1/4 Life Crisis - stuck in a rut, don't know what to do :(

oB1

I guess this will be my first post of this nature to this board; I guess I've kept a lot of it buried but feeling very lost lately and need to put it down on 'virtual' paper..

I'm 22 ( soon to be 23 ) and I guess I'm having a 1/4 life crisis -- feeling very unsure and lost in life.. Let me give you a bit of background:

I'm 22 ( soon to be 23 ) still living at home with the parents ( lived away briefly for a short period, and also lived in the US while on a j1) - I do have a full time job and it's actually a good one at that, I will admit but I'm not happy deep down.. I've made a few attempts to get a degree .. But keep failing ( done a PLC and started a BSc in Computer Science but failed the second semster of 1st ) I decided to go back to full time work.. But I'm just not happy..

I've had little relationships and most of my friends I had growing up are all moving on and doing there own thing ( graduating college, emigrating abroad and even getting married ! ) and I just living at home, working 9-5 with no life.

feeling very stuck in a rut -- I work as an IT Sys Admin at a solicitor firm in Dublin, it's a real good job, the type of job you need a degree for but I just got lucky, I'm good at what I do. But again, deep down I'm not happy..

I'd like to think I could go back and make another attempt at full time college but would I be too old? Will I miss the steady flow of cash? I'd like to think I could go back to full time college and give it another go while still ( relatively ) young and enjoy being a student while I still can.

Am I being stupid? Should I be realistic with myself? A big reason for me wanting to go back to full time college is so I can go on more j1's - I absolutely love the US and I hope to one day live there permanently but it's difficult to get a visa.

Mr. L

Too old to go back to college!!! Gwan away outta that!! I'm a few (plus a couple) of years older and am returning to college in a couple of weeks!! How many f**** am I giving about my age? Not a single one!

Think of whatever makes you happy; and do that. I'm cereal.

Good luck brah!

Pawwed Rig

First off you are 22 so are not too old to be in college.
What would you achieve by going back to college. You say you are good at your job but do not say if you like it or not. A change may not make you happy. You need to figure out the cause of your unhappiness before making big life decisions.
Money is a big issue as returning to college will put you back dependent on your parents.
Why not move out into a house share? I have lived in some great places and have made many friends in that way.

convert

You're definitely not too old to return to college, OP. There are lots of people there who will be around the same age as you, as well as people in their 70s! So not too old by any means.

With regards to returning to college would you consider doing a degree part time? That way you could still have a steady flow of income, and be able to take things bit by bit. That way, if you found the course wasn't for you, you would still have a job. Also, if you started your degree you'd be over 23 and therefore qualify for more financial assistance (unless it's changed recently) if entitled to a grant.

I'd also recommend that you do a lot of research into the college courses in which you may be interested. Make sure you consider each one and compare and contrast them so that you know exactly what the course will entail and what is expected of you, and what you'll get from it.

castaway_lady

OP 1/4 life crisis are very normal and can be fairly useful in terms of focusing the mind and not drifting on till your late 20s to make your next set of decisions.

A huge plus is having a good fulltime job. The core question there is do you like the nature of the work or is it that you're thinking about adventure elsewhere and the j1 thing?
A part time degree is something you should definitely be seriously looking into, one that has step off points i.e. higher cert after so many modules, ordinary degree then, hons degree if you wanted to go on....that would also give you more social contacts with the other people on the course....going for a drink after evening classes etc. If thinking of fulltime college, no you're not too old, never too old. Your college experience may very well be a bit different though. It was for my brother who had a few years working before returning to fulltime ed. You'd be in classes with a lot of wild young lads, you'd definitely miss the money. So you need to think if you're thinking about this with the j1 tinted glasses only.

Its natural to look at others lives and make comparisons, natural but not helpful. They're singing off their own hymn sheet. How many have emigrated because they didnt have an option? How many regret marrying young? You dont know!
Have your looked into other visas you could get for the US besides a j1? I think theres an Internship USA program you can do if you have a professional qualification. Maybe if you can meet those requirements you could get a career break from work and go test out your motivation for the USA and possibly have a back up here.

The first thing is to stop thinking negatively- be glad you have possibilities and enjoy investigating them- just be smart about it.

oB1

castaway_lady wrote: »

OP 1/4 life crisis are very normal and can be fairly useful in terms of focusing the mind and not drifting on till your late 20s to make your next set of decisions.

A huge plus is having a good fulltime job. The core question there is do you like the nature of the work or is it that you're thinking about adventure elsewhere and the j1 thing?
A part time degree is something you should definitely be seriously looking into, one that has step off points i.e. higher cert after so many modules, ordinary degree then, hons degree if you wanted to go on....that would also give you more social contacts with the other people on the course....going for a drink after evening classes etc. If thinking of fulltime college, no you're not too old, never too old. Your college experience may very well be a bit different though. It was for my brother who had a few years working before returning to fulltime ed. You'd be in classes with a lot of wild young lads, you'd definitely miss the money. So you need to think if you're thinking about this with the j1 tinted glasses only.

Its natural to look at others lives and make comparisons, natural but not helpful. They're singing off their own hymn sheet. How many have emigrated because they didnt have an option? How many regret marrying young? You dont know!
Have your looked into other visas you could get for the US besides a j1? I think theres an Internship USA program you can do if you have a professional qualification. Maybe if you can meet those requirements you could get a career break from work and go test out your motivation for the USA and possibly have a back up here.

The first thing is to stop thinking negatively- be glad you have possibilities and enjoy investigating them- just be smart about it.

Thank's so much for your thoughtful responses! -- it does mean a lot to know there are others out there who actually understand where i am coming from.. a lot of people i tell these things to just brush me off or tell me i am being silly.. but its something that is deeply affecting me mentally and even physically RE bad eating habits from stress etc.

I feel lost in the abyss that is "young life decisions" -- not sure what direction to go in.. it seems each option i think of has its own merit and positives/negatives to it.

I do not hold a degree, and i definitely want one sooner rather than later so i am at least sure about that much be it full or part time.

I want to follow suit with my passion in IT, obtaining my degree in Computer Science, again, at least i know that much.

When it comes to making the decision to go full time college (sacrificing the steady income and experience being built up in the industry) or switch to part time study ( sacrificing the young, student lifestyle, something that only comes around once.. sacrificing the other opportunities that come with studying full time.. Internships, J1's etc etc... )

I guess above all else, that is where my main hearth-ache lays.. not knowing what direction to go in with that..

RE: The J1 and going to America.. that is EXTREMELY important to me.. i lived there for 4 months last summer, and have been to each corner of the US at least once a year for the past 5/6 years.. I am in love with the place and would love nothing more than to settle down there permanently.. but the VISA system is difficult and the only working Visa's currently available to me would be the J1 (summer and Graduate), Marry a US girl, or get employed by a US company and get them to sponsor me.. in order for me to even be looked at by a US company i would need a degree and some experience.. hence my want to get a degree as soon as possible.

If i went back to full time college at least i could get a taste for working life in America on the J1 every summer and then once i am finished the degree i could go on the graduate Visa; hopefully opening more doors for me.

lots to consider....

Rob

castaway_lady

Well then I think you're not so much in a life crisis, moreso at the last stage of making a decision- actually sounds like you have it made just make the jump back into 3rd level. You clearly know where you want to be, moving your life and career towards the USA. That's great. Now the next step is the plan of action:

- Which course of study? Look at all options. Sometimes part time can mean 2 week nights and Saturdays thereby letting you get to degree level fairly fast. You need to look at course specifics and talk to people over courses. Look also at Griffith College, they do part time options that can be done as fast as fulltime as far as I know.
- Pick a course with good work experience (UL have an excellent reputation on that). Maybe you can go abroad to do that too?
- If its to be fulltime ed you'll need to wait for the next CAO period. So plan your finances in the meantime. Look into part time work options with your current skills base.

- Get excited about your future, you have options, you have an exciting goal in sight. You just have to get the nuts and bolts of the plan of action operational and then make the leap.

LegacyUser

At the moment you may feel stuck with where you are and that your friends are moving on with there lives. The reality is that you have to look into in more detail about the options open to you.

If you decided to go back to college full time I would consider looking into the courses in the University of Limerick. They have some very good courses that include work experience.

I know that you are keen to move to the Usa. I would advise you to look at all Us visa's in detail. Even with a degree and experience it will be hard for you to get into the Usa for work. Also I know people who work in the Us and they work long hours and they don't get the same amount of holidays that we get here.
Long term you it could suit you to do contract work here or the uk, save up and go to the Usa for a few weeks every year to see and do the things you want.