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Anyone Experience of This?

  • 07-09-2014 5:37pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi there,

    Been with my boyfriend about 6 months. Both early 30s. Most of the time we get on really well together. However there are times when he will appear really quiet and withdrawn for no apparent reason. We can be laughing and joking and then he will suddenly go quiet and distant. Generally the next day he is back to his normal attentive self. I have to say I thought this was just a teething problem at the beginning of our relationship but it's been ongoing. When this happens I have mentioned it and asked him if he is ok. He generally will say he's fine or put it down to tiredness. I don't want to be that girl who keeps going on and asking what's wrong etc but sometimes I can't help but feel really rejected when this happens. I have mentioned this on occasion too. The last time I mentioned how I felt he said it was normal to go quiet every so often, which I agree it can be but this just feels like a bit more than that. I tend to believe that men and women are wired differently and sometimes when a guy says he's ok or not thinking anything it's generally the case! Us women (generalisations I know) tend to read into things more.

    I guess I am asking if anyone has any experience of this type of behaviour? Does it seem like I am reading into it too much? Should note that my bf smokes hash regularly so could this be at the root? I know only my bf has the answer but would be interested in others views!

    Thanks for reading!


Comments

  • #2
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Honestly some people just enjoy/are comfortable with silences- they are not awkward or meaningful or anything else, its just a silence or lull in conversation. And there's nothing more annoying than someone ruining the silence by asking whats wrong or not accepting your reasons. Maybe I'm wrong and its more than that but in my experience (although as a mum i just enjoy the peace i don’t get at home so i savor silence :pac:) some people are just more comfortable in silences than others.


  • #3
    diveout
    Closed Accounts Posts: 746 ✭✭✭diveout


    I am like your boyfriend. I go quite and withdraw. It usually means I am processing something and I really need the person around me to shut up.

    Honestly, if you can be comfortably silent with someone, you are onto something. Covering up the silence with chatter is annoying.


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