Grand venue v GRAND venue

Sherlof3

Hi all, my OH are stuck between two venues, and can't seem to decide. We are getting married in France - and my choice is a gorgeous chateau at the centre of things, but his is a smaller more relaxed venue.
My OH has a lot of elderly relations and it seems like our wedding venue choice is being dictated by the number and quality of toilets. I don't want to be a princess about it so really open to comments - here are the pros and cons:

Chateau 1 (my choice)
Pros

Beautiful and stunning reception
Near big town and other attractions
Impressive venue
Keep guests intrigued - cocktail on the lawn, dinner in the bar, desert in the Orchard, dancing in a 16th century theatre
Caterer has longstanding arrangement with venue
Venue has been doing wedding for years
More fitting for formal black tie wedding (which OH wants)
English speaker on hand

Cons
More expensive €4K
No accomodation
Unappealing toilets
Toilets far away from cocktail
Alternative accomodation required
Not actually in the castle itself

Chateau 2 (OH's choice)

Pros
Comfortable venue
Relaxed atmosphere
Lovely scenic views
Beautiful accomodation rooms
€4k cheaper
Nice bathrooms and function room

Cons
No caterer quote/known
Have only started doing weddings
Far from lively places
Hosts don't speak English ( I do speak French)
Further for suppliers to travel
Outdoor area looks a bit run down

whiskeyman

Seems odd that the toilets are unappealing, as the rest of OPtion 1 sounds great.
What's the problem exactly?
Are they not looked after? Or perhaps it's because venue is so old?
Could you request improvements on them perhaps, as tell them you'd be v interesting in making a booking if this happened.
Does Option 1 have nearby accomodation?

I think you need to 'weight' which ones are really the important ones for you and make a decision from that.
For example, accomodation was pretty much a No.1 for us, and we didn't even consider venues where it wouldn't work.

Sherlof3

Hi Whiskeyman thanks for your feedback.

Toilets are just a bit dingy and plain, like maybe the loos in a community centre and seem a bit at odds with the venue. They are a good uphill walk away from the cocktail hour. Venue are limited with adding toilets as it is a listed venue - so offered to put on a golf cart for the older people. I'm happy with this arrangement, but OH is not. Yes found a house for 40 of us to stay for the week before the wedding, 15 minutes away. There are a lot of other options nearby for anyonr just for one night or the weekend. I don't want to be unreasonable and go on like 'Oh but it's my dream venue screw everyone else', but at the same time there are only three old people coming so we can take care of them. They are obviously very important to OH, but at the same time it's my wedding day? Just want to be reasonable!

hoodwinked

i would say option 2,

on the day you won't want to be dealing with facilities being less than perfect

plus you say he cons are :

More expensive €4K

(that 4k could pay for a lot more)

No accomodation

(when you are exhausted at the end of the night you will not want to do more than crawl upstairs and sleep) plus it means if there is on site accomodation you can pop to your room if you need a rest or to get something.)

Unappealing toilets, Toilets far away from cocktail

if/when you are in your beautiful white dress and after all that water/wine you will probably drink, do you want to be treking all the way to some awful unappealing toilet? and be all worried about your dress getting destroyed? it's not glamourous but it is a necessary function

Alternative accomodation required

again the costs involved in this again, plus the lack of easy access to your room will become hassle you don't want or need on the day. but that is just my opinion.

Not actually in the castle itself

then in all honesty,what is the point? why get married in a castle that is not in a castle?

also i would wonder what if it is raining? surely you'd want the inside to be as beautiful as the outside, if the outside of b is looking a bit run down you could ask them to spruce it up, the 4k you are saving could go a long way into decorations...etc

pwurple

Lack of access to proper toilets would be a dealbreaker for me I'm afraid! I've relatives who need quick access to the loo with medical issues, and I'd hate to think of them getting stressed out, or embarressed, or worse... an accident if toilets were not nearby.

Wouldn't even consider option 1 if loo was substandard or tricky to access.

And having a wedding party at a castle, with no access to the actual castle is just asking for disappointment as well.

option 2 sounds really lovely.

Milly33

Just from first glance I would go Option 2, you may have to tell him his right

thejaguar

Option 2 for me - accommodation & toilets are major factors.

In fairness, people will probably be more likely to remember the wedding if the castle is really spectacular. But for older guests - having access to toilets and accommodation that's close by is pretty important.

If you're asking people to travel to France, then you should do your best to make sure they are comfortable and relaxed to enjoy your day.

cactusgal

thejaguar wrote: »

Option 2 for me - accommodation & toilets are major factors.

If you're asking people to travel to France, then you should do your best to make sure they are comfortable and relaxed to enjoy your day.

This. Destination weddings are a huge ask, especially for older guests. If you're already asking them to travel abroad, make their experience as easy and as comfortable as possible.

Sligo1

I think the cleanliness and hygiene of the toilets and bathroom facilities actually say a lot about the cleanliness and hygiene of the rest of the place.... I.e. Kitchen etc...

D3PO

Sherlof3 wrote: »

Chateau 2 (OH's choice)

Pros
Comfortable venue
Relaxed atmosphere
Lovely scenic views
Beautiful accomodation rooms
€4k cheaper
Nice bathrooms and function room

Cons
No caterer quote/known

Not really a con, just some work for you to do to get quotes

Have only started doing weddings

Why is this a con. Your hiring outside caterers etc who will have experience so its not really relevent.

Far from lively places

Unless you plan on going clubbing afterwards why is this a con ?

Hosts don't speak English ( I do speak French)

You speak french so its not a con, and if its really a big issue you can easily higher a translator for a pittance from the 4k your saving

Further for suppliers to travel

Thats the supplies worry not yours so again not a con unless they are charging you an extortionate rate to travel.

Outdoor area looks a bit run down

Only legitimate con I see, but then again when in the year did you view it and when in the year are you planning on getting married this may have an impact, also how much time do you intend on spending outside ?

Even with the great weather you may get your really not going to be spending that much time outside of the drinks reception there so unless its impact is on the quality of the photos its perhaps something you can get over.

My comments attached. Personally option 1 sounds fantastic, but option 2 sounds waaaaay more practical hence why I keyed in on the cons you posted for that. Oh and it sonds liek a lovely venue aswell anyway

I think for both venues the first port of call is dialogue. Maybe a call to the venue manager of option 1 to let them know about your concern with the toilet facilities might yield some results.

Either by them doing some sort of refurb or supply some of those luxury portaloos which would suffice. I know that sounds tacky and very festival like but there are portaloos available that look top notch not your standard green plastic crappy things. Of course thats likely to come at a cost.

Re option 2 perhaps telling them of your concerns of the outfoor area may allow them address it. Youd be surprised what a bit of weed and feed and a good watering can do to bring a lawn back to life in no time.

Its a balancing act, it is your day ultimately and do what you want, but you guys are already imposing on your guests quite a bit ie. having them travel abroad and having them go to the expense of black tie. Do you really want to impost the awkwardness of a trek to the toilets for elderly guests and having to trek off to seperate accomadation when things end aswell ?

I really think your OH is right here. Option 2 sounds like the one.

Sherlof3

Thanks all for your comments - OH definetly has a point with venue 2. THinking about it, I had suggested that as we only have 3 elderly guests (everyone else is under 55) so we could really make sure they were looked after in venue one.

My head says venue 2 but my heart still loves the bigger castle. I am happy to go with venue 2 but don't want to feel disappointed on my wedding day. Should I just get over myself?

Pistachios & cream

Maybe look for another venue? It sounds like you want some wow factor from your venue so if you are not getting it for the 2nd choice maybe look elsewhere.

IMO the first venue has too many negatives which will impact on your guests to be feasible. Bad toilets will ruin a black tie reception

Milly33

As Hayes said maybe look around at a few more places...Where abouts are ye looking maybe someone can suggest a few places.. I know we had a few that we both had different thoughts about but the one we picked on the day was like wow we both love it..