This guy has me headwrecked.. advice please

katti

Ok. So I've been dating (for want of a better word) a guy for almost three months. In the beginning it was very casual. So casual that I knew he had seen other people. I wasn't bothered as I was fighting my demons from a recent long term breakup.
We then became exclusive at his request. I started to really like him.
We spend a lot of time together. Maybe too much too soon.
We work completely different shift patterns. Me during the day and him at night. This is usually 6 days/nights a week so we have fallen into a habit of him coming to mine after work and we'll spend a few hours together and then have some bed time.
He is however mister hot and cold and I can't cope. When wwe're together he can't seem to ti get enough of me. We kiss, cuddle and sleep wrapped around each other. When were apart I hear nothing from him and I mean nothing. He was away for two weeks a little while ago and I didn't have so much as a text. His defence being he's not a great texter and when he gets one if he's busy/distracted it winds him up. The same goes for phone calls
This week he was dogsitting for a family friend and I didn't hear from him once. Yet id see him having a random drink with a mutual friend here and there. I don't know if I'm being a bit of a princess but I like him and would like to see him out of the house now and again and lately that doesn't seem to happen.
Im not sure if this is my insecurity or if he's just not that into me. I was used to being treated a certain way in my previous relationship which on paper was perfect and this doesn't come close. Im just not sure of I'm better off cutting my losses now or waiting to see. Help please.

LegacyUser

It's possibly just the kind of person he is. Some people are not good at keeping in contact and if you're not directly in front of them you won't even cross their mind. There's nothing wrong with that, but it probably makes you two incompatible.

DukeOfTheSharp

The different shift pattern thing makes things difficult, but he really should be making an effort to contact you when you're not together, just to touch base. The heading off to places without telling you is a good enough reason as any to take him to task over it. What you're looking for is to be treated with consideration and respect, that's not a bad thing. You really need to talk to him and press the issue that this is important to you, and he could make some concessions in the case of replying to texts or making calls when he isn't 'busy' (nobody is busy 24/7). Outside of that, if he still makes too many excuses, leave. Though he does seem to be making far too many excuses already, but having a serious talk wouldn't hurt - but after three months, it's better to figure out if you're incompatible with someone than three years.

Laois6556

.

miamee

If you haven't already you need to explain to him that you feel he is blowing hot and cold when he is all over you when you're together then can't be bothered to even send a text when not in your company. If he is still huffing and puffing about the effort of a text message then you two are clearly not compatible - you value a bit of contact and courtesy whereas he is happy to see you when he sees you with nothing in between - he seems to happy with a very casual approach to the relationship.

Mr. Incognito

Nothing at all? Married / gf?

Oryx

When you're together, you kiss and cuddle and have 'bed time'. When he isn't doing that with you, he doesn't contact you at all? It sounds more like a convenient physical thing for him, rather than an actual relationship. It just doesn't sound great to me at all, more like a booty call arrangement.