how do I help son.

sad44

I really feel like I'm letting my son down and have spent the last few nights upset when he's gone to bed.

He has a disability which means he struggles in certain situations mentally as well as physically. He left school 3 yrs ago and went to college, his issues meant he struggled and subsequently failed. He has spent the last 2 yrs on the dole, sinking into depression only leaving the house to take part in a sport he loves but never mixing with his teammates outside. He decided he needed to get his life together and reapplied to college after being offered a sports related job afterwards. The last 3 weeks have been amazing, he's made friends and even went out after college.

He found out last week he won't get any help financially as he doesn't qualify. I can't help him. Long story but I'm not in a position at the moment as it is i've cut down on own food to make ends meet. So it looks like he will have to drop out.

I'm heartbroken for him. I know nobody here can help but i needed to moan so thank you for reading.

*sorry just realised title is misleading and I don't know how to change it.

Bafucin

The only way is a student loan. And you need to be careful that he is able to the stress of repaying after.

Contact a financial adviser.

If he is going to UCD there is SAF and SWF ..which are funds for students from poor backgrounds. But Saf will only fund you for one semester I was funded for semester 1 and I could not reapply. The SWF is different. It more discretionary.

Check out www. studentfinance.ie sorry not allowed to link here.

Contact the institution he attends they usually try at first to fob you off and say its not their issue ...PERSIST. PERSIST PERSIST PERSIST.

He has you on his side.


I have been in similar situations. You being there emotionally will make a difference. It's no fun on your own.

Best of luck OP.

catonthewire

Great advice from the poster above......

Two of my children were able to avail of financial help, because of our circumstances..
Contact his college and ask to speak with the student support department...

Your son is lucky to have a wonderful mum supporting him...

sad44

Thank you both that means a lot. Unfortunately he's not entitled to a grant as he got one for the first course and he was refused btea.

I will get in touch with college to see what they say thank you.

I have enough money for him to go in next week but then thats it. I'm frustrated the system will help him stay on dole but not try and improve his chances of a job :-(

catonthewire

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/education/third_level_education/applying_to_college/third_level_education_for_students_with_disabilities.html.


Just another link that may be useful.

sad44

Thank you I will check it out. Really am appreciating the suggestions.

paperclip2

If he had to leave college originally on health grounds he might be able to get a grant under exceptional circumstances. Is there a disability support office in his college? If there is he should definitely call into them and look for support. He should also look for assistance through the Student Assistance Funds that all colleges have access to. Heres a list of what this fund can potentially cover: http://www.studentfinance.ie/mp7586/eligible-expenses-for-student-assistance/index.html

There's also the fund for students with disabilities that might be able to help with some supports: http://www.studentfinance.ie/mp7575/fund-for-students-with-disabilities/index.html

The Vincent de Paul also do education grants and it might be no harm to check them out. Many of the conferences (VdP regional groups) are giving out ed grants at the moment.
You can get contact info for your local branch through the website: http://www.svp.ie/what-we-do/local-offices.aspx

anncoates

Could he apply for back to education allowance which means he can keep his dole when studying full time which at least would alleviate some financial pressure.

There is a state benefits forum here that can probably offer advice.

There's always a way somehow so good luck and please don't give up.

sad44

Thanks paperclip I'll get him to go and check it out in college. Svdp is a bit of a problem as I know all of the volunteers as I did a bit for them. Its such a small community I live in nothing is private.

sad44

anncoates wrote: »

Could he apply for back to education allowance which means he can keep his dole when studying full time which at least would alleviate some financial pressure.

There is a state benefits forum here that can probably offer advice.

There's always a way somehow so good luck and please don't give up.

Thanks. No they've already refused him as he's already done a course at the same level.

Was awake from 2.30 trying to think of what to do. So tired my brain isn't working properly.

Rubberchikken

Would ypu or he be able to get a credit union loan.
It would be the greatest shame if something like money stands in the way of someone doing something with their life.

I'm sorry your son is having this problem. Its true that social welfare is more geared to keeping people on the dole but help might be out there if you're willing to keep looking.

Wishing you both the best

Magicmatilda

sad44 wrote: »

Thanks paperclip I'll get him to go and check it out in college. Svdp is a bit of a problem as I know all of the volunteers as I did a bit for them. Its such a small community I live in nothing is private.

Surely you can swallow your pride under the circumstances, for the sake of a difficult 15 minute conversation you could have the problem solved, at least short term. This is not your fault and you have no reason to be ashemaed, I give to SDVP and I give so people like you can get help. Maybe some day I will need help and if I do I will go and ask.

Also contact the CWO and see if they can help. If he has been on dole 2 years I donlt understand how he is not qualified for BTEA - is he too young?

Is your son looking for part time jobs? I know they are thin on the ground but is he looking? I had to work to pay my way through college, I would never expect not to.

Finally has he looked into scholarships?

Remember if he does have to drop out he may be able to defer a year and then if he moves out and starts claiming dole (or maybe he can do this at home?) then next year he will be eligilble for the BTEA. Sometimes we have to play the long game.

Mars Bar

Magicmatilda wrote: »

Remember if he does have to drop out he may be able to defer a year and then if he moves out and starts claiming dole (or maybe he can do this at home?) then next year he will be eligilble for the BTEA. Sometimes we have to play the long game.

He still won't be entitled to the BTEA!!

If you get a grant when doing a Level 7 degree then you will NEVER get BTEA for another Level 7 course again. It has to be a higher level degree.

sad44

Magicmatilda wrote: »

Surely you can swallow your pride under the circumstances, for the sake of a difficult 15 minute conversation you could have the problem solved, at least short term. This is not your fault and you have no reason to be ashemaed, I give to SDVP and I give so people like you can get help. Maybe some day I will need help and if I do I will go and ask.

Also contact the CWO and see if they can help. If he has been on dole 2 years I donlt understand how he is not qualified for BTEA - is he too young?

Is your son looking for part time jobs? I know they are thin on the ground but is he looking? I had to work to pay my way through college, I would never expect not to.

Finally has he looked into scholarships?

Remember if he does have to drop out he may be able to defer a year and then if he moves out and starts claiming dole (or maybe he can do this at home?) then next year he will be eligilble for the BTEA. Sometimes we have to play the long game.

I would of course swallow my pride for my son by contacting svdp.

He has sent off an awful lot of cvs and enquired in person as well unfortunately because of his disability he doesn't make a good first impression and comes across quite awkward so while he will keep trying it is a long shot unless the person knows him.

Believe it or not if he drops out he wouldn't be eligible next yr because he's registered this yr.

Its catch 22 and as his mom it worries me.

LegacyUser

if he waits until he is 23 he could be entitled to a mature students grant? Also, i think you are supposed to be able to get the regular vec grant for 4 years, but yes i think you have to be either doing 4 years in the same course , or progressing. There are 2 major grant systems, as far as i know, BTEA and SUSI/VEC . Has he asked the VEC? Also some colleges have a chaplain who can give some financial assistance (got this myself, although it was a while ago)....oh, i nearly forgot, there could also be the possibility of doing a degree course online (DCU has this facility) so it could be done in your own time and perhaps could save money on rent etc...?

sad44

cestmavie wrote: »

if he waits until he is 23 he could be entitled to a mature students grant? Also, i think you are supposed to be able to get the regular vec grant for 4 years, but yes i think you have to be either doing 4 years in the same course , or progressing. There are 2 major grant systems, as far as i know, BTEA and SUSI/VEC . Has he asked the VEC? Also some colleges have a chaplain who can give some financial assistance (got this myself, although it was a while ago)....oh, i nearly forgot, there could also be the possibility of doing a degree course online (DCU has this facility) so it could be done in your own time and perhaps could save money on rent etc...?

Thank you. I've spent the day on the phone and according to citizens advice although they confirmed he won't be able to a susi grant he can ask for a review of the btea. It will take 4 to 6 wks and even then no guarantee but it is hope. And I could do with losing a few pound anyway ;-).

Borrowing is out of the question but I will get him to see if there is help through the college. Its a plc college and we've been led to believe there's not but asking again can't hurt. I will keep trying for him, he's been through so much it's good to see him smile.

Thanks again.

mdebets

You said he has been offered a job for when he has finished college. How secure is this offer and how good does he know the person who made this offer?
Would it be a possibility that your son asks this person if it would be possible that they could sponsor him for college (as a loan that he is paying back later when he works for them).

sad44

mdebets wrote: »

You said he has been offered a job for when he has finished college. How secure is this offer and how good does he know the person who made this offer?
Would it be a possibility that your son asks this person if it would be possible that they could sponsor him for college (as a loan that he is paying back later when he works for them).

He knows the person very well and yes the job is guaranteed however he needs the qualification first. I am not sure the person is in a position to sponsor him but it is something we hadn't thought of so will broach the subject when we see them tomorrow, thanks.

sad44

Can't do it anymore. No help through college as its plc. Called svdp and they were lovely but said the college grants take 2/3 weeks. The sponsor is a no go. He needs X tomorrow and I have Y to my name. I could scream and cry. Not actually sure which one I want to do most :-(

piperh

sad44 wrote: »

Can't do it anymore. No help through college as its plc. Called svdp and they were lovely but said the college grants take 2/3 weeks. The sponsor is a no go. He needs X tomorrow and I have Y to my name. I could scream and cry. Not actually sure which one I want to do most :-(

Wish we could offer more than internet advice.

Good luck.

Bubosw

Hi, you say your son has learning difficulties and has already left college once due to stress and difficulty adjusting. He may be entitled to apply for disability allowance which would help him financially get through college and negating financial stress. Also, if he has difficulties make sure the college are aware and have supports in place for him.
Go to student welfare with him and see what options are available. It maybe that you apply for da and defer his place until next year. At least if a plan is put into place albeit for next year, it'll give him something to focus on.