child not attending local school

crazylikeme

Hi
just looking for a little advice from anyone in a similar situation.

I have 2 kids aged 6 and 5 and we live in a rural place. My partner and I work in a city 30 miles away. Getting a local job is not an option any time soon.
My partner parents live in the city we both work in and they mind our children whilst we are at work. As a result we made the decision to send both the children to the city school.
I am very happy with the childcare arrangement and the kids love it too.
The only difficulty is making local friends. Since the kids are out of the house all week.. I do worry about them making enough local connections. anyone has any tips?
My 6 year old joined local scouts this year, so I am hoping that with time this will help.
My 5 year old is not bothered yet, but my 6 year old is starting to look for friends at the weekend and here is where the problem lies. We do not live on an estate, so we are in a sense isolated.

Any tips would be appreciated.

PS. selling the house is not an option either.

Decoda

Sports is a great way for children to make friends....try checking out your local GAA club or soccer club and see if they have kids club or teams suitable for your children? My kids have joined camogie / soccer clubs and have made friends both in our locality and across the county through participation in sports.

It really surprised me when my eldest started secondary school and knew boys throughout his year merely from his participation in team sport through the years.

Best of luck

DC

Rosy Posy

Inviting kids from his class to come over for a play or sleepover after school or on the weekend could work too...with the hope that the invitations would be reciprocated.

RedXIV

I second sports. Some of my oldest friends come from a martial arts club I joined eons ago, and made friends in the rugby club too. And they always have something to talk about

FactCheck

My biggest concern would be spending 60 miles a day in the car. That's a lot.

Will they even be accepted to the local school given that you live so far away? Or are you going to pretend to live at the grandparent's house?

Honestly in your shoes I would be trying to do whatever I could to move closer.

Big Bag of Chips

Best way is to get them involved in local activities. But you might find they are home too late in the evenings for somethings. The local GAA is big in our area and most of the kids would be involved. There's also an athletics club locally that most of the kids love.

Do you know any local parents who you can ask about what happens in the area?

crazylikeme

yes, I was thinking sports too. Will try to get them into local GAA or camogie. My 6 year old is old enough for it, my 5 year old will have to wait, but he is not bothered at the moment anyway.

As to the 60 miles an the car.... thats life. Its a lot but not the end of the world, the journey takes us 45 minutes. I have been totally upfront with the school in the city about our address and the reasons for us choosing that school, and the principal was great, she had no issue with it. In fact she stated herself that its better to have childcare with the family, it gives the children the most solid foundation.

I have volunteered to be leader for the scouts, so I am hoping through this I too will make local parents connections and everything will just fall into place....

Beaner1

Move house. That is a ridiculous lifestyle for your kids.

Big Bag of Chips

Our local GAA club takes kids once they turn 5 OR start school. It would be worth looking in to. You can also volunteer with the club for the younger ages. Even if you've never played the sport yourself you could still help out with the small ones. It's a great way to get to know parents.

indigo twist

How is it ridiculous?

I don't think 45 minutes each way is a long commute for school or work - I'm sure the children have their own way of entertaining themselves for the journeys, and besides, isn't it wonderful for all family members to be together for that much time each day, to catch up on each others' lives - many families don't have that. It's certainly not long enough a distance to necessitate moving house over if they're otherwise happy with their home and with the area.

OP I was in a similar situation in that my siblings and I did not attend the local primary school - it was easier for us, though, as we lived in a housing estate and got home quite early in the evenings. I think becoming leader for the scouts is a fantastic idea. If you could get to know some of the parents, you could make it a regular Saturday routine with 3-4 of their friends' parents that one family takes all of the group each Saturday afternoon to play at their house, and do it in rotation - giving the other families a break, and also allowing your child to spend time with their friends.

crazylikeme

thanks indigo twist and everyone else.

We have a lovely home, nothing extravagant but in a really lovely area, safe and with very large garden, with very close and very small community with lovely neighbours. Only 5 houses on our boreen. We love where we are and the kids love it too. I would not consider moving (apart of the fact we are tied to a mortgage that we do not want to loose- tracker) The kids have a lot of space and love their garden and the quietness our place offers. My 6 year old told me she loves seeing our pet fox in the garden and can hear the birds in the mornings....I think that says it all.

They also love the grandparents, my daughter often tells me she loves being with granny every day....

And I will go to any length to integrate them, even if it meant to volunteer for more activites in our local town, after all that's what good parents do...isn't it? Might do me good too as many of you suggested

Thanks for listening and for your great ideas and of course for re-assurance that it will all work out

crazylikeme

thanks indigo twist and everyone else.

We have a lovely home, nothing extravagant but in a really lovely area, safe and with very large garden, with very close and very small community with lovely neighbours. Only 5 houses on our boreen. We love where we are and the kids love it too. I would not consider moving (apart of the fact we are tied to a mortgage that we do not want to loose- tracker) The kids have a lot of space and love their garden and the quietness our place offers. My 6 year old told me she loves seeing our pet fox in the garden and can hear the birds in the mornings....I think that says it all.

45 mins commute is not that long, regardless of the mileage. Some of my colleagues commute this within the city.

The kids also love the grandparents, my daughter often tells me she loves being with granny every day....so where do you strike the balance?

I will have to make effort to integrate them, even if it meant to volunteer for more activities in our local town, after all that's what good parents do...isn't it? Might do me good too as many of you suggested

Thanks for listening and for your great ideas and of course for re-assurance that it will all work out

Big Bag of Chips

Volunteers are always welcome. You'd be surprised how many kids are involved in things but how few parents sign up to help out!! And you're right about what being a good parent is all about. It's only now that I have children of my own I realise how much my parents did for us. I used to hear my mother saying she was never off the road.. I now know what she means.

If only we could claim travel expenses from somewhere!!

crazylikeme

I suspect as they get older you do become a taxi driver...:) heard so many saying that. Mine are still quite small but I suspect it will happen to us too

eviltwin

I have a similar commute with my daughter, we live about 20 miles from school but with Dublin traffic it takes an age in the mornings. Its a pain in the arse but its not the end of the world, she reads, listens to music or we just chat on the way. Re friends another +1 for sports.