Wedding Favour or Donation?

Spicy123

Hi everyone

I'm getting married next year and I am looking into the whole idea of Wedding Favours. I feel like it's an absolute waste of money and can be awfully tacky. I came up with the idea of making a charitable donation to the Irish Heart Foundation or to the Cancer Society which both organisations cater for and supply with nice cards letting guest know that's what you have done.
I've asked my partner what he thinks and he reckons it's morbid and a friend of mine said she likes getting something at a Wedding and keeps everything from them, including menus.
Does anyone have any views or opinions on this? Is it morbid? Or should I do nothing at all?

lazygal

I don't like the charity favours route. If you want to donate to a charity of your choice, go ahead. But not everyone wants to donate to that charity and may not want a donation in their name.
We didn't have favours but we made a charitable donation with some of our wedding money received as gifts and some friends also donated as their gift to us. But we didn't feel the need to draw attention to the fact with charity keyrings or trolley fobs. I keep nothing from weddings and I think most if not all favours, charity or otherwise, are a waste of money.

pooch90

I don't like the donations personally. If your partner thinks it's morbid then surely it's a non-runner?
Both of our fathers had died from cancer before our wedding, if we were going to do a donation we would have done it directly to a local hospital/ward/hospice and not a national one.
I'd rather a toast drink tbh.

Liam McPoyle

Myself and my o/h are thinking of making a donation to the Irish Cancer Society as it's very close to both our hearts, don't reckon it will be the traditional favours though what ever we decide.

If your hubby is worried about it been too maudlin how about getting all guest something like a €1 scratch card and then matching what ever that costs and donating it?

I wa at a wedding before that made a donation to Barretstown and for each person there was a little lapel pin of an angel. 'Twas very well received and IMO most people don't expect favours nowadays anyway.

Spicy123

lazygal wrote: »

I don't like the charity favours route. If you want to donate to a charity of your choice, go ahead. But not everyone wants to donate to that charity and may not want a donation in their name.
We didn't have favours but we made a charitable donation with some of our wedding money received as gifts and some friends also donated as their gift to us. But we didn't feel the need to draw attention to the fact with charity keyrings or trolley fobs. I keep nothing from weddings and I think most if not all favours, charity or otherwise, are a waste of money.

I would tend to agree with it being a waste of money. My partner wants to do it though and I guess I'm trying to find something I'm comfortable with doing.

lazygal

Spicy123 wrote: »

I would tend to agree with it being a waste of money. My partner wants to do it though and I guess I'm trying to find something I'm comfortable with doing.

If you think its tacky and he thinks its morbid I'd just buy everyone a drink and call that a favour. They'll appreciate a lot more than cheap chocolate in an organza bag or a trolley token.

donegaldude

We gave a donation to Crumlin hospital instead of favours. I was treated there for years when I was wee, and all my family appreciated the thinking behind it. They did up little cards for us which did for me was perfect.

I'd rather money go somewhere worthwhile rather than on bags of seeds for example, which we got at the last wedding we were at.

Typer Monkey

I think favours are going out of fashion anyway. I haven't seen them at weddings for a good few years now. I honestly don't think people notice when they're not there.

pwurple

Skip the favours. Not been done for ages, those were for celtic tiger weddings.

Broken Strings

I'm doing favours for mine but I haven't decided what to do yet. They will be a bit different from sugared almonds or a small piece of chocolate though.

I've never been to a wedding that doesn't have them, I only attended a wedding 2 weeks ago which had table favours for everyone. Maybe it's a fluke I didn't realise that it wasn't the done thing anymore.

Sala

I like the idea of a donation. Favours are nice but most could take or leave them- no one will be terribly upset if there isn't any

Wabbit Ears

I absolutely abhor people making Donations on my behalf. I could go into a mad rant as to why it boil's my blood but its not the place. All I can say is, don't do it!!

whiskeyman

This debate has been done a lot here.
I'll add my tuppance:

Unless *you* really want to, I wouldn't bother with favours due to the cost and time.
No one really gives a damn to be honest, and I;ve been to so many weddings where I've seen favours left on tables and scattered on the floor at the end of the night.
As for the donations, that's fine... but I personally find it tacky leaving a card on the table.
'oh, you've donated to charity?? well done you!!!'
If you donate instead of favours, don't go looking for kudos. Just donate.

Meathlass

pwurple wrote: »

Skip the favours. Not been done for ages, those were for celtic tiger weddings.

I was at 5 weddings last year - not a single one had favours. I don't think it's really done anymore.

At one, where the bride was a nurse in Crumlin, they had a small card on the table saying a donation had been made to the Children's hosptial in lieu of favours. No body mentioned it, or thought it was weird. I'd say most people didn't even see the card.

Sala

Spicy123 wrote: »

Hi everyone

I'm getting married next year and I am looking into the whole idea of Wedding Favours. I feel like it's an absolute waste of money and can be awfully tacky. I came up with the idea of making a charitable donation to the Irish Heart Foundation or to the Cancer Society which both organisations cater for and supply with nice cards letting guest know that's what you have done.
I've asked my partner what he thinks and he reckons it's morbid and a friend of mine said she likes getting something at a Wedding and keeps everything from them, including menus.
Does anyone have any views or opinions on this? Is it morbid? Or should I do nothing at all?

I personally don't think it's morbid. I think it's a nice idea and if you got some of the cards your friend could keep that. I did hear of someone who made a donation to a pro life campaign and the guests weren't terribly happy it was in their name, but yours are not controversial. Plus, I don't think most people are terribly concerned about getting anything these days so do what you want, and don't spend money on favours you don't want to buy

Toots

You can buy charity pins etc and not have to put down that a donation was made in anyone's name. If you're looking for something slightly less 'morbid' I know the ISPCA used to do little pins in the shape of cats and dogs for wedding favours. Not sure if they still do them anymore. Do any charities do scratch cards?

mrsbyrne

What is your objective in leaving "favours" or charitable donations on the table? Do you think that your guests are really surprised and delighted to get a keyfob or a piece of chocolate, or are you just checking off a list of "to do" items?
Much better to buy everyone a drink or add another few cocktail sausages to the evening snacks.

salmocab

If you want to make a donation to a good cause do it no need to tell people about it, if you want to leave something on the table because you feel you should then maybe something useful like a trivial pursuit card on each place setting, can be used as a great icebreaker for guests who are seated with people they don't know. However the reality is that most people won't even notice or think about favors as they are pretty pointless.

fits

I didn't even know such a thing as favours existed until I started planning my own. They were given out at various weddings I was at, in hindsight, but never even registered with me. Needless to say, not doing it.

Redser87

We're not doing favours. Don't think there's any need, and anyone who is snotty about it is probably not our nearest and dearest anyway. Do them if you think it would add to the atmosphere or be a talking point, but I prefer a couple of the ideas here for putting people at ease.
Certainly, I would not think of donating on people's behalf. I think that true charity happens when nobody is watching, and I would worry that by donating to the Irish Cancer Society or such that you might catch someone off guard and trigger all sorts of memories/ fears that you know nothing about. Certainly they are not controversial charities, but for the comfort of guests I think it's best just to leave it.

foreverandever

I actually think donations are a lovely idea, especially if you have one that's close to both of you. Weddings are expensive and it can be nice to remember people less well off and people in need. I definitely wouldn't be offended if someone made a donation on my behalf

Sligo1

foreverandever wrote: »

I actually think donations are a lovely idea, especially if you have one that's close to both of you. Weddings are expensive and it can be nice to remember people less well off and people in need. I definitely wouldn't be offended if someone made a donation on my behalf

I do agree with this point... Most definitely. But why do people feel the need to tell the guests about it or put a card on the table saying it? Just do it and don't make a big "o I donated to such and such a charity". It just screams... "Look at how great and generous and kind we are".

Also IMO... Favours are a waste. Why on earth would guests get snotty if there are none at the table??? Not enough to worry about maybe? If it's something the B&G want to do than fair enough. But don't do it because of this ridiculous notion that guests may get snotty...

As another poster said... An extra few cocktail sausages or a drink IMO would be much more appreciated...

893bet

Sligo1 wrote: »

I do agree with this point... Most definitely. But why do people feel the need to tell the guests about it or put a card on the table saying it? Just do it and don't make a big "o I donated to such and such a charity". It just screams... "Look at how great and generous and kind we are".

x 1000.

When getting married my mum was terminally ill with cancer (RIP now) but was relatively well at the time. I had thought about making a wedding donation as favours to the local hospice or cancer research.

My sister put it to me that did we really need a blatant reminder infront of every single person on the day. Did they all need reminding that chances are my mother would need the hospice in the next year etc. Put the **** stuff aside for the day. Try and forget about the bad and focus on the good as all the bad stuff will get enough broadcast time.

Sala

I respectfully disagree with some of the points. My own "favours" are for marriage equality. I have obviously made a donation but I don't think it should be in private as the main point of organisation is to attract attention to the referendum next year - to encourage people to vote as opposed to donate.

I have no doubt some people on this thread may find this offensive as it's political - but I know for a fact all my family and friends are in support of equal rights for the people they love - but are very often unaware of the full extent of the inequality that exists in civil partnerships or even the fact that the referendum is coming up. Some people standing along side me on my wedding day are people who are 2nd class citizens in terms of marriage rights and I am happy to use my own wedding day to remind people that there exists a huge inequality between opposite and same sex couples. I also think it is very apt for a wedding.