Will this feeling ever go away?

LegacyUser

My ex and I broke up over a year ago, there isn't a lot I can say on that other than it just didn't work out as they no longer had feelings for me anymore. There were no fights, no cheating, no nastiness. I guess that makes it worse somewhat as there are no ill feelings on either side, I can't say "I deserve better than someone that would do something like that" because they never done anything wrong to me.

When we broke up I of course was devastated, I had never felt anything like it before. I guess I done all of the things you're supposed to do after a break up to build yourself back up(not intentionally because of that, it's just how things worked out). I am in a really good place in every other way in my life, I have gotten to a place where I am genuinely happy with everything I have going on but this still weighs down on my from time to time.

I used to be upset about it, really upset every single day but as time has gone on now I only feel badly about it once a week but even that at this stage is too much for me as I feel I should be over it completely by now and I want to be, I just don't know how.

No matter how happy I am for the rest of the week, one day it hits me out of nowhere and I feel like I'm back to square one and I haven't made any progress what so ever. I know I should be grateful I don't feel this way every day anymore but it feels worse now as though I am this idiot still not over a relationship which ended over a year ago. I just get so upset because I never wanted the relationship to end, they made me so happy and I know they are a great person, it upsets me that I'm not good enough for this person and that I couldn't make them happy.

I know some will say to get over someone is to get on top of somebody else but I can't do that nor do I want to. I have gone on dates at the request of friends and have even been physical with other people, those were just distractions and I couldn't feel anything for either of them, I almost feel as though that part of me that could feel is gone except for when I am missing or am upset about my ex.

I'm really at my whits end here and would appreciate it if any of you could give me some advice. I will do anything for this feeling to go away once and for all so I will be grateful for any replies.

SkyBlueClouds

Hi OP,

I beleive councelling would be helpful to you in allowing you to explore these feelings and get a better handle on them with someone trained to help you do so.

There is someone out there for everyone, you sound like a nice, decent person and i'm sure someone will come along soon who you'll click with

Focus on the positves that you once had in your relationship. Look at ways to 'frame' it in a different light so the anger and upset dissapates. I know its a cliche but time is a great healer.

Good luck.

Rubberchikken

You're grieving and it's going to take time.
Counselling might help, even just to talk things out with someone.

Good luck

Wompa1

It took me a few years to get over an ex, but it does go away. Unfortunately, the old cliche is true. Time is the best heeler but that time is so painful!!

fnietzsche

WantThisFeelingToEnd wrote: »

My ex and I broke up over a year ago, there isn't a lot I can say on that other than it just didn't work out as they no longer had feelings for me anymore. There were no fights, no cheating, no nastiness. I guess that makes it worse somewhat as there are no ill feelings on either side, I can't say "I deserve better than someone that would do something like that" because they never done anything wrong to me.

When we broke up I of course was devastated, I had never felt anything like it before. I guess I done all of the things you're supposed to do after a break up to build yourself back up(not intentionally because of that, it's just how things worked out). I am in a really good place in every other way in my life, I have gotten to a place where I am genuinely happy with everything I have going on but this still weighs down on my from time to time.

I used to be upset about it, really upset every single day but as time has gone on now I only feel badly about it once a week but even that at this stage is too much for me as I feel I should be over it completely by now and I want to be, I just don't know how.

No matter how happy I am for the rest of the week, one day it hits me out of nowhere and I feel like I'm back to square one and I haven't made any progress what so ever. I know I should be grateful I don't feel this way every day anymore but it feels worse now as though I am this idiot still not over a relationship which ended over a year ago. I just get so upset because I never wanted the relationship to end, they made me so happy and I know they are a great person, it upsets me that I'm not good enough for this person and that I couldn't make them happy.

I know some will say to get over someone is to get on top of somebody else but I can't do that nor do I want to. I have gone on dates at the request of friends and have even been physical with other people, those were just distractions and I couldn't feel anything for either of them, I almost feel as though that part of me that could feel is gone except for when I am missing or am upset about my ex.

I'm really at my whits end here and would appreciate it if any of you could give me some advice. I will do anything for this feeling to go away once and for all so I will be grateful for any replies.

hello it depends on gender and age and disposition as to the best way to handle this. i am not boosting but i am the master of being detached from people. if you can give me more information i will be able to help you

LegacyUser

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

I have gone to and finished counselling for other personal issues in the past year and when speaking about this to the counselor, they told me was that I was heartbroken and there wasn't anything I could do but wait as some of you have said time is the greatest healer.

At this stage I feel I will never be completely over it, I don't think about it all the time and in so doing ensuring that I never get over it. It's that once a week, nothing triggers it but it hits me hard and it makes matters worse that I then get frustrated for still feeling this way when so much time has passed.

I know it is great to not feel like this everyday and I am very grateful for that, I just wish I felt ok about it all the time. I'll keep focusing on the good things in life and hopefully it will pass soon. That is all I can do

Wompa1

WantThisFeelingToEnd wrote: »

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

I have gone to and finished counselling for other personal issues in the past year and when speaking about this to the counselor, they told me was that I was heartbroken and there wasn't anything I could do but wait as some of you have said time is the greatest healer.

At this stage I feel I will never be completely over it, I don't think about it all the time and in so doing ensuring that I never get over it. It's that once a week, nothing triggers it but it hits me hard and it makes matters worse that I then get frustrated for still feeling this way when so much time has passed.

I know it is great to not feel like this everyday and I am very grateful for that, I just wish I felt ok about it all the time. I'll keep focusing on the good things in life and hopefully it will pass soon. That is all I can do

Don't worry thinking about the other person will become less and less frequent. It's terrible to go through but you'll be grand! Don't worry about it

Buona Fortuna

Hi OP

I think someone said above that - you are grieving. That was my first thought when I read your first post.

I think it would help you, maybe just a little, if you didn't get upset about being upset. If you can accept that every so often you will miss your ex and its natural to get upset. Just go with it and allow time to heal.

I wish you all the very best OP;)