arguing with girlfriend quite a bit

frankythefish

do all couples argue? i find myself arguing with my girlfriend quite a lot. i look around and i get the impression sometimes that all other couples are lovey-dovey. i worry perhaps that it is a bad sign for our future.

sblythe

Honestly, no. My girlfriend and I don't argue quite often. Or rather, not often enough for either of us to bring it up. Maybe you should bring it up with her. Its always nice to talk about things.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Depends on how long you've been together. The shorter the time, the more lovey dovey thigns appear.

danniemcq

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ArtyC

All couples argue, it differs though - would depend on the reason for arguments and length of the relationship for me

Stavro Mueller

What do you mean by "quite a bit"? What do you argue over?

desbrook

Yes is a bad sign if you argue a lot. In an old relationship I was told again and again it's normal etc etc. I never did feel it was normal and I was right. I'm over two years with my gf now and we hardly disagree on anything never mind argue. Bliss.

bee06

I don't argue with my husband. I would say it's probably normal to argue every now and then because most couples don't agree on everything but a lot is not good. Also depends on how you resolve the arguments. Are ye clearing the air after and discussing the issue or is it similar issues coming up over and over which are not being resolved?

Typer Monkey

ArtyC wrote: »

All couples argue, it differs though - would depend on the reason for arguments and length of the relationship for me

This isn't necessarily true. I've only ever had one argument with my soon to be husband. We never bicker and have never raised our voices at each other.

OP could you give us an example of what you are arguing about? Is it bickering or door slamming, shouty rows? I honestly don't think doing either regularly is a sign of a healthy relationship

hoodwinked

another couple here who don't argue, we might disagree on certain things at times, or get snappy at one another on rare occasions, but we are both quite good for talking things out and sorting them out, so they never blow up into an argument,



i suppose it depends on the argument, if it's something like fighting over should you need do up a room or not? or spend money on something, it can be somewhat normal even though other couples don't.


if it's jealousy fueled/anger fueled/emotionally fueled then maybe not.

LegacyUser

Getting married soon, been together over a decade and we fight like cat and dog (verbally, not physically).

In my family, if you have an issue you say it and clear the air, therefore arguments are not common. In his family, if you have a problem, then you bury it deep and brood on it, therefore arguments are not common.

He doesn't communicate (learning to but it is slow) his issues, he just sulks and this drives me mad. I confront, he gets defensive, we have a big argument and finally he spits it out. Equally, if I have an issue, I tell him straight up, which he takes as me attacking him.

It is just the way we are, I would prefer for him to be more open, he would prefer for me to be less open. They are arguments about specific things though. They never, ever get personal. Once you say something, it can't be unsaid is the way we look at it. We can go from arguing to being totally normal in 5 mins, once the air is cleared.

On the other hand, it has introduced a new level of confrontation into his family life which I feel terrible about. I was at his parents house a few years ago and his mother was crying cos he told her straight up that something was not right and nobody had ever spoken to her like that before. He wasn't being horrible, just factual. He just told her that she needed to be more careful when she was parking the car cos she had dented the boot and one of the doors in the space of a week.

Essentially, everyone is different. It works for us because it clears the air and we are still on different levels communication wise, but it never impacts our life negatively. Some people never argue, but if you are both feeling happier after the argument because the air is cleared and it is the only way, that is ok too.

ladygirl

My OH and I never argue. To be honest like other posters we rarely disagree.

I was in a previous relationship where we fought like cats and dogs - I hated it and knew it wasn't normal..

Holsten

I never argue with my girlfriend, with ex girlfriends we'd argue all the time over stupid, stupid stuff.

Not a good sign.

KT10

Myself and my girlfriend of 2 years have argued once over something serious and thats it, brutal honesty keeps us from getting wound up at each other and I have to say I've never been happier.

My ex however, well, towards the end we were argueing on an almost weekly basis, it became too much so I ended it and its the only relationship I never had those "Did I do the right thing?" thoughts about.

Let me ask you a question OP, when you meet up with someone and they ask, "Oh hows your GF?" whats your very first thought? For me with my ex, it was the last thing we argued about, every time, it was the biggest sign I took that the relationship wasn't healthy so thats when I decided to do something about it.