Night time memories

LegacyUser

Hi,

I feel ok now but I can feel it coming on again. For the last month or so I've been feeling really bad and upset at night. I'm fine up until about 8pm when all of a sudden I feel horrible and start remembering bad things that happened me throughout my life so far. Is this normal as in it happens a lot of people or is it something else? I've had a fairly traumatic life so far and I have a lot of bad memories. It feels like they are all just coming back to me now and trying to make me feel really sad and depressed all the time. I don't really know what's going on with me right now. I have access to a counsellor that I could go to but I am way to nervous to even go near the place right now. I know its the right place to go to but I feel ashamed that I feel like this. Is there anyway to just stop remembering these things?

Osvaldo

Bumpity bump. I wish I could help you friend. Just to say keep your head up. I hope somebody else here can offer advice.

Buona Fortuna

I think you need to pay a visit to your GP and discuss it with them.

All the best OP

ahnow

Hi there,
I wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through this. Having flashbacks and having bad and unwanted memories are not unusual when you have gone through something traumatic.
I understand the feeling of shame, and why this might make it difficult to see a counsellor, but I would recommend it.
I have gone through something similar and it helped me a lot.
If seeing someone is too much right now, there are many online supports that you could get in contact, and use chat/email/phone, so it's not face to face.
I don't know the nature of your trauma so I cant point you in the direction of one that might suit you, but if it is to do with sexual abuse there is a site called Pandora's Aquarium that has excellent online help.

However I would strongly recommend reaching out to a counsellor, it can be invaluable.
Best of luck.

SkunkyDoodle

Please don't ever be ashamed of how you feel. Nobody is going to judge you, especially not a counsellor. I know it can take a lot of courage to take the first step and open up to somebody about it but it can really help and I'm speaking from experience.

Are you close with your GP? That would be a good starting point if you're not yet ready to see a counsellor.

I'm afraid you can't just stop thinking of things but you can learn to look at things different and different ways to cope with bad memories or emotions.

All the best OP and remember you're not alone, there are so many services available to you to help you out.

Leogirl

Hi OP,

Years ago I went through a very traumatic experience (well more than once ) & although talking about it helped & all that, the night time memories/flashbacks started coming. I eventually went back to the counseling even though I seemed fine apart from when I fell asleep or was trying to sleep. Turned out that I had just kept a lot of my true feelings & fears about it all hidden & under control or so I thought. Talking & helpful hints from my counselor helped me to get over it.

It still happens now & then but the help I got then has helped me to deal with it or learn how to get through those bad moments. You should never feel ashamed - a counselor isnt there to judge you or tell you you're wrong. They're there to help & to give you a safe place to talk honestly. If you could find the courage to even go once & see if you're comfortable with them, hopefully in time you'll find you're able to open up. Its not immediate & not guaranteed - sometimes it takes more than one go to find the right person. You're not alone in feeling that way & you wont be the first person to tell you have night flashbacks etc & certainly wont be the first not to open up after a few minutes - or even a few hours!!

Could you bring someone with you - just to accompany you there & wait for you? I know this helped me, I felt safe knowing someone I trusted was just nearby & that they'd be with me afterwards?

Take care OP, I know how hard it is. You feel you're weak or something cause its still getting at you - you're not!! Its just another step you need to take in learning to cope with it. Remind yourself of how well you've done up so far & how strong you are.

Bafucin

night time memories wrote: »

Hi,

I feel ok now but I can feel it coming on again. For the last month or so I've been feeling really bad and upset at night. I'm fine up until about 8pm when all of a sudden I feel horrible and start remembering bad things that happened me throughout my life so far. Is this normal as in it happens a lot of people or is it something else? I've had a fairly traumatic life so far and I have a lot of bad memories. It feels like they are all just coming back to me now and trying to make me feel really sad and depressed all the time. I don't really know what's going on with me right now. I have access to a counsellor that I could go to but I am way to nervous to even go near the place right now. I know its the right place to go to but I feel ashamed that I feel like this. Is there anyway to just stop remembering these things?

I know someone who was going through the exact thing. They could be moderate to severe flashbacks or panic attacks.

The only way for her was professional help. A counselor will know you are afraid and do their best to reassure and accept you. They will try to make it a neutral place.

When you are in this vulnerable stage any little thing can set **** off so be gentle with yourself and try and keep your life as nurturing to you being in a healthy psychological state. Your instincts are in the state of experiencing it in the present. Your animal part of the brain is experiencing it again and again now.

Tell someone who understands and try to keep a note of what might be triggering it.

Was it a headline you read? Was it an image? Was it the internet? Was it someone you know ? Try and eliminate these things for a while.

Creating a safe space around you with positive external dialogue is essential when you are going through.

Get some professional help.

Good luck OP.

Leogirl

Bafucin wrote: »

I know someone who was going through the exact thing. They could be moderate to severe flashbacks or panic attacks.

The only way for her was professional help. A counselor will know you are afraid and do their best to reassure and accept you. They will try to make it a neutral place.

When you are in this vulnerable stage any little thing can set **** off so be gentle with yourself and try and keep your life as nurturing to you being in a healthy psychological state. Your instincts are in the state of experiencing it in the present. Your animal part of the brain is experiencing it again and again now.

Tell someone who understands and try to keep a note of what might be triggering it.

Was it a headline you read? Was it an image? Was it the internet? Was it someone you know ? Try and eliminate these things for a while.

Creating a safe space around you with positive external dialogue is essential when you are going through.

Get some professional help.

Good luck OP.

This is really good advice OP. I still find I prefer to avoid certain triggers over 20 years later. It's not always possible but while you're in this vulnerable place, try to.

Bafucin

Leogirl wrote: »

This is really good advice OP. I still find I prefer to avoid certain triggers over 20 years later. It's not always possible but while you're in this vulnerable place, try to.

I hope you continue to feel good Leogirl and OP.

LegacyUser

Hi, OP here.

Thank you all for the replies. I have decided I am going to go to the counsellor's office tomorrow. It's getting worse and it's becoming insufferable. I just want it to stop.

Thanks again