Disillusioned with guys and dating

LegacyUser

Hi everyone. Just find myself in a strange situation at the moment and maybe someone here has insight that I'm missing
I'm 26 and a few weeks ago I met a guy on a night out in a different area to where I'm from. We got on quite well, kissed and I gave him my number. He has texted me on numerous occasiona over the past couple of weeks and I have initiates the texting on two occasions.
When we text, we seem to get on well, have lots to talk about and have lots in common. Last weekend we were texting and I told him I had become ill (nothing serious) and had a short hospital stay. For about 4 hours that evening he was texting me pictures, jokes and generally trying to cheer me up, which I thought was nice of him. He had an event on the Sunday and I wished him good luck on the Saturday night and to let me know how it went.
I got a message and a picture from him on the Sunday relating to the event but I was asleep so I texted him Monday morning. There was a few messages and in the last message I asked him a simple question and I have heard nothing since.
To be honest I don't know if I'm a little bit hurt, surprised or both. I have sort of given up on hearing from him at this stage because we haven't gone this long without contact before. I guess I am just finding it hard to understand why a guy would mske such an effort to "get me smiling" as he said himself and then nothing from him after all this. I am 26 and I think or like to think I know if I get on well with someone and we seemed to get on well. I have been single for 10 months after being hurt by a guy and I guess I had looked on this as my opportunity to maybe go on a date and see where things went. I had been on a self-imposed break from guys for the last few months.
Obviously I know now he isn't interested but I can't help feeling disillusioned at the amount of effort he went into on Saturday to "cheer me up" as it were and now hearing nothing at all. If we struggled for things to talk about or whatever I don't think I'd mind. I don't know what I'm looking for here really, I guess I'm just confused at it all. Maybe I'm looking for reasons that aren't there over why he has just stopped contact. I know he was in a tricky work situation a few weeks ago but I don't know how that could be a reason.

Buona Fortuna

Hi Disallusioned

Have you ruled out the obvious and mundane:

• phone fault, out of credit, phone lost, phone stolen, a/c problems
• is he around? Does he travel for his job? Things come up.
• Any problems with his relatives?

If the answer to these is don't know, I'd just ring him (if I was female obviously). That way you'll know one way or tuther.

All the best OP

LLMMML

I think the main problem here is the texting. It was a few weeks of no face-to-face contact. In all the numerous cases I read on here of somebody suddenly losing interest it's usually an internet or text based relationship with few face-to-face meetings. I wouldn't lose interet in dating, just try not to invest in text flirting. Make sure there's actual physical meetings as well.

retro:electro

I guess it all hangs on the question you asked him and why it was he didn't reply.. If it was a something like so where do you see this heading and then you hear nothing for days, well I think that says a lot.

LegacyUser

Op here. Thanks for the replies. The question I asked was something very trivial, nothing about where we were going or what was going to happen with us. I had a feeling we might meet up this week coming as we both have a few days off work and there is over an hour of a distance between us. He had hinted at this in messages without saying anything outright.
I think I'm just baffled at why someone would make such an effort to "cheer me up" as it were and then when I ask a simple, trivial question relating to an injury he had, not even reply. I thought we has lots to talk about, things in common and there was some flirting on both sides. If the texting was hard or we didn't have a lot to say this wouldn't bother me but it does when you seem to be getting on with someone quite well and then out of nowhere the texting stops.
I think this is the latest in a long line of feeling baffled/messed around by guys. The last guy I was seeing over a year ago was going out with someone the whole time and I only found out through friends. Before that there was a few first or 2nd dates and nothing else.
I'm probably just overly down after this latest occurence as it comes after a few before. I'm told I am attractive, with a good personality, honest, down to earth and I just haven't had much success when it comes to guys. This situation no different. I still have no idea why I haven't heard from him, if he didn't want to be texting me surely he wouldn't have spent two nights previously looking through his phone/online for things to make me laugh and spent about 5 hours texting me to make sure I was ok. Anyway I guess I'll never know. Just thought somebody here might have insight to it all that I'm missing.

Payton

Ring him....if he doesn't answer and goes to voice mail leave a message not a needy one and if he doesn't answer move on. Texting is fine at the start to break the ice.

Payton

Ring him....if he doesn't answer and goes to voice mail leave a message not a needy one and if he doesn't answer move on. Texting is fine at the start to break the ice.

Saipanne

Is he the same age as you? Maybe you could try older guys, if you want more maturity? Just an idea.

strobe

I rememeber there was a girl about four years ago there, living in different counties, been out once and were just texting back and forth the week after, didn't hear from here for a few days after a text I'd sent her, didn't think much of it, just that she was busy or whatever. Happened to run into her and a couple of her friends out the following Friday, said hi and they gave me the cold shoulder. Can't be doing with that so left them to it. Ended up at the bar at same time as one of the friends a little later and same thing, started to chat and she told me I was a bit of a prick the way I'd just stopped replying to *Jen. Apparently she hadn't got the last message I'd sent her so decided I was an
asshole and was ignoring her...

Why don't you just text the guy.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I'd like to reiterate what the above posters have said - send one text, something casual, chit chat/how's things. If he doesn't reply you can be certain you have your answer. If he does, leave the ball in his court and let him show his interest.

A few months ago I would have said just write him off. I, like you, have had plenty of crap luck, as have so many of my friends, so I could be called cynical.

Like above, I recently had a guy not reply to one of my texts, was really upset as we'd been talking daily for weeks and it just didn't make sense. After a couple of days, I texted him just asking how he was. The reply 'Hey stranger, thought something was up when you never texted me back.' As wonderful as technology is, sometimes a message does get lost. It's definitely the exception, but it can happen. Given it seems so out of the blue, and you clearly like the guy, just send a text. You literally have nothing to lose, and it's better to have your answer.

Good luck OP.

Candy_Girl

Maybe he's lost his phone or lost all his phone numbers (happened to me before) just ring him and you'll know either way.