An identity issue

LegacyUser

Hi I came out as a certain way many years ago. Initially there was warfare within the family, now things are civil,a good deal calmer but there's no real warmth,and certainly no real acceptance, while not wanting to stereotype, this is worse amongst the men in my family. I'll be in their company at the weekend. To be honest I'm worried that I'll be overcome by sadness and cry. I'm a sensitive person and the lack of acceptance by family, especially when I'm amongst them can be very to take . I sometimes become very embittered, very angry, not as much as I used to, but it can be very bad at times.

Just wanted to share it somewhere, thanks

Dellnum

Could you sit them down and tell them what you told us.

Rubberchikken

Their inability to accept you as the person you are is their problem.

They probably feel uncomfortable and self conscious and maybe lacking maturity.
Try not to let it get to you. It's their shortcoming but if you just get on with things chances are in time they'll become more relaxed with things.
Good luck

Lou.m

wordswordspierce wrote: »

Hi I came out as a certain way many years ago. Initially there was warfare within the family, now things are civil,a good deal calmer but there's no real warmth,and certainly no real acceptance, while not wanting to stereotype, this is worse amongst the men in my family. I'll be in their company at the weekend. To be honest I'm worried that I'll be overcome by sadness and cry. I'm a sensitive person and the lack of acceptance by family, especially when I'm amongst them can be very to take . I sometimes become very embittered, very angry, not as much as I used to, but it can be very bad at times.

Just wanted to share it somewhere, thanks

Firstly the issue is not yours. So don't internalize.

Well done on taking a brave step and telling people about who you are. I would consider writing a letter saying how you feel and asking them if they realize how much trust it took for you to tell them.

Also could you consider counseling with them even one session?

Is there someone in your family who could explain to the others?

Perhaps write a heartfelt letter. Maybe work on asking those who are better at accepting to help you?

Hugs OPxx

LegacyUser

After typing this post here, I followed advice, well sort of, and sent an email to this effect, there was no response and to be honest there never is.... Rejection really hurts, well maybe other's are less sensitive, but I take it to heart, you make an effort with someone but if they don't respond it absorbs enormous emotional energy....it's usually not too bad, as usually we are at a distance, but when we are together, and the lack of acceptance persists, the effect on me is quite severe. It hurts to see the other's play happy families, which I'm not part of.