Questions on Psychotherapy:

MiloDublin

Is it possible to have too much ?
I had a friend who sees a therapist. It was increasingly difficult to relate to her as she became more and more self-absorbed and only talked about herself. Recovery is not dwelling on the past and obsessive self-focus but moving on and finding healthy engagement with the world.

How does a therapist/client know when therapy is over?
Is there is a conflict of interest at play here because the therapist needs the client's dependence to provide them with a living? Or is this too cynical? Are there objective parameters?

Jimmy Bottlehead

MiloDublin wrote: »

Is it possible to have too much ?
I had a friend who sees a therapist. It was increasingly difficult to relate to her as she became more and more self-absorbed and only talked about herself. Recovery is not dwelling on the past and obsessive self-focus but moving on and finding healthy engagement with the world.

To move forward into the future sometimes necessitates coming to terms with the past.
When you say "It WAS increasingly difficult to relate to her...", do you mean she used to be like this and has changed? Or did you stop being friends?

MiloDublin wrote: »

How does a therapist/client know when therapy is over?
Is there is a conflict of interest at play here because the therapist needs the client's dependence to provide them with a living? Or is this too cynical? Are there objective parameters?

A professional therapist will help their client come to terms with their issue(s), and teach their client tools with which to deal with life and any issues that may arise. Their role is partly to train the client to be self-sufficient and independent, though with the knowledge that they can always return to the therapist for either a refresher course, or to learn a new skill to deal with a new problem.

That's my understanding at least.

JuliusCaesar

MiloDublin wrote: »

Is it possible to have too much ?

My own point of view: Yes.


It really depends on the kind of therapy. Psychoanalysis can go on for years, once or twice a week for years. I don't think we have any psychoanalysts on here who could give more information.

MiloDublin wrote: »

How does a therapist/client know when therapy is over?
Is there is a conflict of interest at play here because the therapist needs the client's dependence to provide them with a living? Or is this too cynical? Are there objective parameters?

In my kind of therapy (CBT): when the client has reached their goals, or as close as they're going to get to them at this time. Our aim is to foster independence, not dependence; and there are always more clients with pressing needs, so we will not be dependent on particular clients. Also, the HSE pays my salary


But this may well be an issue for some (unethical) therapists in private practice.

dar100

Really depends on the brand of therapy been utilised, the presenting issues, the motivation of the client and the therapeutic environment built by the counsellor.

For example, someone presenting with childhood trauma and working with a psychoanalyst could be in therapy for a number of year's. Conversely, a person presenting with anxiety/stress/depression, working with a CBT therapist, could be finished their treatment after 20 weeks, it all depends on client-therapist-goals= outcome.

Yes, unfortunately there are "therapists" out there who wish to profit from clients, thankfully these are in the minority.

It's important for a person seeing a counsellor to move from relying on external supports, to eventually relying on internal supports, coping skills etc. Ultimately this is the job of the counsellor, to facilitate this process

Torakx

I know of someone seeing a counselor or therapist for a few years.
I've heard friends mention the same issue as the OP here.
I can't help feeling that some people are better served learning about their behaviour instead of using someone to come to terms with who they are.
I found that having a basic understanding of why I am doing what I do, by learning how to make associations between my past and my current behaviour, helped me to come to terms with many things and accept who I am. Not to mention my personal research into others areas like, body language, the human organism and how its systems work, NLP and how we anchor memories with emotions etc etc
I did this by learning in my own time about how I function.
In the process I learned I am dyslexic in two ways and many other things, which explain much of my behaviour and life style.
The power of independant self discovery I think is not taken seriously enough. When people do things for themselves, I think it lasts longer and the effect of the changes are more foundational. They come directly from within and via the self(unconsious knowledge, intuitive insights), for want of a better way to explain..
Maybe this is suitable only for more intuitive people? I'm not sure. I just know that I FEEL strongly that this helps people to see themselves so well. An intuition and experience I suppose on my part.
I guess I am a sort of therapist for my friends.. not in any planned or focussed way.
We talk about our issues. We make and share insights/idea into each others behaviour which gives us all more things to consider. After a while the issues become either accepted or the circumstance becomes resolved.

I think this is because there is a spirit of complete acceptance and the insights are just conversation and topics of interest. Mostly because my friends know I am sointereste din behaviour, the topics come up.
This might allows each of us to just see the issues and accept them, becuase the people we care most about seem to think it's ok. And the "ok" is then not something that is a big worry. It then loses it's power over us and we get an extra bit of control of ourselves.
Over the years I have noticed the long term changes in the three of us close friends. All of us left a cult like religion, with varying psychological issues and neurotic behaviour, depression etc.
I'm happy to say all of us are really doing a lot better. One going from cutting themselves to deal with depression, to studying physics and now aiming at theoritical physics or statistics.
It could be put down alsoto just growing up. Maybe that's true. For me, a lot of the changes came about through learning about behaviour and learning how to identify behaviour with past experience.
It might even be that our answers for certain things were incorrect. And that the act of acceptance is all that was needed

Maybe someone here could share some insight on that thought.

PS. In relation to the person I know going to see a therapist or counselor. What questions could I ask them to have a rough idea if they are getting the right attention.
Are there any general goals or milestones to mark progress?

Labarbapostiza

MiloDublin wrote: »

Recovery is not dwelling on the past and obsessive self-focus but moving on and finding healthy engagement with the world.

"don't dwell on the past", is up there with "just snap out of it".

If someone needs therapy, it means they cannot "move on". It's not a matter of choice.

I had a friend who sees a therapist. It was increasingly difficult to relate
to her as she became more and more self-absorbed and only talked about
herself.

And before she went to the therapist, what was she like?....Would she just stay quite while you talked about yourself.

A problem that may have driven her to therapy in the first place, was not being allowed or given permission, to talk about herself.

She may be turning to you, seeking a little additional counselling. Which is a bad idea, especially if you do not know what you're doing, as this can make someone worse.