his ex is famous

LegacyUser

Hi, bit of stupid issue

I feel quite inadequate compared to my fella's ex. She broke his heart completely. We're together 3 years, living together, all goin well and talking of marraige, kids the whole shebang.

I get really intimidated any time I see her facebook or twitter (I know, I know, I shouldn't look it up but everyone does it!).

Thing is, she's sorta famous. And I know that alot of her photos are professional and her whole profile is carefully constructed, but she's 8 years younger, thinner, hotter, everything. I just feel like a consolation prize sometimes. He rarely ever mentions her btw. I know its all in me head!

How can I shut up my brain?

Tokyo

Almost everybody has a past - whether with a famous person or not. And it's natural to a point to draw comparisons in your mind. But the fact of the matter is that you are more focused on his ex than he is (barely crosses his mind from the sounds of it), and is now talking of marriage and kids with you. So it sounds to me that he's found the prize that he wanted all along, and every time you have a doubt, you need to remind yourself of that.

From a practical perspective, stop facebook stalking his ex. You're beating yourself up comparing yourself to a bunch of professional photos, nothing more. Delete her facebook and twitter feed, and focus on the positives.

miamee

OP, famous doesn't mean anything at all except that her job (if she has one) brings her into the public eye a bit more than your average person. Some people become 'famous' for just turning up to the opening of a crisp packet several days a week and hoping that their photo gets published from one or two of them. Not saying this is her, it's just nothing to measure yourself up against.

As mike_ie has said, your boyfriend is happy with you. She broke his heart, you love him and treat him right. Her age and body pale into insignificance when he remembers how she hurt him, I'm sure. Stop the Facebook stalking, unfollow her page, unfriend her, stop following her on Twitter, Instagram or wherever else and start focusing on this man who loves you. You're only tormenting yourself.

LegacyUser

She has all that going on, but you have your fella and she doesn't. She needs the camouflage of a carefully constructed public image and the validation of fame, you have a life plan coming together with someone you love. I'd call that a win for you.

kjl

I used to go out with a playboy model, but I am much more attracted to my current girlfriend.

Just because someone looks good in a picture does not mean that in real life they are as attractive. Photoshop plays a massive part too.

Fact is he is not with her now and I doubt he is thinking about her as much as you are.

December2012

There is no competition between you.

You are obsessing over her appearance, her profile and her fame - which is pointless. She is a normal human being who has a slightly abnormal job.

You should look at yourself and examine why you feel you should compare yourself unfavourably to anybody. You are you. She is she. That's it.

Treat her the same as any ex.

You don't have to get over her - your boyfriend did.

Nabber

Guessed wrote: »

She needs the camouflage of a carefully constructed public image and the validation of fame,

Bit harsh considering she has done nothing to the OP?

OP is insecure, that's not her Fellas EXs fault.

MugMugs

Op, I met the perfect girl for me at the time. Great fun, similar interests, found her extremely attractive and pretty much loved her outright except for one thing that I couldn't get past. The fact that she was consumed with jealousy over my ex. My ex was to am outsider, stunning. This ate her up. She flung it back at me during any disagreement no matter how trivial. It was as if there was 3 of us in the relationship. I didn't even speak to this girl anymore and had her on Facebook. She couldn't handle it and frankly, I couldn't handle her jealousy so I ended it.

He's with you. He's not alone pining to get back with his ex. He's with you. Accept that!

Stavro Mueller

Maybe he's happier not to be dating someone famous. Personally I couldn't think of anything worse. Imagine not being able to go places without strangers recognising your other half? Curtailing your social life. Perhaps having to take precautions to ensure you had some privacy. Having a "hot" girlfriend isn't all it's cracked up to be and I'm sure your boyfriend would be the first to agree.

Chucky the tree

Sounds like the fact she's famous is fairly irrelevant. I think the bigger issue is that she is young, better looking and probably more importantly she was the one to break your boyfriends heart.

LegacyUser

Chucky the tree wrote: »

Sounds like the fact she's famous is fairly irrelevant. I think the bigger issue is that she is young, better looking and probably more importantly she was the one to break your boyfriends heart.

Hi, op here.
Thanks for the replies so far. I think the above is probably most accurate. I think it's more cos she's way more attractive and probably interesting and also that he was so in love with her that she had the power to break his heart. The famous thing makes it a bit worse but I dunno if maybe I'd feel this way even if she wasn't

Detached Retina

sureicanthinkofnothinstill wrote: »

Hi, op here.
Thanks for the replies so far. I think the above is probably most accurate. I think it's more cos she's way more attractive and probably interesting and also that he was so in love with her that she had the power to break his heart. The famous thing makes it a bit worse but I dunno if maybe I'd feel this way even if she wasn't

Sadly there will be always someone more attractive, popular or famous than we are ourselves - but chances are you might not be as tall or whatever etc., but may look better to him in general, in the morning or without make-up, are Funnier and MORE interesting to talk too. Don't under rate yourself! And some people get hug up on the idea that they were in love, or when they were younger had a thing about "for show" partners. That is, get a buzz off compliments paid to someone else by association. Been there in the past

CaraMay

sureicanthinkofnothinstill wrote: »

Hi, op here.
Thanks for the replies so far. I think the above is probably most accurate. I think it's more cos she's way more attractive and probably interesting and also that he was so in love with her that she had the power to break his heart. The famous thing makes it a bit worse but I dunno if maybe I'd feel this way even if she wasn't

A friend of mine went out with someone 'famous' and turns out her persona was entirely false. She was a total coke head with crazy mood swings and absolute paranoia. Just because she looks good and has a cool job doesn't means she was the perfect woman.

Stavro Mueller

Also, he's unlikely to think she's so wonderful these days because she dumped him(?) and broke his heart. That was then, this is now.

Pippy1976

sureicanthinkofnothing wrote: »

How can I shut up my brain?

1. Meditate,
2. Stop looking at her FB page.

Brego888

I used to go out with a girl who had a very famous ex who was a professional athlete. In the beginning I kinda thought this was cool! Then I became a bit intimidated by it. What did help actually was when we meet him together once and my girlfriend at the time reacted really well to it, never giving off the impression she was interested in him at all. Something which is hard for us to believe given the attraction we all have to fame.

I think the key to getting past something like this is looking at yourself and your own self esteem. I got past this because I was confident in other areas of my life and felt content. So any worries I had on it just faded. The issue isn't really this other person it's how you view yourself.