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Struggling socially in college

  • 17-09-2014 10:35pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi, I just started university this week and can't help but feel crap about my social awkwardness. I don't know why, but I can't seem to talk to people in groups at all. I'm not normally quiet, I just seem to freeze up when I meet my class and just don't talk. It tears me apart inside and I just can't help it. I also dislike going out to nightclubs, which makes it even harder to mix socially on freshers week, when most people seem to be heading out each night. I don't mind pubs or quiet bars, but I hate nightclubs for some reason and it makes me feel alone, I guess. I don't think I'm the only one like this, but I'd love to be more outgoing and sociable and don't know what to do. Any ideas what I should do?


Comments

  • #2
    Tokyo
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    First thing to realise is that quite a few people are in the same situation as you are - recently moved away from home, having to create social circles all over again, so on and so forth - so you're far from being alone in this. As for how to deal with it, well first, give your classmates a chance - you're going to get thrown together in lectures, with the common goal of getting work done, and you'll be surprised how quickly you'll get to know people there. I'd also imagine that your university will have an extensive list of clubs and societies available - I'd imagine that seeing as you are a week there, a clubs&socs signup day should be coming up soon - so look into what clubs and societies you'd like to join, and sign up on the day. Not only is it a great way of meeting other people who are interested in similar activities to you, but usually each individual club and society organises a newcomers night out, specifically so that new members can meet each other.


  • #3
    Nichololas
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,186 ✭✭✭Nichololas


    Join a club or society (or several) and stick them out until Christmas. I was in the same boat and didn't feel comfortable around groups (and was therefore very quiet) until I'd gotten to know them a bit - which for me took a couple months in some cases.

    As Mike said, a lot of people are in the same situation and will deal with it in different ways like getting shy or overly chatty, so try to put it out of your mind and act like being quiet is the most natural thing in the world for you and then when you feel comfortable start talking to people more. Until then; just smile and ask people how they are. :)


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