The Japanese phenomenon of Hikikomori

truffle5

Hikikomori are extreme social hermits who have withdrawn from society and live in their bedrooms without leaving for weeks or months at a time. They seek isolation and don’t wish for human contact. It seems to disproportionately affect young males. According to Japanese government figures released in 2010, there are 700,000 individuals living as hikikomori with an average age of 31. There are many reasons why somebody may decide to become such an extreme recluse – bullying, rejection from a female, depression.

Are you aware of any hikikomori in Ireland? There was a guy I went to school with years ago who was addicted to videogames. He spent all his evening and weekends sat in front of the Playstation engrossed in his games. We never saw him at all during the summer when he’d sit in his room with the curtains drawn, no doubt playing the Playstation. He never made the effort to go outside and be social but the lack of friends never seemed to bother him. I don’t think he would have ever left his room if he wasn’t forced to go to school. Nobody has heard from him or seen him since graduation (over 10 years ago) but apparently he is still living at home with his parents. He was overweight and almost certainly a virgin. I think he gets disability allowance from the social welfare directly into his bank account so he never has to leave. I wonder if he is happy. Such a waste of a life.

What can be done, if anything, to help these people? I imagine the problem has only got worse with the proliferation of the internet. You hear stories of addicts who waste away hours of life on the internet.

Ruu

Did you or your friends do anything to reach out to this individual?

Uriel.

truffle5 wrote: »

Hikikomori are extreme social hermits who have withdrawn from society and live in their bedrooms without leaving for weeks or months at a time. They seek isolation and don’t wish for human contact. It seems to disproportionately affect young males. According to Japanese government figures released in 2010, there are 700,000 individuals living as hikikomori with an average age of 31. There are many reasons why somebody may decide to become such an extreme recluse – bullying, rejection from a female, depression.

Are you aware of any hikikomori in Ireland? There was a guy I went to school with years ago who was addicted to videogames. He spent all his evening and weekends sat in front of the Playstation engrossed in his games. We never saw him at all during the summer when he’d sit in his room with the curtains drawn, no doubt playing the Playstation. He never made the effort to go outside and be social but the lack of friends never seemed to bother him. I don’t think he would have ever left his room if he wasn’t forced to go to school. Nobody has heard from him or seen him since graduation (over 10 years ago) but apparently he is still living at home with his parents. He was overweight and almost certainly a virgin. I think he gets disability allowance from the social welfare directly into his bank account so he never has to leave. I wonder if he is happy. Such a waste of a life.

What can be done, if anything, to help these people? I imagine the problem has only got worse with the proliferation of the internet. You hear stories of addicts who waste away hours of life on the internet.

You haven't heard from or seen him in a decade yet you know he gets disability allowance paid into his bank account, suppose you what he had for breakfast too?

Sounds legit,

So your "friend" eh?

Packrat

Ya know the way people insult others of higher post count here with "I have a life" type digs?;

Ive sometimes wondered if many here are like that, but I suppose we would have had many more super-high post counts if there were.... The really high post count people here have mostly seemed to be normal people with jobs and lives offline as far as I can remember.

I have a neighbour down at home who hasn't been out in a few years, young extremely intelligent guy but with autism and NO social skills and from an antisocial family so it probably seems normal to him.

antodeco

The only reason I leave my house is to go to work and get paid. If I didn't have to work, I'd never leave the house!

Links234

A few years back, I was quite a bit like this, I was suffering seriously bad from depression, anxiety and barely left the house for weeks or months at a time, and when I did I would get pretty bad panic attacks. When I did go out with friends, I just drank myself stupid just to be able to cope with it. I had family and friends concerned for me, wanting to get me out of the house, but really I just didn't want to go. I was suffering incredibly badly because there were certain issues that I didn't want to face (gee, I wonder what? ) and no matter what outside pressure came, I couldn't confront it. I played games and watched movies constantly, basically I needed to be constantly distracted from my own thoughts.

In the end, my mother got me a puppy. That little dog saved my life, believe it or not. I started walking her, getting out of the house, briefly at first and then more and more, bigger and bigger walks, and the longer I went out the more time I had away from the distractions, the more time I was alone with my own thoughts. Once I faced up and accepted the thoughts I was trying to drown out, that was pretty much it. I am a far more social person these days, and way, way happier.

truffle5

Do internet forums facilitate the creation of social hermits? They give you the feeling of chatting to other people without actual social interaction. Internet even allows you to order food and groceries online so you never need to leave the house. The hikiomori phenomenon wasn't as big a problem 20 years ago when the internet wasn't so widespread. I'd be interested to hear from somebody with a high post count who spends a lot of time here. (Links234 - care to share your thoughts?)

krudler

I can get behind this, have you been outside? there's crazy people out there. I used to work in an office so that's why my post count is so high for the most part.

Links234

truffle5 wrote: »

Do internet forums facilitate the creation of social hermits?

No, underlying issues are the problem, not what people use to avoid them or mask them. Someone might retreat from life and play games, but another might try to drink their issues away, or use some other means to ignore/avoid their issues.

And honestly, having a high post count on boards isn't really anything, I'd say a lot of people post from mobiles, tablets or things while on the bus, it doesn't take too long to write a short post, engage in some chat, or make witty comments on AH.

bb1234567

truffle5 wrote: »

Hikikomori are extreme social hermits who have withdrawn from society and live in their bedrooms without leaving for weeks or months at a time. They seek isolation and don’t wish for human contact. It seems to disproportionately affect young males. According to Japanese government figures released in 2010, there are 700,000 individuals living as hikikomori with an average age of 31. There are many reasons why somebody may decide to become such an extreme recluse – bullying, rejection from a female, depression.

Are you aware of any hikikomori in Ireland? There was a guy I went to school with years ago who was addicted to videogames. He spent all his evening and weekends sat in front of the Playstation engrossed in his games. We never saw him at all during the summer when he’d sit in his room with the curtains drawn, no doubt playing the Playstation. He never made the effort to go outside and be social but the lack of friends never seemed to bother him. I don’t think he would have ever left his room if he wasn’t forced to go to school. Nobody has heard from him or seen him since graduation (over 10 years ago) but apparently he is still living at home with his parents. He was overweight and almost certainly a virgin. I think he gets disability allowance from the social welfare directly into his bank account so he never has to leave. I wonder if he is happy. Such a waste of a life.

What can be done, if anything, to help these people? I imagine the problem has only got worse with the proliferation of the internet. You hear stories of addicts who waste away hours of life on the internet.

Just because you think hes wasting his life doesnt mean he agrees. The majority of people would probably even agree with you that he is wasting his life, but that also does not mean its true. Dont say somebodys life is a waste just because their lifestyle doesnt appeal to you.

For me, and I can only speak for me, boards has made me a much much more social person. I was always extroverted, and never one for hiding in my room, but I've made some friends here. I find the difference between the friends I've made here, and the friends I know since I was younger, is that I'm much more like the ones I've met online. Our personalities clicked rather than just our circumstances.

This year I've been to Sligo, Galway, Poland, and Denmark with my online friends, aswell as loads of other places in Ireland, and also Boston, with my nonline friends.

I've taking up running, thanks to boards, and I've run a load of races, and made a fair chunk for charity. I'm going away this weekend and will run another awesome race with my mates while I'm there. The following weekend I'm going to Electric Picnic.

I may have almost 30,000 posts, but that doesn't mean I sit in darkness with no contact to the outside world. So far the other way, that I barely have time to think some days.

I know I'm lucky, and I know everyone won't have the same experiences as I do, but both I and the people that I am friends with from boards, have certainly gained huge amounts from signing up to forums.

truffle5

truffle5 wrote: »

There are many reasons why somebody may decide to become such an extreme recluse – bullying, rejection from a female, depression.

Rejection from a female what?


Oh, do you mean a woman?

Shakespeare's Sister

Packrat wrote: »

Ya know the way people insult others of higher post count here with "I have a life" type digs?

Yeh, but not the OP. The OP isn't heading in that direction at all - they're genuinely interested in those Japanese lads and how people can help them.

P_1

Noticed I was started slipping that way recently to be honest. I've started to rectify that now though. I've always been rather introverted but the way that I was actively shunning people was getting to be rather concerning to be honest.

suicide_circus

Deleted User wrote: »

nonline friends

You did NOT just say that

suicide_circus

suicide_circus wrote: »

You did NOT just say that

:pac:

I did! :pac:

I'M NOT SORRY

skyhighflyer

Sounds fairly tempting to be honest. When the aul recession hit in 2009 with all the doom and gloom I thought how much easier it'd be to hibernate, hamster - like in my room playing ps3 all day, drinking tins and going out for the odd run at night to ward off morbid obesity. Plan was to emerge, blinking in the sun, sometime around 2014. Unexpected constant employment got in the way of that master plan.

Packrat

Magaggie wrote: »

Yeh, but not the OP. The OP isn't heading in that direction at all - they're genuinely interested in those Japanese lads and how people can help them.

Never suggested they were - where did you read that??

BeerWolf

Over here, in the West... this is known as FAD [Facebook Addiction Disorder]. :pac:

pajor

Saw this last year, explains a lot.

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-23182523

sun structures

Candie wrote: »

Rejection from a female what?


Oh, do you mean a woman?

Jesus...

jimgoose

Japan is a complicated place. There's a lot of societal pressure - traditional and non-quite-so-traditional - on youngsters over there. The school week only dropped to five days from six in 1996, for example. Some youngsters have been reacting against the whole thing, often unbeknownst to themselves, for a good few years now.

osarusan

Candie wrote: »

Rejection from a female what?


Oh, do you mean a woman?

It's just cut and pasted from wikipedia, so maybe take it up with them? Or edit it yourself?

kylith

In some Asian countries there is a real problem with kids effectively being raised by schools as their parents work long hours. I saw a documentary about South Korea, and I know from friends who have worked in schools in Japan, that it's not uncommon for kids to be in school about 7am, attend after school activities, eat dinner in school, attend study halls, and basically go home only to sleep. Lack of free time to socialise in a normal environment would, I think, have a huge impact on a person's ability to form relationships in the long term.

It's obviously not the case for all children, but there are large numbers of them that basically live in school.

Links234

jimgoose wrote: »

Japan is a complicated place. There's a lot of societal pressure - traditional and non-quite-so-traditional - on youngsters over there. The school week only dropped to five days from six in 1996, for example. Some youngsters have been reacting against the whole thing, often unbeknownst to themselves, for a good few years now.

There's a lot of issues in Japan that add to the problem, you could point to the decreasing birthrate and greater societal pressure on youth, but be careful not to view it solely as a Japanese issue, because it's happening elsewhere too. Japan is just a place where it's more pronounced.

sbsquarepants

truffle5 wrote: »

. I wonder if he is happy. Such a waste of a life.

Well if he is, then that's the opposite of a wasted life. I'm not espousing staying in your bedroom for weeks on end (well not playing computer games anyway:D) but each to their own I suppose, if he likes then whats the harm. Slaving away in an office or factory to amass money you then don't have time to spend, that's a waste of a life if you ask me. I've never quite understood why they call that being successful? What exactly have you succeeded at? No one is going to lie on their death bed thinking, I wish I had done more overtime or I'd give anything to for few more share options.
Enjoying your life is the one and only measure of success.

BeerWolf

Imagine a future like that in the film Surrogates... leaving your house using a robot, while your own self is safe and sound at home.

Wonder if an option like this, should it exist, if these people would still hole themselves...

jimgoose

Links234 wrote: »

There's a lot of issues in Japan that add to the problem, you could point to the decreasing birthrate and greater societal pressure on youth, but be careful not to view it solely as a Japanese issue, because it's happening elsewhere too. Japan is just a place where it's more pronounced.

To be sure. But in Japan, they also have this "relationship crisis" sort of thing, where the genders seem to be drifting apart and alienating from one another. It seems to me the young men started this "Hikkomori" business first while many young women forged ahead in careers and so forth, losing interest somewhat what in more traditionally "girlie" matters. But now it seems they're getting cheesed off with the whole thing as well.

geret

Uriel. wrote: »

You haven't heard from or seen him in a decade yet you know he gets disability allowance paid into his bank account, suppose you what he had for breakfast too?

Sounds legit,

So your "friend" eh?

Candie wrote: »

Rejection from a female what?


Oh, do you mean a woman?

*click*
door closed and locked

sbsquarepants

I'm not being racist but......... I think it's also worth mentioning that the Japanese are by and large as mad as a bucket of frogs to begin with, practically everything about their whole culture, work ethic, and just general world view is batshít crazy to be quite frank.

PS - Don't you just love statements that start out with I'm not being racist, only to go on to make sweeping generalisations encompassing 100m people, not a single one of whom I know. Although, come to think of it, I did score a very sexy Japanese tourist one time, a few years back, but alas our love was only fleeting - I think she had to tend her tamagotchi, or get a hello kitty tattoo or something. Told you, them japs are all mental:D

IrishAlice

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I'm not being racist but......... I think it's also worth mentioning that the Japanese are by and large as mad as a bucket of frogs to begin with, practically everything about their whole culture, work ethic, and just general world view is batshít crazy to be quite frank.

PS - Don't you just love statements that start out with I'm not being racist, only to go on to make sweeping generalisations encompassing 100m people, not a single one of whom I know. Although, come to think of it, I did score a very sexy Japanese tourist one time, a few years back, but alas our love was only fleeting - I think she had to tend her tamagotchi, or get a hello kitty tattoo or something. Told you, them japs are all mental:D

At least you're being humorous (Right?!) I know people who regularly begin sentences with "I'm not being racist but" and then spout something terrible thereafter that they honestly believe.

Shakespeare's Sister

Packrat wrote: »

Never suggested they were - where did you read that??

Didn't say you did - just stating I'm suspicious of the OP.

Clandestine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_B._Calhoun#Mouse_experiments

This is what is happening to Japan