3 year old talking herself to sleep

pwurple

Has anyone else seen this? 3 1/2 year old has suddenly started singing or talking herself to sleep. It takes ages, started at about 20 mins, up over two hours tonight. It's completely wrecking my head at the moment, because it wakes up the baby who is supposed to be sleeping in there. I've got the baby sleeping in the kitchen now, will move her up at midnight.

Going on about a week. Getting worse every night.

Any ideas on how to get past this? I've explained to her every night about waking the baby. We have a solid enough routine, pj's, brush teeth, 2 stories.. She is talking away to imaginary friends, and singing songs she has made up. I don't want to stomp all over some developmental leap, but this can't go on.

meeeeh

The older one used to tell himself stories and so on before going to sleep. Usually I would just tell him to go to sleep and most times it wouldn't work. The younger one is a complete head case. She throws out of cot everything that is not screwed to the wall including socks if she is wearing them and blankets. She is rolling around kicking and laughing for about an hour before she goes to sleep. I don't think the older one could sleep with not even two year old lunatic besides him. I keep them in separate bedrooms.

Big Bag of Chips

She sounds wound up!! What does she do before pjs, brush teeth etc? Is she watching telly? Playing computer games? Running around? It sounds like her brain hasn't had time to wind down.

When our eldest was about 2 he used to sing himself to sleep. He was a big Dubliners fan and would put on a little concert for himself... introducing the song, singing it, giving himself a cheer at the end, and then introduce the next song etc.

It was a phase with him, and he did grow out of it... Unfortunately! It used to be lovely standing outside the door listening to him!

Pawwed Rig

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

When our eldest was about 2 he used to sing himself to sleep. He was a big Dubliners fan and would put on a little concert for himself... introducing the song, singing it, giving himself a cheer at the end, and then introduce the next song etc.

That is hilarious:pac:. I hope you got a video of it for the future.

How Strange

Is she napping during the day? Is she tired going to bed? We've noticed if our 3.5 year old naps in crèche that he's wired for hours in the evening and can't fall asleep until 9pm.

He's always given a running commentary of the days events since he was a baby but he has to go through every little detail of the day before he falls asleep. Thankfully the 15month old is out cold and sleeps through the songs etc

Has something big changed in her daily life recently? Apart from the sibling of course who she's probably used to by now. That's the only other thing we noticed with our son. If he's trying to process some big change it usually comes out in his sleep.

We had to ban scooby doo last year (his granny bought him the dvd!) as it was scaring the be jaysus out of him so he was screaming and shouting in his sleep at night.

pwurple

Thanks for the replys. No naps for a year now maybe... The big chamge is the sibling, but she is 5 months. Nothing else really.

Before bedtime is dinner at 6 ish, then tidy-up. Then we go for a walk if it's dry, or do colouring if it's raining. No telly after dinner, but she watches tv at around 4pm with a cracker and cheese for her grouchy time of day, for a rest.

It does seem like she is wound up, she replays the whole day with conversations.

What do i do to help her to wind down?

She is up early every day, around 7:30. But she has bags under her eyes the last few days, defo needs more sleep.

I'd love separate bedrooms for them, and planning permission is in, but we've a two bed house and we might not be able to build for years yet.

My husband says we should just get cross with her and do the naughty corner etc, but i don't think she is doing this on purpose, and pulling her out of bed for naughty corner would just turn bedtime into a fight.

diveout

I don't know. It could be her way of self soothing. I would just leave her to it and not interfere with her process.

Sligo1

Hiya pwurple, could the walk be stimulating her at all? What about reading stories for a half hour before bed in a room that's not too bright?

vicwatson

She's just releasing her thoughts from her busy day. It'll pass.

Sligo1

vicwatson wrote: »

She's just releasing her thoughts from her busy day. It'll pass.

Or perhaps maybe talk through the days events together before bed for half hour? Then make sure she knows bedtime is quiet time (which i know uve told her already)... Might be worth a try....

2xj3hplqgsbkym

From an outsiders point of view it sounds really cute that she tells herself stories and sings herself to sleep.

However I know from your point of view it is just frustrating that the baby is wakened.

Is it really a big deal to keep the baby downstairs or in your room sleeping for a few hours?

It is certainly not something I would punish, she is not being bold, in fact she is being so good. If my 3 year old couldn't get to sleep he would be calling me up every minute looking for water, wanting to get up etc...

If you make her bedtime later would that help?
Would a massage help relax her?
How about a lullaby/music cd or mobile type/glo worm type thing? Or a cd of fairy tales?

I would guess it is a phase. Maybe because she finds it hard to sleep with someone else in the room. I know my 3 year old hates sharing the room with his little sister and loves when we visit his grandparents and he can have his own room.

Big Bag of Chips

Yeah - I think maybe have the walk earlier if you can, and then for half an hour before she goes to bed, sit down with her and let her spill it all out. It's definitely not something she is doing on purposes, it's just stuff that's all in her head and she's thinking about it so much she just has to get it out.

If she says all the things she needs to say before going up to bed, she mightn't be as inclined to do it all again while in bed. What time does the baby go to bed? What time does she go? It might be worth (depending on routines) getting the baby down first and then giving her the half an hour full on attention to hear all about her day. It's a great way too of finding out if anything is troubling her. Or maybe bring her in to your room, to lie down on your bed for "a chat". And then when it's bed time it's bed time.

Mine love "a chat" every night before bed, and you can see them all lining up all the things they are going to tell me. Sometimes desperately trying to come up with something, just to get that extra 5 minutes!

Work with her, if you can. Don't stop her from talking, but try find a work around that works for everyone.

How Strange

Sorry I thought she was talking in her sleep.

If it's before she goes asleep it's exactly like my son and, as I said already, he's done it since he was a baby. I think the baby wil get used to the constant babble after a few nights. Ours does although it was woke her for the first week of sharing.

He goes to bed about an hour after her now so we know she's asleep. I've tried asking him about his day before bedtime, I've asked not to make noise when he goes to bed etc but he still does it. He makes up songs and has conversations with his pals. Some nights we turn on the monitor and are cracking up laughing at his little night time production. It's just his way of winding down. I don't think we can change it.

All I can say is your baby will most likely get used to the noise very quickly and she'll sleep through it.

meeeeh

What about a small bribe if she is quiet.

I remember we had quite a few problems with our older boy at this age. He used to sleep in completely dark room but we had to get him a night light. He slept better through the night but he didn't go to sleep as quickly. Also longer evenings do make a difference for our two and it takes longer for them to go to sleep.

Suucee

A done this for ages afrer L was born . Shes only 2. It started when L was about 2 months and went on for about a month or more until we jigged the routine around a bit. She would talk and sing fir over an hour but some nights would get overtired and wouldnt be able to fall asleep. Now shes normally straight to sleeep or within 15 mins anyway. We have dinner at 6. Bath 6.30. Bowl cereal and cartoon (pajanamals) at 7. Storys on the couch with daddy and L at 7.15 then teeth and up to bed. They dont share a room though .

hoodwinked

My daughter started doing that around the same age, luckily for us she is in a room by herself so it never bothered us, she is 5 now and she still does it, sometimes she recites conversations or songs she's learned that day or makes up conversations for her dolls and teddy's...i think its her way of remembering her day, moving what happened into her long term memory as things she recites she will follow up a few days/weeks later with "mom remember that song that goes like this *sings*"


i would say for now maybe let the baby sleep with you, or maybe find a way for the baby to fall asleep while noise is going on in the background, if she's too loud just encourage her to lower the volume to an almost whisper, i wouldn't stop her from doing it however.

pwurple

Ah jeez, 5! That's no end in sight.

Baby can't sleep with us, can't fit a cot in our room... I'm leaving her sleep in the kitchen for now, but that really isn't going to work for much longer. We can't even have a chat in the evenings ourselves with her there. It's a small open-plan house, there's nowhere else except outside!

There is no volume control on her... It's not like babbling, good bit louder than that. Maybe if I work on her figuring out a quiet-voice.

I'll try switching up the routine to tv instead of walk, or chat instead of walk and see how that goes.

Big Bag of Chips

Or could you put her to bed in your bed, leave her chat away until she falls asleep and then move her into her own room when you are going to bed?

How Strange

The *only* thing that seems to minimise the bedtime chatter for us is to keep him up later so he's very tired going to bed. The less tired he is the louder and longer it goes on.

pwurple

We went for our evening walk before dinner, turned on the tv now while I check out internetz. She is doing gymnastics on the couch instead of watching anything though. Might be one of those people who can't relax.

Suucee

How did it go. Or is it still going?

pwurple

Didn't really work. I think she got overtired today, she lay down on the playground by the slide in the morning and said she was tired...unheard of for her. Was resting her head on me at dinnertime yawning as well, but from about 7 on -> Livewire.

Got about an hour of chatter, which was slightly better. Maybe if she catches up on sleep tonight it will be better over the next few nights.

That, or she is moving out!