22 yrs old clicked with a 16 year old

LegacyUser

Right so the other night I got chatting to a girl we had great chemistry and I ended up getting her number (We didnt do anything intamite just talked) afterwards I got told she was 16. Now I'm doing mental gymnastics here wondering if I should forget about her or not, ok she's 16 but she seemed more mature than most girls my age and we had really good chemistry I just don't feel like I would be preying on her or taking advantage of her if I where to follow up. So basically am I creepy perv ? I wouldn't have initiated the convo if I knew her age at first hand but after talking to her it seems silly to forget about her .


So what dyall think ?

I think you should leave her alone.

If she's really that mature and special, wait for her and get back in touch when she's older.

P. Breathnach

Would you be happy to involve her in social groups with your friends? Bear in mind that she is under legal drinking age, so if your social life is pub-based, then there is an extra complication.

Would you be happy to be involved in social groups with her peers? I presume that they are in Transition Year or 5th Year in school.

In short, are your lives compatible?

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Stay well clear. If you didn't have any doubts yourself, you wouldn't be here asking advice.

berrygood

While she might seem mature for her age, she is still only 16. If she was 18, I'd say off with you but 16 vs 22 just doesn't sit right with me. She is a child and not just in the legal sense. I'd say leave her be.

iusedtoknow

A simple question...

how would you feel about a 22 year old getting friendly with your kid sister or cousin. In all honesty, it wouldn't sit right.

She's 16, and so has limits as to what she can and can't do socially with you. At that stage, it isn't a mature/immature thing...it's just a life stage incompatibility.

Head for the hills

Tokyo

creepyoldman? wrote: »

Right so the other night I got chatting to a girl we had great chemistry and I ended up getting her number (We didnt do anything intamite just talked) afterwards I got told she was 16. Now I'm doing mental gymnastics here wondering if I should forget about her or not, ok she's 16 but she seemed more mature than most girls my age and we had really good chemistry I just don't feel like I would be preying on her or taking advantage of her if I where to follow up. So basically am I creepy perv ? I wouldn't have initiated the convo if I knew her age at first hand but after talking to her it seems silly to forget about her .


So what dyall think ?

To paint a picture for a second, you're old enough to have finished college - she's young enough to have just done her Junior Cert - with the best will in the world, you're not going to be able to sell a relationship with this girl to family, to friends, to anybody that you interact with really. And there are the legal aspects to contend with too - if you get into a relationship with this girl and things become intimate, can you honestly say that you will be able to hold back until she reaches age of consent?

I'm sorry OP, but when you make statements such as "she's 16 but she seemed more mature than most girls my age", it sounds like you're trying to sell the idea to yourself as much as you're trying to sell it to other people. The smart thing to do here is let the girl enjoy her teenage years with people her own age, and for you to find someone closer to your age.

unitedrover

Do you really want this hassle?

Society is against it and her family would most certainly be against it. If I were you, I would let her be and move on and find someone 18 or older anyway.

LegacyUser

Ye're all right, dunno what I was thinking.

diveout

She may look like a woman. SHe is a child. Leave her alone.

Sunny Dayz

The age difference between you and this girl is the same difference (6 years) between me and my husband.


We started seeing each other when I was 20. Big difference between 16 year old me and 20 year old me though!


My advice would be, if you feel there is a connection there, stay friends with her, and in a few years when the time is right - well then who knows...


One of my friends started going out with a 21 year old when she was 16 - 12 years later they are married with one child.

MJ23

She's jailbait lad. Go for someone closer to your age.

dgt

I know a chap personally that was in the same position, except it was his GF. He used to collect her from school in his car, put up pics of them on fb and all :eek:

Needless to say, that didn't last very long. Though they looked like they were a happy couple, I think they split up because she wasn't mature enough mentally to sustain such a relationship..... Plus, every other person that knew him was quite shocked that his gf was too young. Don't think the parents were too happy either, surprise surprise

When I was 20, I met this one in a nightclub and after chatting for a bit, found out she was 16. Needless to say, I ran a mile. I knew it would have been totally wrong morally and legally to do anything more than chat and therefore I left it at that.

Take what you want from either of my stories

Bafucin

I just don't feel like I would be preying on her or taking advantage of her if I where to follow up.

You would be.

Legally it could destroy your life. Leave it. Don't play games with such consequences.

You will meet other girls over 18 with a connection.

I notice with guys who have dated girls too young it tends to become a habit.

IlmoNT4

Age of consent in Ireland is 17.....

Delete number and forget it.... You could be making yourself a target, criminal record etc etc .... Plenty of ladies out there 18 +

mrty

creepyoldman? wrote: »

Right so the other night I got chatting to a girl we had great chemistry and I ended up getting her number (We didnt do anything intamite just talked) afterwards I got told she was 16. Now I'm doing mental gymnastics here wondering if I should forget about her or not, ok she's 16 but she seemed more mature than most girls my age and we had really good chemistry I just don't feel like I would be preying on her or taking advantage of her if I where to follow up. So basically am I creepy perv ? I wouldn't have initiated the convo if I knew her age at first hand but after talking to her it seems silly to forget about her .


So what dyall think ?

I would give that one a miss, the chemistry will still be there a few years down the line.

Rubberchikken

Let it be.
Big difference between 16 and 22 and i dont mean numbers-wise.

ted1

I'd consider that grooming.

skooterblue2

Remember the Sex Offenders List doesnt make distinctions:
This means if you are on the list for statutory rape..... you are in the same class as a full fledged Paedo.
This means you will have to sign on once a week, cant travel more than a few miles without asking permission from the guards/ probation Officer. Cant leave the country with out asking permission..... supposing any country will allow you in. Back ground checks will instantly raise a red flag, anything that ever happens your house will be the first one to be turned over..... Think about it ...... do you really want that complication in your life for the sake of a bit of tail ..... plenty of other girls out there to have fun with...... leave it a few years

MugMugs

ted1 wrote: »

I'd consider that grooming.

I'd consider that a bit harsh. The lad asked a question. No need for any implications

SaoirseRose

Met a 23 yr old when I was 16 - that lasted 5 years. So I'd be slow to say 'no' straightaway. That said, I know a lot of 16 year olds who can barely wipe their own arse these days so it really depends on the person.

Only you know yourself if she is mature enough to handle an adult relationship, no one here can tell you that. Go with your gut.

Also re: sex, you can have a physical relationship that doesn't involve sex, if you're that keen on her then make sure you hold off on it until she's ready/ legal.

Y2KBOS86

When is she 17?

Jboss

He can pack her lunch before she goes to school lol

unitedrover

SaoirseRose wrote: »

Met a 23 yr old when I was 16 - that lasted 5 years. So I'd be slow to say 'no' straightaway. That said, I know a lot of 16 year olds who can barely wipe their own arse these days so it really depends on the person.

Only you know yourself if she is mature enough to handle an adult relationship, no one here can tell you that. Go with your gut.

Also re: sex, you can have a physical relationship that doesn't involve sex, if you're that keen on her then make sure you hold off on it until she's ready/ legal.

Back in school I knew girls round that age who would always be bragging about being with older guys. Bottom line is if things go wrong the older man, the OP, is the one going to take the blame regardless of how mature a 16 year old girl may be.

Raminahobbin

Honestly, if you really click with her, find out when her birthday is. Then just wait. It can't be that far away!

tenifan

creepyoldman? wrote: »

So what dyall think ?

Half your age + 7 is a good rule.. chances are she's too young. If you want to look like a fool while she runs around doing silly teenage things, and waste your time with her as she finishes her leaving and college, only to get dumped at the end of it.. then go for it.

LegacyUser

You were told she was 16? By whom?
People say the most stupid of things dressed up as fact.

Find out for sure before walking away.

If she is 16 I'd leave it though

SaoirseRose

unitedrover wrote: »

Back in school I knew girls round that age who would always be bragging about being with older guys. Bottom line is if things go wrong the older man, the OP, is the one going to take the blame regardless of how mature a 16 year old girl may be.

I assure you there was no 'bragging', I kept to myself in school.

LegacyUser

At 16 and 22 there is to big an age gap and life experience between you.

At 16 she had just finished her junior cert or transition year meanwhile you could still be in college or working. Your friends will make comments. She won't be able go to the pub with you or go away at weekend ect like someone near your own age would.
Her parents won't be happy either with you going out with her.


My advice to you is not to get involved with this girl as she is to young for you no matter how she comes across or hot you think she looks.
You could meet someone near to your age and who would have more in common with as you would have both done your leaving, gone to college or worked for a few years.