sort of imagine wild reactions from people. I am highly sensitive and probably over sensitive. Although I am much better.

I can get carried away on my wishes and dreams but I know I have to get out of that.

Littlekittylou

I tend to also invent my own nightmares a lot and scare myself half to death I do that more than anything.

Big Bag of Chips

What have you tried to do to stop yourself? Do you want to stop? Have you looked into CBT? Some how to retrain your brain to think in a different direction?

Littlekittylou

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

What have you tried to do to stop yourself? Do you want to stop? Have you looked into CBT? Some how to retrain your brain to think in a different direction?

I just refuse to act on it. I try not to get carried away with wish fulfillment.

Don't worry I never act on it.

I have tried to use up that energy in a positive way. That seems to help a lot.

The best thing is when I just 'do me'. I get into focusing on my own thing.

Big Bag of Chips

Littlekittylou wrote: »

Don't worry I never act on it.

I'm not worried at all! What you do or how your brain thinks has zero affect on my life

I'm going to log off here in a while and not give you a second thought. I've enough to be doing in my own life. I'm not saying that to be mean by the way, I'm trying to point out that you are completely wrapped up in your world, and you personalise everything to you. Most other people do it in their own lives and personalise everything to them.

It's not really that unusual.

I think you are early 20s, am I right? Children tend to live like you do. Everything is about them. They imagine scenarios that aren't there. They feel responsible if something goes wrong in their world/family/friends etc. As we get older we get a bit more sense and start to realise that maybe it's not all about us. But to a certain extent it remains with us.

I don't know if what you have is within the normal range that everyone thinks like this. Or if you're way off the scale. What you might be thinking is exactly how others think and feel, but if you're a dramatic person you might be exaggerating it to yourself and thinking you are so much worse than everyone else.

I have children, I imagine worse case scenarios, and nightmare situations, but then I cop myself on.

I think you are probably a dramatic person and that leads to you having an exaggerated and amplified view of the goings on in the word. Life is long and generally boring. If all our lives were like soap operas we'd be burnt out. If you are seeing a counsellor, maybe try work through this. But if you are just overly dramatic, and that is your personality, then you're probably always going to be overdramatic!

I read a line somewhere the other day that maybe you could remind yourself of every so often: Never make assumptions, because you will always be wrong

Littlekittylou

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Mod Snip: Please don't clog up the thread by quoting full posts. It just fills the thread with duplicate text. Only quote key points.

It was a figure of speech Chips! :-P

I am a dramatic or well emotional person. I think it is a matter of learning to deal with that.

I think it is because others do have a huge impact on MY feelings and I DO think about things like that and it DOES deeply affect me I think it works the other way around maybe.
I forget others are not as sensitive as me.

I do worry about people. Even little things.

I must be mad!

Big Bag of Chips

I'm sure some people think about you, and some people worry about you. Those closest to you probably. I think about people and I worry about people. But I don't think about everyone, or worry about everyone. I haven't time!!

From what you are saying I don't think you are all that different to a lot of people, but I think (probably due to this "dream world" you feel you live in) that you think you are different. The first few responses you got were from people telling you they felt exactly the same.

Another line I heard years ago: Always remember you are unique, just like everybody else

Littlekittylou

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Mod Snip: Please don't clog up the thread by quoting full posts. It just fills the thread with duplicate text. Only quote key points.

I guess I just feel I need to check in now and again. To make sure. I know I have work to do on it. But thank you for being understanding. :-)

I love this quote.
Another line I heard years ago: Always remember you are unique, just like everybody else

It's exactly how I feel. Thank you.