How to build self esteem

LegacyUser

Hi,
I have been going to counselling/ therapy for a few months now. While some aspects of it are going well, such as understanding my root cause of my low self esteem and the situations which can trigger my negative self beliefs. Iam still struggling to move forward from this, as in how to become more self compassionate towards myself, so that I don't struggle with the negative thinking and let it rule my life. Basically how do you become more kinder to your self and how do you handle the disappointments in life?

I think another part of me is frustrated at myself, as I am becoming more aware of how this effects my life and having a happier life. Sometimes I feel very upset with myself, as Iam gaining more awareness of myself and how my actions are effecting my friendships and past relationships. This week has been a very tough week in regards to this and Iam starting to feel very down and upset. I feel like Iam regressing rather than moving forward!

What Iam asking has anyone been at this point of their lives and how did they build up their self esteem?

Rubberchikken

First off, well done for going to counselling and sticking with it.
Maybe it's beginning to work, you know where sometimes things get worse before they start getting better.

When you find yourself thinking negatively about yourself, tell yourself what a strong, good person you areand keep telling yourself that.
Take care

LegacyUser

Hi Rubberchicken,
Thanks for responding back to my post. What you suggested is what I really struggle with! If I try to think of positive things or positive things people have said about me, I attack these thoughts with the negative ones and belittle myself with these thoughts. Its very frustrating at times as you can imagine.
I have very little friends and I think at this stage they are tired of listening to my issues, so I am trying not to be all doom and gloom. I feel its very habitual it with me, to be stuck in the negative.

LegacyUser

You can try positive affirmations OP. Whenever you have a bad or negative thought about yourself, try imagine a big STOP sign. Then imagine yourself rewinding, erasing the negative thought and replacing it with a new one. ie "I am worthy" "I am strong", or whatever feels right for you. Keep doing this and you will begin to think these good thoughts automatically, as your mind starts to get out of that negative cycle. But I also think you'll find that if you stick with therapy you will become kinder to yourself anyway.

Good luck.