Is this inappropriate

sara1 · 14-09-2014 4:08pm #1

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Birneybau · 14-09-2014 4:11pm

Yeah, should make a complaint.

Rubberchikken · 14-09-2014 4:11pm

if the saleswoman actually said that to her, then yes inappropriate and hurtful and completely insensitive.
if your friend feels strongly enough about it, she could write to whatever brand the woman was working for or to the shop management if she preferred.

some people reallyh don't think.

Tilly · 14-09-2014 4:11pm

Yes very. The silly bitch had no business commenting on your friends skin without being asked. Very bad form.

UpCork · 14-09-2014 4:11pm

Yes, I think it is a little inappropriate. They should only comment if asked to make recommendations. I would certainly be annoyed.

Frosty McSnowballs · 14-09-2014 4:12pm

Your friend was at a make up counter. The sales assistant offered advice and recommendations as per her presumed job description.

If your friend made it clear she wasn't interested and the sales assistant stuck her nose in and preached, then that would be inappropriate.

Rightwing · 14-09-2014 4:13pm

At the end of the day, she was only trying to help.

eviltwin · 14-09-2014 4:13pm

Yes very tactless on the sales persons part. I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your friend though. If she is very sensitive about her skin anyway then any comment would probably hurt her. Not sure I'd make a complaint but its up to her.

Pwindedd · 14-09-2014 4:15pm

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Your friend was at a make up counter. The sales assistant offered advice and recommendations as per her presumed job description.

If your friend made it clear she wasn't interested and the sales assistant stuck her nose in and preached, then that would be inappropriate.

"Is there anything I can help you with today Madam?"

"No thanks I'm just waiting for my friend?"

The conversation should have ended there.

LETHAL LADY · 14-09-2014 4:15pm

I was in The Square in Tallaght and a woman selling makeup cajoled over to her cosmetic counter. She did half my face up with her products and then tried to sell me her ridiculously overpriced ****e. I walked away like two face but with my head held high. Moral of the story.......when you're on commission you act the bollix.

Mint Aero · 14-09-2014 4:16pm

This is one for the only in Ireland thread :rolleyes: talk about being sensitive :rolleyes:
I was browsing in London and the geezer salesman drags me into a really posh place with face creams and stuff. Stuff that cost 150 quid for a small tub. I had a spot and he was giving me tips and stuff :pac: had a great ol' chat. I bought FA though even though he thought I'd be shamed into paying 100 quid for his creams

Seems to be the way sales people are nowadays.

I haven't a problem with it. If you look sh*t and they think they can sell you something to help then fair play to them. Fat people should be targeted more like this.

eviltwin · 14-09-2014 4:19pm

Mint Aero wrote: »

This is one for the only in Ireland thread :rolleyes: talk about being sensitive :rolleyes:
I was browsing in London and the geezer salesman drags me into a really posh place with face creams and stuff. Stuff that cost 150 quid for a small tub. I had a spot and he was giving me tips and stuff :pac: had a great ol' chat. I bought FA though even though he thought I'd be shamed into paying 100 quid for his creams Seems to be the way sales people are nowadays.

I haven't a problem with it. If you look sh*t and they think they can sell you something to help then fair play to them. Fat people should be targeted more like this.

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that someone who has bad skin might just be a bit sensitive about it. You would imagine someone whose job it is to sell skincare products would have been trained to sell them in such a way that enhances the self esteem of the buyer rather than preying on their insecurities. Anyone tried those tactics with me wouldn't get a sale or see me in their store again.

sara1 · 14-09-2014 4:20pm

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_Kaiser_ · 14-09-2014 4:22pm

OK, I'm assuming the OP and her friend are teenage girls

They go into a shop, stand around the make-up section, and a member of staff approaches to offer help (as they're paid to do) and assumes not unreasonably that your friend may be looking for something to help her acne. Given you're both young girls (again I'm assuming this is the case) the approach was likely somewhat different than to an adult woman.

A little tactless - yes, inappropriate - hell no

People need to stop looking for reasons to be offended and look at the full context before launching into complaining

Mint Aero · 14-09-2014 4:26pm

eviltwin wrote: »

You don't need to be a rocket scientist to know that someone who has bad skin might just be a bit sensitive about it. You would imagine someone whose job it is to sell skincare products would have been trained to sell them in such a way that enhances the self esteem of the buyer rather than preying on their insecurities. Anyone tried those tactics with me wouldn't get a sale or see me in their store again.

Tell them that buddy.

P_1 · 14-09-2014 4:27pm

If ye were at an ice cream counter it would have been inappropriate however ye were at a make up counter, so while admittedly tactless on the part of the sales assistant it was certainly not inappropriate.

Bafucin · 14-09-2014 4:28pm

sara1 wrote: »

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I wouldn't bother complaining. It's called negative sales pitching. It's part of training for some in retail. They wanted to upset her enough into making her feel she had to buy it.

Pwindedd · 14-09-2014 4:29pm

sara1 wrote: »

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I would agree that maybe the salesperson needs to learn a bit of tact. Acne is a medical issue that should be addressed by a medical professional or dermatologist, not the lady on the local makeup counter who's expensive products won't actually address the problem, just cover it up and perhaps exacerbate it. I'm not sure if your friend has been to see the doctor or not, but if she hasn't I can highly recommend it. They have some pretty good stuff for acne now. Speaking from experience here.

sara1 · 14-09-2014 4:29pm

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sara1 · 14-09-2014 4:31pm

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_Kaiser_ · 14-09-2014 4:34pm

sara1 wrote: »

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Fair enough but my point still stands - the saleswoman was a bit tactless but hardly inappropriate.

Best solution would be to vote with your wallet and shop elsewhere if you're that bothered over it, but complaining over what was at most a misunderstanding would be silly IMO

Pwindedd · 14-09-2014 4:38pm

sara1 wrote: »

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Hope it works out, don't be afraid to keep trying different things till she finds something that works. I'm guessing the assistant could tell her age or thereabouts, any decent human being knows you don't talk about a teenagers acne unless prompted by said teenager. Teenage years are the most self concious years of your life for some. Would you walk up to an old person in a department store and try and flog anti wrinkle cream, or deodorant to someone who whiffs a bit. No.

B0jangles · 14-09-2014 4:40pm

Totally inappropriate - would any of you guys be happy if you went into a shop and the salesman came over to you and tried to sell you a bunch of hats because they'll cover up "that scruffy-looking balding patch?" or some baggy shirts "to help disguise that beer belly"?

The phrasing was very rude and insensitive - if she'd asked if your sister had sensitive skin and would like to see some soothing products that might have been ok, but talking about needing"to cover up that sore looking stuff" was incredibly rude.

Babysmurf · 14-09-2014 4:43pm

No, it's not at all appropriate, but those make-up sales girls can be really painful!

Tzardine · 14-09-2014 4:44pm

So your friend has a messed up face.

Sales assistant offers to fix her up. Make her decent like.

And you want to make a complaint.

Can I suggest you take up a hobby.

JimBobPlayer · 14-09-2014 4:44pm

Completely inappropriate. I would complain to management of the store. 100%

PizzamanIRL · 14-09-2014 4:45pm

No it's not inappropriate. Is that what you want to hear?

_Kaiser_ · 14-09-2014 4:49pm

Well maybe it's just me (and I'm not quite 40 yet but apparently "out of touch" with modern sensitivities) but this seems to be a classic case of making a mountain out of molehill

Young girl arrives into a make-up section of the store with bad acne.. it's not an unexpected assumption that she's there for something to help with it - if her older sister was with her it would look even more likely (moral support/advice as it were)

Sales woman was absolutely a bit tactless but I would be 100% confident that no malice was intended. Teenagers (or kids in general) can also be difficult for some people to deal with as you can't approach them in the same way as you would an adult.

I'm curious why the OP (being nearly 30) didn't step in and politely but firmly refuse the offer of help though. Coming home and asking all of us what we think seems odd to me in that case (and to be honest why I thought they were both teenage girls).

As I said, tactless and a unfortunate misunderstanding yes but hardly inappropriate - but take your business elsewhere is the best option at this stage really

Bafucin · 14-09-2014 4:51pm

Well she didn't make a sale and put you off so you could at least tell her manager she should look into her approach to sales. Look at it as feedback. If she can give it out she should be able to take it. Do onto others and if they can't take it **** em.

Lapin · 14-09-2014 4:54pm

If the sales assistant approached your friend unsolicited and made the following remark as a sales pitch -

sara1 wrote: »

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Then it was a completely inappropriate remark.

She has no business making unrequested personal remarks about someone's appearance despite being in the cosmetics industry.

She should have asked first if there was anything she could help, as she would with any other customer and taken it from there.

You have every reason to complain but should weigh up whether taking things further will actually achieve anything for you or your sister.

sara1 · 14-09-2014 5:01pm

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--LOS-- · 14-09-2014 5:07pm

ye of course that's inappropriate and completely insensitive like you said. I'm sure your friend/sister feels bad enough about her skin and she certainly wasn't just inviting insults like that. I know the two of you were in shock at what she said and you probably felt out of place to answer back, but for the future.....you should feel fully entitled to stick up for your sister and point out to that sales clerk that she should really exercise more sensitivity, or at least say what you told us, that makeup only makes her skin worse, I just think you and your sister would feel better saying something, you can still say something now by writing in to them.

Pumpkinseeds · 14-09-2014 5:12pm

The professional approach would have been to ask if you're friend wanted any help and if not the saleswoman should have smiled and left it at that. Commenting on someone's appearance was inappropriate, unprofessional and should be reported.

suicide_circus · 14-09-2014 5:15pm

Speaking from experience of the retail world in ireland, this is what will happen

You will make a complaint

Manager will speak to the sales assistant who will deny it

Your word against hers, manager's hands tied, sales assistant will go sick for a week due to stress.

K.Flyer · 14-09-2014 5:20pm

It was quite un-professional for the sales assistant to have approached any person in that way.
A simple polite "..Hi, is there anthing I can help you with?" should have been all the assistant said.

Tail Docker · 14-09-2014 5:36pm

Wrong to put her on the spot like that. Pore form.

MouseTail · 14-09-2014 5:40pm

Your sister is 15? Hell yes it was inappropriate. I would be furious on her behalf. Young girls that age can be incredibly sensitive about their appearance, especially if they have bad skin. I would complain in writing.

However, and I acknowledge the irony of this, you might speak to your mother about bringing your sister to the doctor. There are some very effective treatments for teenage acne available on prescription. Ive just been through this with my own daughter, and the difference in her skin, and her self confidence after a couple of weeks is amazing.

Shakespeare's Sister · 14-09-2014 6:34pm

Boards is known for people saying whatever it takes to be dismissive of the OP - not full-on trolling (only one person has done that on this thread) but this thing of being "no-nonsense" just in order to be kinda tough to the OP, even if it defies logic. As if it's just a no-no to show empathy. And it's not just "only in Ireland" that teenagers get upset over these things - what sort of idiocy...

They were in the area of a make-up counter. So. What. Everyone knows damn well a sales assistant doesn't just start their sales spiel with random people in the area, without "opening" first. They have to start with "Can I help?" This is standard. People should stop pretending it isn't.

The kid is 15 years old and the sales rep said "that sore-looking stuff on your face."
Of course it's ****ing inappropriate - and everyone knows it is, including the "tough love" brigade.
I'd take steps to let her know she shouldn't have been so tactless, and to soften her approach from now on. She may not be a right **** at all, just needing to be a bit more thoughtful.
Your sis though, poor young one - awful sensitive age, and as if she doesn't feel crappy enough about it if it's so severe she's on meds for it. Don't feel guilty for bringing her in there though, you could hardly predict it.

Piriz · 14-09-2014 6:35pm

Tzardine wrote: »

So your friend has a messed up face.

Sales assistant offers to fix her up. Make her decent like.

And you want to make a complaint.

Can I suggest you take up a hobby.

are all 981 of your posts this thick?

Frosty McSnowballs · 14-09-2014 6:47pm

Pwindedd wrote: »

"Is there anything I can help you with today Madam?"

"No thanks I'm just waiting for my friend?"

The conversation should have ended there.

Were you there? Is that what was said or are you making stuff up to support your opinion?

Tzardine · 14-09-2014 6:51pm

Piriz wrote: »

are all 981 of your posts this thick?

Simple fact is that the girl is standing around a make up section with some problem with her skin. Sales assistant come across and tries to help her out and the OP wants to make a complaint.

Not the sales assistants fault that somebody is overly sensitive.

People need to cop on honestly.

B0jangles · 14-09-2014 6:53pm

Tzardine wrote: »

Simple fact is that the girl is standing around a make up section with some problem with her skin. Sales assistant come across and tries to help her out and the OP wants to make a complaint.

Not the sales assistants fault that somebody is overly sensitive.

People need to cop on honestly.

Do you wear much make-up yourself?

Tzardine · 14-09-2014 6:55pm

B0jangles wrote: »

Do you wear much make-up yourself?

Nope. Mostly because I have fantastic skin. Partially because I am a man.

B0jangles · 14-09-2014 6:59pm

Tzardine wrote: »

Nope. Mostly because I have fantastic skin. Partially because I am a man.

Thought so.

If you did, you might be aware that putting make-up on top of an acne break-out is usually a bad idea which will only exacerbate the problem. A person selling make-up professionally should certainly be expected to know this.

Not only was this salespersons advice extremely rudely given, it was very bad advice.

Tilly · 14-09-2014 6:59pm

If you're at a makeup counter it's not going to be cheap makeup\products. So why on earth would she try sell a 15 yr old expensive items. Unless she actually saw her shítting fifties. This sales woman is a total gobshíte.

Pwindedd · 14-09-2014 7:08pm

Senor Fancy Pants wrote: »

Were you there? Is that what was said or are you making stuff up to support your opinion?

You and I both know that I was suggesting that's how the conversation should have gone. We know how the actual exchange went as it was clearly stated in the OP.

WoollyRedHat · 14-09-2014 7:12pm

Tzardine wrote: »

So your friend has a messed up face.

Sales assistant offers to fix her up. Make her decent like.

And you want to make a complaint.

Can I suggest you take up a hobby.

You should be on sale in the hardware store, cause you're a big spanner

razorblunt · 14-09-2014 7:45pm

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

OK, I'm assuming the OP and her friend are teenage girls

They go into a shop, stand around the make-up section, and a member of staff approaches to offer help (as they're paid to do) and assumes not unreasonably that your friend may be looking for something to help her acne. Given you're both young girls (again I'm assuming this is the case) the approach was likely somewhat different than to an adult woman.

A little tactless - yes, inappropriate - hell no

People need to stop looking for reasons to be offended and look at the full context before launching into complaining

Ah come off it, an obese man is dining with a friend in a restaurant, a waiter comes over and tells him that he should have the salad as it will help him shift the gut, or an overweight woman is in a store with friends buying clothes and gets redirected to the sports section without asking as she could stand to lose a few pounds.

Such staff behaviours are incredibly insensitive and if I were in management, I would be extremely annoyed and embarrassed my staff were dealing with people this way.

PC has gone crazy in the last few years and I agree people are overly sensitive, but that does not give people carte Blanche to say what they want.

Shakespeare's Sister · 14-09-2014 9:10pm

The kid was crying and gets the "stop looking for offence" treatment. Ffs. :mad:

I never thought I'd resort to this but I really would love to know what the tough love brigade would feel about this happening to their daughter/sister/niece. Read the thing properly and actually think it through, and don't bother making up sh-t about how the sales assistant was only doing her job when you know full well that's not how it's done, and you know what she said was sh-tty.

Notorious97 · 14-09-2014 9:18pm

I believe it was inappropriate, there is a way of approaching such topics and a way of just being a total cnut about it.

Someone who has bad skin, their self esteem isnt exactly high when a topic slighlty hinting at their skin is mentioned, coming over to someone and just blurting out a comment like that is just showing what a twat the assistant is.

She could easily have walked over and raised the subject with a product which may have helped, and not been so harsh with the way it was phrased. I really dont get why so much abuse is aimed towards the girl who she said it to. This forum has some bizarre people in it.

B0jangles · 14-09-2014 9:31pm

sara1 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

To be honest, I think you were right not to say anything there and then; you sister had just gotten a very nasty and upsetting shock, you having a row with the saleswoman would probably only have made the situation worse for her. Much better to make a complaint from a distance when she doesn't have to be directly involved.

Is this inappropriate

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