No attention

RedBell

Hi, just looking for some views. (Thanks in advance)

I am a 24 year old woman. I guess this will sound stupid but I don't know if I am attractive or not. I have suffered with low self esteem in the past. What's bothering me is that I never seem to get any male attention (aside from the odd few car beeps whilst walking etc).

I see my friends, some beautiful, some just cute or average, go from one guy to the next, but for me it never happens. I just have a lonely life. IS it possible to be so unattractive that I would be overlooked? I at least look average.

However I am also aware that I never get told I am pretty or beautiful, by guys or girls, including friends. Would that be a good indication?

Sorry if I am rambling, just feeling lonely and lost.

I also know that I can be quiet at times (i had social anxiety issues, over it now) and not the best in a crowd. I also tend to feel a bit awkward, especially around attractive people as I feel inferior. I also don't have many friends to speak of. Some yes, but I don't have a lot of people in my life.

I guess it could be down to not having any other social outlet in my life apart from my job in retail. However surely that is a good place for guys to approach me if interested.

I guess what I am saying is that I had always assumed its my looks (I know I am nothing special), but that would not account for the lack of close friends. JUst lost and rambling, sorry. Any insights?

R.D. aka MR.D

Work on your self-esteem. Even consider contacting a professional to help you with this.

Do you live in an area where you can join some groups?

It's very unlikely that some random guy is going to approach you at work. You need to get out there and meet people. If you work on your confidence issues then you'll find doing this easier.

ivytwine

Definitely agree with that, in Ireland we don't really do dating or men don't really ask women out the way they do in America, like in shops and stuff like that.

Plus it may be that you are absolutely beautiful (and I'm sure you are!) but if you are carrying yourself like you feel you're insignificant people will pick up on that.

You need to discover yourself, what makes you you, and what makes you great and beautiful inside. Confidence really does attract.

freshpopcorn

You really emphasis about looks in your post.
Most people I know be it one night stands/couple of dates or long term relationships. Personality really played a factor as well as looks/image. I know a guy who had a lot of acne in his teens/early twenties. He had a string of one nighters/relationships in this period because he was confident didn't let him get him down. Whilst others would have shyed away from it. People just fell in love/liked him.
Most guys I know would never ask a girl working in a shop out because they'd be afraid coming across as creppy.

DeadHand

Physical attractiveness is highly subjective, though it's likely you're far more beautiful than you realise. What is universally attractive is confidence so work on that.

And don't hold your breath waiting for an approach at work, it simply isn't the done thing in this country. We're way too self concious as a people.

Rubberchikken

it's great you've tackled the social anxiety. now you need to work on your self-estee. build up your confidence, join a group/night class for the autumn, take up a sport, maybe running - costs very little.

exercise is great for building up good feelings and once those take root, you'll feel much better in yourself and ready to shine.
take care.

RedBell

Thanks guys for all the replies. I feel better reading them. I guess I need to put myself out there. What I posted is only half the story and I have just come out of quite an emotionally abusive relationship so my confidence is on the floor.

He made me feel worthless and bot good enough. I am still struggling to stay away as he makes me feel nobody else would want me.

Then I looked at the lack of attention and thought maybe he was right. I am working on sorting my head out:)

tomwaterford

RedBell wrote: »

Thanks guys for all the replies. I feel better reading them. I guess I need to put myself out there. What I posted is only half the story and I have just come out of quite an emotionally abusive relationship so my confidence is on the floor.

He made me feel worthless and bot good enough. I am still struggling to stay away as he makes me feel nobody else would want me.

Then I looked at the lack of attention and thought maybe he was right. I am working on sorting my head out:)

whatever you do....don't dream on going back anyway

santana75

Seriously Op it has nothing to do with looks. I mean just imagine mirrors were never invented, people would just be themselves, they wouldnt even know what they looked like or think that somebody else was better looking than they are.
It really sounds like an esteem issue more than anything, actually it sounds like theres a lot more going on, maybe stuff that happened in your past. Definitely go talk to somebody about it all, its amazing what sharing yourself completely and openly with a non-judgmental person can do for your happiness and sense of esteem.