Thinking like a guy?

Overheal

Been thinking about this a lot as I do my vacation and catch up with friends, most if whom are of the feminine persuasion and most of whom - even my sister - self-describe as "having a guy brain". Like it's either a badge of honor or it's just how they were raised or they think it's what guys want to hear.

But in the interest of discussion what does it all mean really? All of them would hardly be described as being tomboys - maybe one, possibly two have tomboy personality traits I feel like, but you know they're still all girls they do their makeup some love to gossip some don't some hated having a wedding others loved it etc but it can't think of any distinct traits that make you have "a guys brain" except maybe saying you aren't a Victorian era Barbie doll or something. For the most part I think there is just a lot of gender-neutral conversation or thought that both guys and ladies regularly get involved with that makes ladies think "this isn't ladylike it must be a guy thing"

Have you experienced this? Do you know someone who describes themselves as thinking like a guy? Are you one of those people who labels yourself as having a guy brain? Do you chug a pint of stout in a sundress or do you watch my little pony while also feeling comfortable talking about "un-ladylike conversation"? Is the whole "guy brain" thing just people trying to realize there are things we talk about in both camps?

seefin

I definitely have more in common with guys than women. I'm more interested in fashion etc than a guy and have no interest in sport but i never had any desire for marriage, kids, getting dressed up, anniversaries and getting flowers, romcoms etc. On the other hand I'm very soft hearted and emotional and wouldn't be masculine in appearance or anything. Again veering towards the male side, I click more with guys sense of humour, taste in tv comedies , music, books etc. I'm also more comfortable with the slagging offbeat conversation you often have with guys. While I have some good female friends, I don't actually have anything in common with them and do feela bit alien-it's more a 'there for each other, know each other well' kind of relationship. I've always felt like this. I reckon maleness/femaleness are on a continuum and I'm just closer to the centre than the stereotypical female.

Wompa1

Have come across many women who claimed to be more like one of the guys. The thing is, you add a woman to a group of guys and the dynamic changes. It doesn't change for the worse or anything but it's a different than if it was just the guys.

Some of the women who have claimed they were just like one of the guys were very pretty women who said they were told that by some of their male friends....so, maybe sometimes guys say that to make a woman more comfortable with them. I don't know completely but yes, Have heard this quite a lot!

alleystar

In my experience women who describe themselves as "one of the lads" are blatant attention seekers and in general, very irritating.

It's kind of similar to the select few who watch The Big Bang Theory and think they're nerds because of it. You're not a nerd you just like a ****ty comedy series.

beks101

This seems to be some kind of catchphrase, almost a fashionable, favourable description of oneself. Along the lines of those "all my best friends are male" women.

I don't quite get the need to isolate oneself from their own gender to be perfectly honest and find it quite narrow minded and sometimes a bit insulting.

When would you ever hear a man saying, "I've definitely got a female brain"? You might hear, "I love women, I love being around women, I love chatting to women, I understand women"...but never, "I definitely think like a woman".

seefin wrote: »

I definitely have more in common with guys than women. I'm more interested in fashion etc than a guy and have no interest in sport but i never had any desire for marriage, kids, getting dressed up, anniversaries and getting flowers, romcoms etc. On the other hand I'm very soft hearted and emotional and wouldn't be masculine in appearance or anything. Again veering towards the male side, I click more with guys sense of humour, taste in tv comedies , music, books etc. I'm also more comfortable with the slagging offbeat conversation you often have with guys. While I have some good female friends, I don't actually have anything in common with them and do feela bit alien-it's more a 'there for each other, know each other well' kind of relationship. I've always felt like this. I reckon maleness/femaleness are on a continuum and I'm just closer to the centre than the stereotypical female.

That, to me, is just a description of a personality. Neither distinctly more 'male-thinking' nor 'female thinking' in my eyes - just a woman who likes certain things and has certain life goals.

My boyfriend is the biggest rom com fan going, the cheesier the better. He spent the best part of Friday night nattering with my older female relatives about his family and our relationship. And he's all man, an absolute beast of a guy.

My best friend is an obsessive soccer and rugby fan, goes to matches regularly and could talk most men under the table when it comes to all things Premier League. She travelled to Brazil last month and hasn't stopped ranting about the World Cup since she got back. She's also blonde, glamorous, wears her heart on her sleeve, super-emotional, soft-hearted and an absolute weapon in any boardroom meeting. Acutely career focused and accomplished.

Me, I'm a big bag of emotions who cries regularly during soppy movies and sad songs; I'm also a cynical old bag with a stubborn streak and a tendency to withdraw emotionally when there's a pressing need to - in the office, in disintegrating friendships and relationships. I hate sports talk and am a bit of a technophobe; I'm the least maternal or broody person I know. I never dreamt of a big white wedding; I dreamt of shooting for the stars in my career and fighting with the best of them.

My emotions dictate a lot - if not most of - my life decisions and I find a great, warm, comforting affinity with many women due to this soft side; equally I've found the greatest friendships with some men due to my filthy, appalling sense of humour and capacity to shyte talk about politics, economics, sociology, philosophy, culture, travel and all the rest. I pride myself on my intelligence above all; I also love hair and makeup and getting tips on the best place in town to get a manicure. I also sleep with a big, stuffed toy seal. (My boyfriend borrows him when I'm out of town :pac:)

My friendships fall in line with all of the above and tbh, it's not a simple divide: some of the lads have the capacity to be incredibly emotionally honest; some of the ladies are absolute filth bags. Most of my friends have a glorious mix of both worlds.

In all honesty, I like to think we're past the point in society where the girls like pink and the boys like blue. I definitely don't "have a male brain". I'm just me.

pwurple

Ugh, hate it. Hate my little girl being called a tomboy because she likes trains and dinosaurs. Hated people saying I had a brain like a guy because I was good at maths and rubbish at languages in school.

I'm me. Bits of me are like some women, and bits of me are like some guys... Just like everyone else alive.

Have no idea why anyone would want to put themselves into a box like that.

meeeeh

beks101 wrote: »

This seems to be some kind of catchphrase, almost a fashionable, favourable description of oneself. Along the lines of those "all my best friends are male" women.

I don't quite get the need to isolate oneself from their own gender to be perfectly honest and find it quite narrow minded and sometimes a bit insulting.

While I find idea of a 'thinking like a man ridiculous' People that I am closest to are men. It is not a need to isolate myself from my own gender and I don't but I grew up among men and somehow I connected with some of them better than I ever connected with any woman. There is no big agenda against my own gender, no badge of honour.

As for the idea if male brain I really dislike it. it's stereotypical and it is a nasty way of saying women are emotional and silly and men are rational. I think like a man and am smarter than those women. It's a stupid way of putting down your own gender. And it's untrue.

Lou.m

I definitely think like a lou.m.

I am more like a lou.m than anything.

Lou.m

Lou.m wrote: »

I definitely think like a lou.m.

I am more like a lou.m than anything.

Well maybe except for sometimes a fairy.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Overheal wrote: »

For the most part I think there is just a lot of gender-neutral conversation or thought that both guys and ladies regularly get involved with that makes ladies think "this isn't ladylike it must be a guy thing"

This is an important bit I think. Unless something is specifically defined as female, it's often assumed to be male. Doing something gender-neutral like talking about politics, running a company, going hiking or whatever is just doing something if you're a man, if you're a woman your gender is suddenly relevant according to a lot of people. There was a good article in the Sunday Times today about Richard Linklater's new film Boyhood, the author made the point that with that title it's just a film about childhood and adolescence, if it was called Girlhood it would be perceived entirely differently. The things that are coded as female: being emotional, being concerned with your appearance, being gossipy etc are also almost exclusively traits that are considered negative. So you get the situation where "being just like a guy" is a positive description and "stop being such a woman" is used as an insult.

I used to be "just one of the lads, wahey" kind of girls, but I don't think of myself like that anymore. I don't do or think anything "like a guy", I do and think things like myself. Think of being a woman like winning an award and think of the wise words of Ron Swanson

Overheal

pwurple wrote: »

Ugh, hate it. Hate my little girl being called a tomboy because she likes trains and dinosaurs. Hated people saying I had a brain like a guy because I was good at maths and rubbish at languages in school.

on that note:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XP3cyRRAfX0

strobe

I think sometimes it's an insecurity thing. A girl feels she can't compete with other girls, in terms of attractiveness for instance, and by defining themselves as 'one of the guys' or 'having a man brain' etc, they allow themselves to side step these insecurities in their own heads. By telling themselves they aren't 'one of the girls', they find it easier to stop comparing themselves to the girls and coming up short in comparison.

meeeeh

strobe wrote: »

I think sometimes it's an insecurity thing. A girl feels she can't compete with other girls, in terms of attractiveness for instance, and by defining themselves as 'one of the guys' or 'having a man brain' etc, they allow themselves to side step these insecurities in their own heads. By telling themselves they aren't 'one of the girls', they find it easier to stop comparing themselves to the girls and coming up short in comparison.

That is nonsense. I was one

strobe

meeeeh wrote: »

That is nonsense. I was one

I italicised the word sometimes for a reason meeeeh. If it doesn't apply to you then it doesn't apply to you.

meeeeh

strobe wrote: »

I think sometimes it's an insecurity thing. A girl feels she can't compete with other girls, in terms of attractiveness for instance, and by defining themselves as 'one of the guys' or 'having a man brain' etc, they allow themselves to side step these insecurities in their own heads. By telling themselves they aren't 'one of the girls', they find it easier to stop comparing themselves to the girls and coming up short in comparison.

Right because all us women want is to compare ourselves to other women and compete with them. I used to have a majority male friends but most of the girls I was friends with (still would be but living in another country) were attractive and smart. I could find plenty of dumber uglier girls around to feel good about myself but unfortunately I liked my friends.

Edit: I pressed sent on previous post instead of delete when typing the reply. Btw saying "sometimes" is saying I know I am making an assumption with very little to support it so I will stick 'sometimes' somewhere to validate my argument because everything happens sometimes.

Gongoozler

I think strobe you made me realise I may actually have been one of those. I'm pretty unsociable and don't like many of the typical girly things and have always had self esteem issues, so yeah I think I've likened myself more with guys in part because it made me feel like I was better than girls, also because not being an untouchable unapproachable girl meant boys would like me. It worked

I still disassociate myself with the feminist movement but that's because I believe in actual equality. But I suppose I should try accept it ok to be a girl. Or woman, as I am 30 now...

strobe

meeeeh wrote: »

Btw saying "sometimes" is saying I know I am making an assumption with very little to support it so I will stick 'sometimes' somewhere to validate my argument because everything happens sometimes.

No, saying sometimes means some of the time, rather than all of the time. It makes no reference to what I may or may not have to support it, whether it be a little or a lot.

I'm too tired to play silly buggers right now meeeh. My post wasn't any kind of personal dig at you or anything. Was just my musings on the topic based on my observations as I've gone about my life, much like anyone else's in the thread. Don't take it so personally.

meeeeh

I actually did not take it personal, I just dislike the notion that women always compare themselves to other women. Men are stereotyped as level headed and above such nonsense and sometimes you get the impression that women are considered these insecure creatures who get into a tizzy whenever they see someone wearing nicer shoes as them. I actually don't believe that women are half as insecure and competitive as stereotypes imply.

Personally I like being around men because it gives me a chance to stay guarded. I always kept my personal desires, wishes or feelings mostly to myself and in my experience in cross gender friendships (or at least mixed group of friends) you will be a lot more likely discussing economy or music than feelings. That is all for me, there is no male brain, not even a conscious effort to make people like me or anything like that.