My Dad's Girlfriend Fcuked My Fridge Freezer!!

The Backwards Man

Me Dad and his mot are staying with me for a couple of days. She made dinner tonight (frozen pizza:rolleyes:) and broke one of the handle yokes on the freezer compartment. Fair enough says I, can happen. I land home tonight and there's water running out of it, all my food defrosted!:eek:

Should I make a scene or just let it roll?

Savage Tyrant

Porno niche market?

Firewalkwithme

Thread title disappoints.

I feel misled.

punisher5112

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Me Dad and his mot are staying with me for a couple of days. She made dinner tonight (frozen pizza:rolleyes:) and broke one of the handle yokes on the freezer compartment. Fair enough says I, can happen. I land home tonight and there's water running out of it, all my food defrosted!:eek:

Should I make a scene or just let it roll?

put her head in it and as you keep banging the door off her head say fuùck you biatch. Break my freezer will ya well I'll fück you up and buy me a new 1

The Backwards Man

punisher5112 wrote: »

put her head in it and as you keep banging the door off her head say fuùck you biatch. Break my freezer will ya well I'll fück you up and buy me a new 1

Won't do my striploin and Aldi onion rings much good.

131spanner

Smack dat ho back into line.

catallus

Thread title, as already pointed out, is misleading.

Have you considered burning the house to the ground, laughing maniacally as you do so?

wp_rathead

The Thread title excited me
Still masturbated regardless

Lyncher2014

I'm sure there is an ice bucket challenge joke in there somewhere...

Surely the door would have closed properly even with the handle broken?

I would let them know

Lapin

How was the pizza ?

The Backwards Man

catallus wrote: »

Thread title, as already pointed out, is misleading.

Have you considered burning the house to the ground, laughing maniacally as you do so?

Aye, but it's my house. Airfrying soggy chips and drinking lukewarm Tiger beer as I type.

It's a death-defying life I lead.

The Backwards Man

Lapin wrote: »

How was the pizza ?

Tough and chewy.:(

cloud493

Kick her in the face.

Ralphdejones

What's the difference between a blonde and a freezer ?
A freezer doesn't fart when you take the meat out.

punisher5112

thanks no nonsense your the best ha Haa ha haaaa ha has.

Beat her silly with all the rotten food and make her eat it all.

cruais

punisher5112 wrote: »

put her head in it and as you keep banging the door off her head say fuùck you biatch. Break my freezer will ya well I'll fück you up and buy me a new 1

I see you like to live up to your username...

catallus

The Backwards Man wrote: »

It's a death-defying life I lead.

If you were truly death-defying you'd already have started the inferno.

No pain, no gain.

And why the hell are you drinking tiger?! Are you some sort of masochist?

The Backwards Man

catallus wrote: »

If you were truly death-defying you'd already have started the inferno.

No pain, no gain.

And why the hell are you drinking tiger?! Are you some sort of masochist?

It makes me feel RAWR!

catallus

I also feel RAWR!!!

I'm lighting the match......

The Purveyor of Truth

New one on me. Thought it was tumbler dryers that women fcuked.

Lapin

If it only happened tonight then anything that had to be cooked from frozen can be fucked out if its completely thawed. If not cook it now and invite the neighbours around for a bite to eat.

Anything that doesn't have to be cooked from frozen can be let to defrost and cooked tomorrow.

Don't let her near the fridge or oven again. Give her a tea towel and sweeping brush if she wants to make herself useful.

B.A._Baracus

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Me Dad and his mot are staying with me for a couple of days. She made dinner tonight (frozen pizza:rolleyes:) and broke one of the handle yokes on the freezer compartment. Fair enough says I, can happen. I land home tonight and there's water running out of it, all my food defrosted!:eek:

Should I make a scene or just let it roll?

Let it slide, dude.
it's one of those awkward family moments where if you create a stink your da will naturally side with her.

Think to yourself "ffs, like!" and carry on

The Backwards Man

Lapin wrote: »

If it only happened tonight then anything that had to be cooked from frozen can be fucked out if its completely thawed. If not cook it now and invite the neighbours around for a bite to eat.

Anything that doesn't have to be cooked from frozen can be let to defrost and cooked tomorrow.

Don't let her near the fridge or oven again. Give her a tea towel and sweeping brush if she wants to make herself useful.

I've already eaten the soggy oven chips.:o

Everything else is getting binned. Even my own homegrown peas.:(

Thanks man, I love you. Kinda.:)

stmol32

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Me Dad and his mot .....

Eeh, she's actually called your mammy OP.

stmol32

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Even my own homegrown peas.:(

How do you grow peas in a freezer?

Ralphdejones

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I've already eaten the soggy oven chips.:o

Everything else is getting binned. Even my own homegrown peas.:(

Thanks man, I love you. Kinda.:)

would you not make your new step mammy a nice meal ?

The Backwards Man

stmol32 wrote: »

Eeh, she's actually called your mammy OP.

Sorry to make you feel like a knob, but me mammy's dead.:(

The Backwards Man

stmol32 wrote: »

How do you grow peas in a freezer?

I grow them in my garden, then shell them, and divide them into Backwards Man size portions with a icebucket scoop I stole from a pub, and freeze them until such times I want to eat them, or some eejit accidentally defrosts them.:(

Ralphdejones

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I grow them in my garden, then shell them, and divide them into Backwards Man size portions with a icebucket scoop I stole from a pub, and freeze them until such times I want to eat them, or some eejit accidentally defrosts them.:(

looks like robbing the scoop brought you no luck

stmol32

The Backwards Man wrote: »

Sorry to make you feel like a knob, but me mammy's dead.:(

I was only messing man, I wanted to do a long post about how I'm super catholic and don't believe in divorce or remarrying.

I figured a one liner better suited the thread.

She deserves at least a fine for the peas though.

The Backwards Man

Ralphdejones wrote: »

looks like robbing the scoop brought you no luck

I know who the bar owner shagged on her daughter's hen-night, so it's technically a bribe,:pac:

ardle1

punisher5112 wrote: »

put her head in it and as you keep banging the door off her head say fuùck you biatch. Break my freezer will ya well I'll fück you up and buy me a new 1

I'd just like to add to this... Also you should be shouting and screaming in a 1920's Down-Town Chicago accent.. wat da foike is your ploblem etc etc....
Then drag her outside open the door of your car and push her head in, and start slamming the door multiple times as hard as you can... When she has seemingly passed out, drag her by her feet towards the kerb, place her head between the road and the kerb zzzzzzzzz:cool:

Autosport

Serious questions do be asked about some of ye but at the end of the day it's only a freezer/food and can be replaced


Are we invited to this food party

WILL NEVER LOG OFF

punisher5112 wrote: »

put her head in it and as you keep banging the door off her head say fuùck you biatch. Break my freezer will ya well I'll fück you up and buy me a new 1

131spanner wrote: »

Smack dat ho back into line.

cloud493 wrote: »

Kick her in the face.

punisher5112 wrote: »

Beat her silly with all the rotten food and make her eat it all.

ardle1 wrote: »

I'd just like to add to this... Also you should be shouting and screaming in a 1920's Down-Town Chicago accent.. wat da foike is your ploblem etc etc....
Then drag her outside open the door of your car and push her head in, and start slamming the door multiple times as hard as you can... When she has seemingly passed out, drag her by her feet towards the kerb, place her head between the road and the kerb zzzzzzzzz:cool:

this is more disturbing than funny guys

foggy_lad

Cook everything that doesn't squeal when you pinch it and then weld the doors of the freezer shut with the dozy cow inside and bring it to the landfill(bog) in the morning. Your da can help lifting it.

stmol32

WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »

this is more disturbing than funny guys

That's easy for to say in your ivory tower.
It wasn't your frozen chips and peas that were massacred.

ALiasEX

**** her and see how she likes it.

Smiles35

Break the handle on your father

LizzieJones

You with a broken freezer and me with a good working chest freezer to give away. What are the odds?

Lapin

Broken freezers are only the start of it.

You wait and see what happens if Scotland votes yes in a three weeks.

Alex Salmond's promise to slash VAT on deep fat friars will lead to an inevitable rise in Scots cooking their national dish of deep fired butter balls in Irn-Bru batter and deep fried Mars Bars at home rather than going to the chipper.

This will inevitably lead to an increase in the ownership of fridge freezers as people will need exrea storage space for batter mix etc. This will push the price of fridges through the roof. Bet you didn't think about that OP.

Meanwhile the social implications are bleak as the devastating impact this has on fish n' chip shops could cause at least three of them to close down in every street, (rising to five per street in Govan).

Be careful how you vote OP.




Oh wait, I forgot - You can't vote :pac:

anncoates

You should have substituted Father's Friend for Dad's Girlfriend in the title to create alliteration win.

fizzypish

The Backwards Man wrote: »

drinking lukewarm Tiger beer as I type.

Why did you have tiger beer in the freezer? Were you drinking lukewarm defrosted tiger beer. **** the peas. This is madness.

CarrickMcJoe

stmol32 wrote: »

How do you grow peas in a freezer?

Yea, and fresh milk comes from a carton

OP, She did her best, a lovely home cooked meal, probably with a lovely glass of wine and candles etc, just trying to win you over.

NuMarvel

anncoates wrote: »

You should have substituted Father's Friend for Dad's Girlfriend in the title to create alliteration win.

Or Father's Female Friend to make the same point AND get alliteration.

Zulu

If you're going to put striplion (or any other steak) in the freezer she's doing you a massive favour.

Tail Docker

No one has asked the crucial question - is she hot? This will set the level of retaliation required, from a charming "ah, sure you're grand, could happen to anyone.." through to feeding her the defrosted prawns in a weeks time with a big smile and a lot of curry sauce..

CarrickMcJoe

Tail Docker wrote: »

No one has asked the crucial question - is she hot? This will set the level of retaliation required, from a charming "ah, sure you're grand, could happen to anyone.." through to feeding her the defrosted prawns in a weeks time with a big smile and a lot of curry sauce..

Answered in 1st post. She can only cook pizza for dinner and break the freezer....means shes sh1t hot and blonde!

blade1

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I know who the bar owner shagged on her daughter's hen-night, so it's technically a bribe,:pac:

Was it the Dish Washer?

TerrorFirmer

How did everything defrost, surely the door of the freezer still closed? Can't see how she actually managed to go from breaking a handle to breaking the entire mechanism of the freezer. Are you sure she just didn't close the door properly?!

Teyla Emmagan

It is very sad about the peas.

dar100

WILL NEVER LOG OFF wrote: »

this is more disturbing than funny guys

your on the wrong forum so, serious threads are found else where