Should I get a dog?

pug_

Both my wife and kids have been on to me for a while now to get a dog. The thing is I'm the only one in the family who has any experience looking after a dog and up until recently as soon as I start to point out the less glamorous side of dog ownership they've tended to back down.

That changed recently when my son has started becoming more attached to the idea and less daunted by the work involved. So now I'm wondering am I wrong to push back against dog ownership?

I know we can provide a loving family, and there's no issue of exercising properly etc. My wife also works 3 hours a day so there is someone in the house almost all of the time for company. But we don't have a large garden, I know not all dogs require one but it's still a concern for me. And there are occasional times when we'll have to go down the country for weekends and won't be able to bring a dog with us, but again we're friendly with neighbours who have dogs and they generally help each other out if someone is away for a few days.

I also think back to when I was my sons age and the love I had for our dogs, and it breaks my heart to think I could be forcing him to miss out on that kinship for what could be the wrong reasons.

But there is still that nagging doubt in my mind that it could be just a fad and if the realities of dog ownership don't match the dream all responsibility could eventually fall to me. In principle for me that would be fine, I love dogs, but if it became my sole responsibility I don't feel that as an individual I have the time to give a dog the love and attention it deserves.

I'm not sure If and of the above makes sense or not, but essentially I'm conflicted, and just want to do the right thing. I know there is probably no right answer, but any advice or experience of similar situations would be appreciated.

boomerang

I think realistically OP, all responsibility *will* fall to you so I think make the decision on that basis. The size of the garden isn't an issue really - are you concerned because you intend the dog to spend most of the time outside? Walks and quality-time with its owners are infinitely more important to a dog than the size of their garden. A dog will never exercise itself on its own in the back yard.

pug_

The garden isn't an issue really, I just mentioned it because in my head I like to give a dog some freedom. I understand that that isn't the case and it's probably just a hangup from my childhood where we had lots of space and I remember spending a lot of time running around playing.

I think the dog would mostly be indoors, I'd want it to be part of the family not outside looking in at us. Exercise isn't a problem we go out for regular walks anyway and often go to parks and woodlands with the kids so it would be well looked after that way.

My main concern is the responsibility. My family promises it won't fall to me, and I've even gone so far as to say I wouldn't help look after it (though I don't mean it) and they say they're fine with that. But the fact that they have no experience makes me worry that well intentioned as they may be the reality of taking on a dog for however long it lives may not match their expectations.

VonVix

Would you consider fostering? It would allow you to see how the dynamic changes in your household, without making a life long commitment to a dog as well as helping a dog out in the process. There would be a risk in terms of the kids becoming attached (unless the dog IS the one ), but putting emphasis on the fact you are just trying it out before doing anything may help.

pug_

That sounds like a great idea VonVix. I didn't even know it was an option. Where would I find out about fostering a dog, and how long would we be expected to foster for (ballpark)?

pbthevet

As is allways the case the dog is gonna be dumped on you in a few months. So base descisions on that.

Walking the dog tho is a brillient excuse to get excersise tho!

Aimeee

What about your wife where does she stand on being the main dog person as I'm guessing that is what's likely to happen if she is home more than you.
Is she OK with a dog in the house?
Your post makes complete sense by the way.
Best of luck with it.

VonVix

pug_ wrote: »

That sounds like a great idea VonVix. I didn't even know it was an option. Where would I find out about fostering a dog, and how long would we be expected to foster for (ballpark)?

Most rescues are looking for foster families, many dogs get stressed in a kennel environment if they were always used to a home.

Where are you based? Someone here or myself could PM you the names/contact info for good rescues in your area.

I'd give you a ballpark figure but as I've never fostered I wouldn't have a clue! I think it largely depends on the interest in the dog. A small dog may have more interest than a larger dog, so the fostering term may be longer/shorter in that respect.

pug_

Aimeee wrote: »

What about your wife where does she stand on being the main dog person as I'm guessing that is what's likely to happen if she is home more than you.
Is she OK with a dog in the house?
Your post makes complete sense by the way.
Best of luck with it.

My wife is one of the main instigators. She has been showing me photos of dogs in animal shelters for the last few years trying to convince me with their cuteness, it's almost worked a few times too

pug_

VonVix wrote: »

Most rescues are looking for foster families, many dogs get stressed in a kennel environment if they were always used to a home.

Where are you based? Someone here or myself could PM you the names/contact info for good rescues in your area.

I'd give you a ballpark figure but as I've never fostered I wouldn't have a clue! I think it largely depends on the interest in the dog. A small dog may have more interest than a larger dog, so the fostering term may be longer/shorter in that respect.

Thanks VonVix, I'd appreciate that. We're based in Kildare.

VonVix

pug_ wrote: »

Thanks VonVix, I'd appreciate that. We're based in Kildare.

PM sent.

Aimeee

pug_ wrote: »

My wife is one of the main instigators. She has been showing me photos of dogs in animal shelters for the last few years trying to convince me with their cuteness, it's almost worked a few times too

Excellent idea to foster a dog, everyone gets the experience and a taste of what life would be like.
I only ask about your wife as a few friends of mine got dogs, kids wanted them etc but the reality of having a dog in the house was too much for them.
Best of luck with it.

Tranceypoo

Fostering sounds like the perfect option for you and it's great you're putting so much thought into it and not just giving into the kids and getting a cute puppy (which happens an awful lot)

On a personal note I'm delighted you're going for a rescue dog, there's an epidemic of over breeding and dumping dogs in this country so every one rescued makes a difference. Let us know how you get on OP

sillysmiles

What age are your kids?
I think so long as you are aware of the work involved ( depending on your kids age) it is possible to make certain aspects of looking after a dog the responsibility of the kids. This would mean that you would need to be responsible to oversee that it is done but not necessarily have to do everything.
Maybe a clear family chat about the various aspects of looking after a dog and who is going to take care of all the different jobs?

aonb

PM sent!

Just to give the whole family an idea of what is involved, do out a chart of all the activities required in keeping a dog as an indoors pet such as feeding, grooming, playing, cleaning, picking up the poop from the garden, walking etc.
Assign the activities to the family (excluding yourself since you will be paying for its upkeep). See how the family react to that.
Fostering a dog is a great idea but make sure it's clear that it is a temporary assignment as a trial before taking on a pet which you will be responsible for the next 15 odd years.
Having a dog in the home can be an extremely rewarding experience for the whole family. Your reluctance is probably a good sign of how seriously you are taking this and how you are considering all the facts before making such a commitment.
Getting a dog was the best decision I ever made and has made a big difference to one of my kids who has aspergers. Our dog is like having a 6th child.

ShaShaBear

Ballpark, depending on the rescue, is however long you would like. Every dog in a foster home makes space for another dog fresh out of the pound. Any rescue worth their salt will be delighted you are volunteering to foster and even more delighted because you are making sure you want a dog before you adopt. Most, if not all of them, will supply you with a lead, collar, food, a bed (sometimes a crate as well) and all their veterinary care is covered. So, in essense, you get a free try-before-you-adopt dog. It is not only a great way to test things out in the house, but also a great way of coming across a breed or character type that suits.

Example, we have a foster whippet here. She's been here for almost a month now, but is going to the UK to a breed-specific rescue next Sunday. I have learned from this that they are a fantastic breed, but one or two of Lindy's traits make her unsuitable for my home (although she wasn't to be adopted anyway, it makes for a good example). She is great with children and people, very loving and affectionate and so polite on the lead and in the car. BUT she refuses to go outside if the weather is bad, to the point of growling if you try to persuade her (and as a result we have had a few accidents on a carpeted floor) and she has broken several plates, a large bowl and our slow cooker from pulling things off the counter and out of the sink ( we don't have a dishwasher or much storage space, so things are always going to be left out).

Another important thing to be aware of is that dogs from a rescue environment that have not been fostered can come out of their shell and become their true selves in a new home, which could be a totally different dog to the one you agreed to take home. Fostering lets you discover a dog's true self before making any potentially regrettable committments

susanlinda823

I think the responsibility is going to fall on you. Although I do believe that getting a dog is an excellent way to get some exercise within the family. If you dont stick to it than you just have a restless dog and an angry family.