Suddenly gone cold???

Two Tone from Limehouse

Met a gorgeous girl a few months back and got her number, but had been texting her for a few weeks before we met. Got on great, met again a few weeks later. Then she started questioning why I wasn't anxious to see her / meet her. I was v busy at the time but she said that was ridiculous and asked me was I married. I then told her the truth in that was not long out of a long term relationship. After much persists ce she agreed to meet me again, and we went out and had a great tine( or so I thought) . We spent the night together again, and all was grand next day. Did notice when u went to kiss her goodbye, she gave me her cheek though. Anyway, couple of days later she texts me to tell me that she's not into me and when I questioned her she said she just doesn't fancy me in that way. Now, given that the night went well... No awkward silences, conversation flowed, had her laughing and the rest, I'm quite stunned. Both in our late 30s so we're not kids.sent her one or two more txts basically stating my confusion but also saying I respect her decision. However im. gutted, despite only knowing her a few months she ticked a lot of boxes. I don't mean to be arrogant but I don't understand why she wouldn't fancy me. After all, if you fancy somebody initially you fancy then. And each time we met we got in better. Is she playing games to play hard to get, or does she she not trust me?

Merkin

But she has told you why. She explicitly said that she doesn't fancy you in that way so the soul searching and analysing probably isn't necessary given that she gave you a fairly direct, albeit harsh , answer. I'd let this one go.

rcarroll

Sounds like she was just picking up the signals you were givong off...you claimed to be busy, seemed not keen on meeting at the beginning and when pushed you say you were just out of a long term relationship. To be honest I'd be putt off as well and probably think it's too much work and not worth the bother and possible headwreck of dealing with someone who's not ready for a relationship. Just let it go

Barely There

Don't really get what your issue is.

She's told you she doesn't fancy you - what could be clearer?

Move on.

ManOfMystery

People can get on fantastically, but still not fancy each other. As said, she has told you how she feels - that fact you had lots of good conversation is neither here nor there. Move on

retro:electro

Maybe your "I don't understand why she wouldn't fancy me" attitude came across as arrogance which is so unattractive. But no she is not playing games or hard to get, she doesn't fancy you, simple as. Move on and don't contact her again.

Meauldsegosha

Two Tone from Limehouse wrote: »

After all, if you fancy somebody initially you fancy then.

I have to disagree with that. Initial attraction can fade quickly as you get to know a person.

As others have said your attitude may have caused her not to fancy you anymore.

Mr. Incognito

Maybe what you thought was good chemistry was sexually unsatisfying for her and she doesn't see a future with you.

Sorry but that is what it looks like objectively reading your post.

She met you, felt brushed off. Gave you one more crack and you didn't do it for her.

Ce la vie. Take it on the chin and move on.

skallywag

Here is one possible take on it perhaps.

She does indeed fancy you, but got the hump because you didn't have enough time for her. I would imagine that some other guy has now appeared on the scene (who is showering her with attention) hence she has no qualms about cutting you loose, and has decided to throw a revenge kick in on your way out the door by telling you that she doesn't fancy you anyway.

Two Tone from Limehouse

Thanks for getting back guys. I don't think I'm an arrogant person, maybe a little cocky ( as she said herself) . Think I may have overcompensated and seemed a bit too keen after initially being too cool. I'm just remembering so e of the things I said. Yet for some reason I was al ready making excuses as to what I was doing this weekend before she got the chance to ask... I don't know why!!??did say to her back in her house that I'd call to her during the week and she laughed and said once a week is enough at the moment! Think why I'm finding it hard to move on is because I do really like her and she ticked a lot of boxes. And I suppose it's the first time in a long time somebody told me they didn't fancy me ( and no it's not about ego, am prob just a little hurt) .
I've been with a few recently ( before I met her) and couldn't be bothered meeting them, but with her it was differant. Anyway, no point in contacting her again, if she wants to, she has my number ( unless she's deleted it lol)

CaraMay

She feels about you as you feel about the other girls you have been seeing - nit interested enough to give it a go.