Lonely life and always comparing myself to other people.

LegacyUser

Just wondering why i'm always doing this and if anyone has advice on overcoming it. So i'm 24 years of age and find i'm always comparing myself to other people my age. Like in terms of personality, amount of friends, how talkative I am etc. I find it difficult to accept myself and have found this for years.

I'm constantly thinking about why i'm not as outgoing as other people my age are. Like in work i'm fairly quiet and keep to myself, I'll go out to most social functions like after work drinks but actually in work I never participate in small talk around the desk. I also constantly wonder what other people my age do after work and why i'm so lonely. I tend to just go to work, come home, read or play guitar and then sleep. I've this idea in my head that everyone else my age is much more active socially with loads of things to do after work.

At weekends I'd go for coffee the odd time with my mate and generally go drinking but some days I'd just be lazing around the house doing nothing much except watching the sport on TV.

Maybe my life is actually pretty normal but I always feel it could be a lot better as in more social, more busy, more people to talk to. It's weird though because some days I feel like I don't wanna talk much but I should want to. The only real time I try new things and push myself to be more social is whilst travelling which I usually do solo. My life seems boring compared to others on facebook etc. Definitely more lonely anyway. Any advice?

Rubberchikken

you sound perfectly normal to me and doing a perfectly normal amount of sdtuff.
first thing yoiu have to do is to stop comparing. it's a great waste of time and i think you realise it.

are your workmates a similar age? even if they aren't, when you have something to contribute to the conversation, then jump right in.
if you don't have something to say at that time, that's great too. it's not a competition.

not everyone your age or any age, for that matter, is buzzing around mad busy all the time.
you have a hobby, playing the guitar. you like watching sport, you go out fore a coffee or drink when you're in the mood. that all sounds great.

ignore half the nonsense on FB and pay no attention to the rest.

if you want to do more, then go and do it, but first start to be happy with what you've got going at the moment.

take care.

retro:electro

Am I right in thinking you posted about this issue before op? Your life sounds pretty normal to me anyway. I'm sure most of your workmates go home after work to chill and relax, they hardly go bunjee jumping or rock climbing! If you feel like your lacking socially then why don't you join some clubs or something. Also, people's lives on facebook are always far more attractive looking than in reality. We all have the ability to make our social lives look far better than they actually are if we wanted to.

LLMMML

It doesn't really matter whether your social life is "normal" or not. It does sound lacking. Of course it's normal in that a lot of people have lacking social lives but you're obviously not happy with it and in this case I don't think it's down to the usual facebook envy. It sounds like you've one friend and only see them once at the weekend. Most people would find that lonely. Unfortunately the only person who can change this is yourself. The main thing to realise is that it's unlikely that someone will realise you're lonely and try to help you by being your friend. You have to make the effort or get over your fears. I don't have any good advice on that. It's just something you have to do.

sashafierce

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