Finding transition from secondary school hard

owenc

Hi just finished my A levels. I am on a gap year and have achieved decent enough results. I am finding it a bit difficult to get over the idea that i'm not in school anymore.. Its kind of weird to me how I was in a class with these people for seven years and then all of a sudden I don't see them.

It is a massive change, I think i've seen one person since my last exam in June. Obviously I want a fresh start but i'm finding it difficult to move on as it takes me a long time to get used to a person, bond and even trust them.

I have cut off all contact as no one wants to be bothered as they are all away to uni. I had attempted to keep in contact with them but they all deleted their Twitter, Facebook within a week of results so I guess they aren't interested lol. Thought this was a bit odd as alot of people like to keep in contact to see how people are doing but I guess they don't?

So basically now i've got no one as they are all away. I made a really daft decision not going to uni and i'm already regreting it as I clearly did not think it through! I have got on a years course which is fine but then theres no jobs..

Basically at the moment I feel like a part of me has been cut out and thrown away. Its just so odd how I have just stopped going to school and everyone is gone and its all cut off. I don't know what to do with my life.

Rubberchikken

Hi
you're right. the transition from secondary to college/life/whatever is difficult.

you have a course lined up for the next year, so could you focus on doing your best at that? there'll be new people to meet and new friends to make and a whole new experience.

it'll take a bit of time to adjust, but if you focus on positives, i'm positive things will work out;)

Stavro Mueller

It's quite likely that if you had gone on to uni, you'd not be so fussed about staying in touch with your old classmates either. Someone here once said that when they were in secondary school, their teacher told them that in years to come, they'd find themselves crossing roads to avoid meeting each other. There's more than a grain of truth in that. I think it's fair to say that most people quickly lose touch with all but a handful of their old classmates once they finish school and move on. If you weren't so lonely now this wouldn't be bothering you as much as it is

On the not going to uni thing that you mentioned, is there any possibility that you could still go? Could you re-sit your A-Levels for example? Could you do another course which could get you into uni? You could use this gap year to your advantage. I'm sure that just like down here, there are plenty of youngsters who are now regretting choosing the university courses they did. You've got time on your hands now to put some thought into this. Don't beat yourself up about being a bit older than the other people going to uni - there are always people of different ages at college. Also because you've had time to think and have regrets, it might make you study harder and appreciate your opportunities more.

As for what to do in the short term, you're going to have to get better at making new friends. Yeah, it is as simplistic as that. It's a skill you're going to have to develop in life anyway.

IlmoNT4

It happens and will happen for the rest of your life..... the people you go to college with, when its all said and done, most of them will slip away, friends from different jobs, same deal, you can work beside someone for years and then you move on, with all the best intentions in the world, people just slip away.

Its a skill you'll have to learn. Enjoy your friendships, people come into your life for a reason, for a season or for life.... most of them are for a season.

fizzypish

Try and get any kind of work. Bar work, fast food, whatever. You'll make a whole new group of friends and being in a working environment is maturing. You'll be less likely to drop out of a course because it too tough if you've been working min wage for a year.