Silly question after first date

Kh1993

Probably a stupid and childish problem but anyway..

Been out on a dates a few days ago with a girl I met online. went great, talking for hours, kiss at the end of the night and we both said we should do it again.. Was texting at the end of the night to make sure she got home ok, all fine.

I know she was in work at the weekend, but I texted twice, no reply but both read. I want to ask her out on a second date but just wanted to talk first. Now I'm wondering should I just ask her out straight but worrying that I could come off desperate (would be 3 texts in 3 days) or that she's not interested in replying back. Before the date we were texting literally non stop, essay length texts.

Not into playing games or any of these dating rules, but just a bit clueless in trying not to come off desperate..

MagicMarker

Sorry but it doesn't sound like she's interested in a second date. You've text twice now, I wouldn't text again.

CollyFlower

I'd wait for her to reply first before you send another text.

chrismon

MagicMarker wrote: »

Sorry but it doesn't sound like she's interested in a second date. You've text twice now, I wouldn't text again.

I agree completely.
If she's interested she will get back to the texts you have already sent

CollyFlower

MagicMarker wrote: »

Sorry but it doesn't sound like she's interested in a second date. You've text twice now, I wouldn't text again.

I think she is interested, as the OP said they had a great time, maybe she has no credit in her phone to reply.

ectoraige

Kh1993 wrote: »

went great, talking for hours, kids at the end of the night

:eek: That was quick!!!

I would guess she's not interested in another date. Don't presume though, give her a day and then just ask. At least then you'll know for sure.

Kh1993

ectoraige wrote: »

:eek: That was quick!!!

I would guess she's not interested in another date. Don't presume though, give her a day and then just ask. At least then you'll know for sure.

Didn't even spot that myself at first!

I'm thinking that, just kinda want a bit of clarity either way. Like we were texting after the date, but then the next day, nothing

beauty101

OP were the 2 unanswered texts conversational or something which warranted a reply? I'm trying to look on the bright side as not everybody is into texting. Although the fact you said you had a big text conversation after the date suggests otherwise.

For peace of mind maybe send another text, but wait a few days. Make sure it's a message that's engaging. If you get no response then you can move on to bigger and better things. Best of luck.

Tokyo

You've done your part - you've initiated contact. Now the ball is in her court. If she responds, great. If she doesn't respond then you have your answer, don't dwell on it and move on.

Kh1993

beauty101 wrote: »

OP were the 2 unanswered texts conversational or something which warranted a reply? I'm trying to look on the bright side as not everybody is into texting. Although the fact you said you had a big text conversation after the date suggests otherwise.

For peace of mind maybe send another text, but wait a few days. Make sure it's a message that's engaging. If you get no response then you can move on to bigger and better things. Best of luck.

conversational, a follow up to the previous night really.

CaraMay

Kh1993 wrote: »

Didn't even spot that myself at first!

I'm thinking that, just kinda want a bit of clarity either way. Like we were texting after the date, but then the next day, nothing

If she doesn't reply you've got your clarity. Closure is overrated

DoozerT6

OP, it may have been the case that she really wasn't interested in meeting up again after the initial date, but didn't want to say it at the time for fear of making things awkward at the end of the night. So she could have just done the obligatory 'yes I'd like to meet up again' spiel and then hoped you'd get the message to the contrary if she didn't reply to your texts. That's kinda how it works, unfortunately.

baby and crumble

Why not just call her and ask her out?

Kh1993

DoozerT6 wrote: »

OP, it may have been the case that she really wasn't interested in meeting up again after the initial date, but didn't want to say it at the time for fear of making things awkward at the end of the night. So she could have just done the obligatory 'yes I'd like to meet up again' spiel and then hoped you'd get the message to the contrary if she didn't reply to your texts. That's kinda how it works, unfortunately.

I was kinda thinking this, in that she was being nice, but maybe the fact she didn't ignore me straight away that night gave me a bit of false hope

CaraMay

Kh1993 wrote: »

I was kinda thinking this, in that she was being nice, but maybe the fact she didn't ignore me straight away that night gave me a bit of false hope

She has ignored two texts. It's probably best to move on.

DoozerT6

Kh1993 wrote: »

I was kinda thinking this, in that she was being nice, but maybe the fact she didn't ignore me straight away that night gave me a bit of false hope

When I was online dating, I would always text the guy when I got home just to say I got home in one piece and had a nice night, etc... the guys would always reply, maybe even a few texts back and forth before calling it a night.

The next day - nothing. Or the days following that.

Best move on, I'd say.

Matteroffact

If she was interested she would have replied. If her phone was out of credit she would have gotten credit by now. Don't waste any more time wondering and don't text again.

smokie72

Same thing happened to me this week. Went on a date last Sunday, texted her last Monday to say I enjoyed it and hope we meet up again. She didn't bother to reply so I took the hint. Her number is long deleted by now. Been there and wore the t shirt. If I'm not interested I let the person know. I like to be honest with people and wish they were the same. Best to move on op.

beks101

If you have to ask the question, "is she interested?" then unless she comes back with a pretty damn good excuse, she's almost certainly not.

And that goes both ways. When I first started dating my OH, we were a few dates in when all of a sudden radio-silence with the texts. He called me the next day mortified that he hadn't replied telling me his battery died and his charger went AWOL and asked me out again over the phone.

People will go out of their way to signal interest in the dating world, unless it's 1. not there, or, less commonly, 2. there are some personal issues afoot. Either way, it's best to move on and look for someone who's on the same page as you.

Brock Turnpike

Do not, under any circumstances, send another text or call her. You've sent two messages and you've seen that she's read them. If she hasn't replied, then move on. Chalk it down as one of those things that happens in the dating world and get back to finding someone who is interested. Nothing to be ashamed of.

LegacyUser

I'm sorry but she is not interested, if she was she would have replied by now. Bit **** of her to not just be honest but she probably feels bad that she's just not into you.

LuckyLloyd

Isn't it a shame that she couldn't formulate that lack of interest into a couple of sentences and text them back? I know that non response is the done thing and does, unfortunately, mean she probably isn't interested in a further date but it's terrible that such behaviour is now expected and acceptable.

OP: sounds like you'll have to suck this one up. Bit disappointing but best to move on and look for the next opportunity, good luck.