Employment

LegacyUser

What’s people opinions on their partners who don’t work? Does/has it put strain on your relationship? I’m not talking about people who unfortunately lost their jobs and can’t find a new one but those who never bothered to look since out of school/college & are happy picking up their dole once a week. I’ve recently broke up with my partner due to them not working or even attempting to find employment. It put huge pressure on our relationship & I got to the point I was fed up having someone so dependent on me, paying for everything, being asked why I am I going to sleep at 12am, no understanding of house shares & being annoyed when I wanted time to myself. I think a job is necessary for both parties in a relationship, unless there is kids on the scene. Job satisfaction is worth it, not to forget the responsibility and independence it brings. Not to mention the better possibilities for the future with two incomes.

So gentlemen, have you ever been in a relationship where your partner has never worked and if so how did it work out for you? If you haven’t, could you ever see a future if this was the case?

Playboy

My OH doesnt work but thats our joint choice. Childcare is so expensive in London that it wouldnt make financial sense for her to work and we would have the added stress of trying to jointly look after the house and drop our son off to nursery. Luckily I earn enough so we both can be fairly comfortable but its tough on her not having that adult interaction every day and looking after a young baby/toddler and taking care of the home is tough work, I wouldn't want to do it!

LegacyUser

Hi if that was my situation I would be the same as yourselves as crèche expenses are ridiculous & it would make financial sense for one of parents to stay at home. I’m more on about going out with someone for 1/2/3 years and they never trying to get a job, happily living off the dole and waiting at home all day for you to arrive home from work. Has it worked for people or does it put stress into the relationship. I hope my previous post didn’t come across as arrogant as I didn’t mean people who lost their jobs or had a family to support at home. I just think in this day in age if the couple don’t have children then both people should work or at least try to find employment, maybe I’m being a **** but was wondering what other people’s opinions on it and if they could see a future in this instance

skallywag

It's fair enough in my book along as the OH does not expect to be dipping into your own salary to finance themselves (exception of course to be made for those who take a joint decision for the OH to look after offspring)

Gael23

Entirely depends on a familys individual circumstances. It might work best for one person not to work

Pawwed Rig

I would not have anything in common with someone who had no professional goal or aspirations taking the OPs exceptions aside. I have worked hard in life and would resent someone coasting

pwurple

Would not find someone like that attractive to be honest. How did you even get into the situation of giving them money? Seems weird to me.

iptba

Some data from a US study

Young: What women still want in a husband

September 30, 2014 10:06 AM By CATHY YOUNG

[..]

An analysis from the Pew Research Center showing that a record number of American adults 25 and older have never been married would seem to support the concerns. Census data from 2012 show that 23 percent of men and 17 percent of women never married, up from 17 percent and 12 percent in 2000.

[..]

Where women are at their most traditional is in what they are looking for in a potential spouse. The overwhelming majority -- 78 percent -- said a steady job was "very important" in a potential spouse, outweighing even "similar ideas about having and raising children" (70 percent). Only 46 percent of never-married men said a steady job was very important in a future marriage partner.

http://www.newsday.com/opinion/columnists/cathy-young/what-women-still-want-in-a-husband-cathy-young-1.9437289

fits

The US where there is no maternity leave, and no welfare, and no healthcare unless you are wealthy. That US?

P_1

As someone who unfortunately has to make the soul destroying weekly visit to the post office I'm not actively seeking a relationship purely for the reason that I wouldn't want to make myself a burden on someone. Now I wouldn't look down on somebody else in a similar position (it would be a bit rich of me to do so seeing as I'm on the same hull) but I'd agree with the OP in not wanting a relationship with somebody who isn't trying to get work.

If they're not working as a consequence of either the economic situation, injury, it not making financial sense because of kids or them being in the fortunate position of not needing to work for money then it's a much different matter.

seanaway

I've been waiting on a DSP decision for payment for 12 weeks or so. In that time I've spent from 9.10am - 4.00pm 5 days a week looking for waork. IMO my full time job was to find a full time job - or two if I had to. Hundreds of emails/phone calls and many interviews later I have been offered ajob.

My other half has been an absolute brick and supported me with her salary all this time. I didn't like it but it was the situation we found ourselves in. That *ANYONE* would sponge off their significant other (and the taxpaying public)and not even bother to look leaves me sick. You are better off without someone who won't work.

Different when both decide it is better to have one salary or when one cant work. But to CHOOSE not to work! Nah, they are a waste of oxygen. Move on and find someone who will appreciate you.