Elderly abuse

spygirl

Hope someone here can offer an opinion please.
What is the situation regarding adult children living in their parents home and it's not a healthy environment emotionally for the parent?

The situation is a grown man who verbally abuses his mother on a regular basis. there has never been any violence just threats,constant put downs and verbal abuse. Examples of which would be I wish you were dead, your stupid etc.

Can this lady seek a barring order or anything?

She has requested he stop or else move out but you can imagine the responses she has gotten.

She is seriously considering moving out of her home.

Are there any other options she can look into?

Any and all suggestions appreciated.I appreciate no actual legal advice can be given. I have suggested she speak to citizens information etc just wondering if barring/protection orders etc such as those in family law regarding spousal abuse or similar apply in this situation as well. Thanks

Roquentin

he sounds like the bubble boy

spygirl

I can think of quite a few names for him, none of which are as pleasant as bubble boy

Roquentin

spygirl wrote: »

I can think of quite a few names for him, none of which are as pleasant as bubble boy

its from seinfeld. the bubble boy is really abusive to his parents

spygirl

Didn't get the reference Roquentin,sorry. If he refuses to move out though can she do anything about it?

MarkAnthony

A clip round the ear which seems to becoming several decades too late.

If it's harassment seek advice from the guards. Alternatively contact someone at FLAC for legal advice.

Roquentin

get him to a counsellor id say

spygirl

Has been suggested but not happening. It has been going on for years. Lady is starting to fear for herself at this stage.

Manach

On the one hand, afaik, there is the route barring orders with is also available in such situations and having the adult child gone removed from the house.
On the other, what would be the future for the elder then as both the supports from the social services are poor and the there then is the possiblity of a move to a retirement facility which might be of variable quality and care, significantly impacting quality of life
Offhand I believe there is a carer's association site, so they might have guidance on the best way to resolve this or to mediate between the two.

Victor

The term is usually "elder abuse". There is usually a requirement that the victim be over 65 years old.

However, it is still unacceptable abuse, regardless of age or ability.

http://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/olderpeople/elderabuse/What_is_Elder_Abuse_/

What is Elder Abuse?

Elder abuse is defined as -

''A single or repeated act, or lack of appropriate action, occurring within any relationship where there is an expectation of trust which causes harm or distress to an older person or violates their human and civil rights.'' (Protecting our Future, Report of the Working Group on Elder Abuse, September 2002)

65 years of age is taken as the point beyond which abuse may be considered to be elder abuse.

spygirl wrote: »

What is the situation regarding adult children living in their parents home and it's not a healthy environment emotionally for the parent?

Unless there is a good reason for the adult child to live with the parent(s), e.g. intellectual disability, then there is no obligation on the parent to provide the child with housing.

Can this lady seek a barring order or anything?

I think there are different types of order, but yes, something can be done.

I have suggested she speak to citizens information etc

www.flac.ie might be a better option. The often operate from citizens information centres.

spygirl

I told her she should speak to a solicitor about barring orders eviction notices etc. He is not her carer and the lady is not dependent on him or anyone else for anything. IMHO just an abusive freeloader. If it were a husband going on like that i think the situation might be easier to resolve.

Little CuChulainn

A safety order could probably be obtained. The easiest way to get advice is to contact Womens Aid or a local advocacy group for help. The victim will have to go to their district court and apply for an order from a judge. The staff in the courts office will provide the relevant forms. The judge generally issues a temporary order with a date set for a hearing for the permanent one. The victim can notify the Gardaí if the order is breached and the son would likely be arrested and charged for the breach.

Munstermissy

Is there any other siblings that could put pressure on the son to either cop on or get him to move out? Is he working as in can he afford to rent elsewhere.

spygirl

They are trying. Not sure about is financial situation just know that it can't continue as it is. Even if he can't afford it.....she shouldn't have to put up with it.