partners family do not contact grandchild

lolabee2

My partner who is deceased parents brothers or sisters or most family members do not try to contact in relation to the childs well-being ie a phonecall a visit to see the child they have helped myself and my partner with nothing since the relationship began and showed zilch to no interest in the child since the passing of my partner they have helped me with nothing and have not offered to see the child at all they do not contact me I do not them I am wondering should I cut them out completely I've all ready erased there contacts a short time ago and have still heard nothing I do not want to explain to her as she grows that her deceased dads family have not made effort to contact her I think it is selfish of them and also I know my partner would not be happy with this what can I do legally to establish the situation

December2012

Why don't you contact them? Do you ever send them photos, or updates?

It's not clear to me if you actually want them to keep in touch but you don't sound very welcoming.

kandr10

Yeah make the first move yourself. Tell them you'd like them to see your lo more. Go from there. Why did you delete their contacts if you want them to stay in touch? If you go down the legal route it might be off putting. It must be an awful position to be in though. I hope you find a way to work it out.

vibe666

Obviously the one losing out here is your daughter and you owe it to her to make more of an active effort to try and build those bridges on her behalf.

Maybe it works out, maybe it doesn't, but when the time inevitably comes, and she asks about them, you can look her in the eye and say you honestly tried your hardest to mend things for her sake, but that it didn't work out.

They are her only blood link to her father and sooner or later she is likely to seek them out herself to try and get closer to her father.

Contact them and see if they want to see her and take it from there. Sometimes, too much time passes after a traumatic event like you've had and people just don't know how to start the ball rolling.

indigo twist

I'm not sure there is anything you can do legally - I'd be very surprised if they have any sort of legal responsibility towards someone else's child.

Since you have deleted their contacts, do you have any way of getting in touch with them now? Why did you delete them - did you fall out with them?

If you've made them feel unwelcome in the past, they may have decided that you don't want them in your child's life, and they may simply be respecting your decision and acknowledging that it's your right to make that decision. Maybe you need to clarify this with them?

Do you think they'd be agreeable to some sort of family mediation session, with an independent mediator? You seem quite resentful towards them, so if you're going to talk with them, it may be helpful to have someone there who's not emotionally involved in the situation.

Also - even if it turns out in the end that they don't want a relationship with your daughter - I don't think there's any need to be cruel to the child or to upset her by telling her that they wanted nothing to do with her. Don't lie to her, but be tactful about it, and try not to let your own negative feelings towards them get in the way.

pwurple

You need to do the legwork here. I know when my husband is away I have to take the children to see his family. For some reason they don't really come to us unless explicitly invited... Even though my family will just pop around and see if we are in. Just a different dynamic I guess.

Pick up the phone. Get in the car. Send photos.

It's important for your child to know her extended family too.