Explanation of the demise of the Celtic Tiger

barneysplash

Our economy goes down the drain.

Packaged peas with the salt tablet "disappear" from sale in supermarkets.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Hotfail.com

Microwaveable pancakes also seemed to have disappeared with the Celtic Tiger.

catallus

Packaged peas?

Full of green peaness.

barneysplash

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Microwaveable pancakes also seemed to have disappeared with the Celtic Tiger.

So essentially you're saying if we get Findus Crispy Pancakes back, our GDP to debt
ratio would magically dip below the threshold 3.7% mark overnight?

everlast75

The Country Iceland goes under and shops of the same name dissappear at the same time.

Coincidence?

Hotfail.com

barneysplash wrote: »

So you're saying if we get Findus Crispy Pancakes back, our GDP to debt
ratio would magically dip below the threshold 3.7% mark overnight?

Yes.

Tail Docker

I blame the fact that after two years, decking looks crap and is slippy. People then no longer aspire to having decking. This reduces their need to work hard to be able to afford decking, so the economy starts slipping. Decking killed the Irish economy.

Hotfail.com

Tail Docker wrote: »

I blame the fact that after two years, decking looks crap and is slippy. People then no longer aspire to having decking. This reduces their need to work hard to be able to afford decking, so the economy starts slipping. Decking killed the Irish economy.

Economic growth hit the deck.

barneysplash

Some good points there that would have the pencil pushers in the Department of Finance quaking in their boots. There is no substitute for simple logic to solve any macroeconomic
crisis - let's get Ireland thinking!

Some other points for discussion:

• The sinister link between absenteeism at work and the absence of the
  Calor Housewife of the Year award.
  
  
• Correlations between spikes seen in the yield on 10-year Irish government debt bonds
  and the number of times RTE shows a film starring Hillary Swank as the midweek movie.

KungPao

The insanely high sales of breakfast rolls played a part too. We had taxi drivers getting loans to invest in sausage manufacturing. Sales assistants getting loans to invest in rubbery, barely edible rashers. Joe soap and Joe bloggs getting second mortgages to dump money into bread rolls and the "butter" used in the popular delicacy. It seemed like the good times would never end.

But basing the country's entire economy on flour and pork products proved to be a mistake.

I just hope we have learned our lesson. This must never happen again!

Tail Docker

KungPao wrote: »

The insanely high sales of breakfast rolls played a part too. We had taxi drivers getting loans to invest in sausage manufacturing. Sales assistants getting loans to invest in rubbery, barely edible rashers. Joe soap and Joe bloggs getting second mortgages to dump money into bread rolls and the "butter" used in the popular delicacy. It seemed like the good times would never end.

But basing the country's entire economy on flour and pork products proved to be a mistake.

I just hope we have learned our lesson. This must never happen again!

The Cupcake bubble didn't help either.

darkpagandeath

People now bring back their dirty clothes on returning from a foreign holiday.

Tail Docker

darkpagandeath wrote: »

People now bring back their dirty clothes on returning from a foreign holiday.

Unbelievable. How have we been brought so low? I never dreamt it would come to this.

mickydoomsux

Dog grooming was the economic cornerstone of most mid-sized Irish towns in 2007.

Hotfail.com

Social Welfare claimants shaming has tripled since the crash, so shut up the lot of ye and we can get back to listening to Eddie Hobbs everyday, drinking champagne in the hairdressers, and owning property we've never been to in Bulgaria.

ArtSmart

The Irish in cheap ski-suits at prestige skiing resorts* triggered the Swiss and Germans into action.

Rest is history.





* robbed off Tommy Tiernan.

Lapin

barneysplash wrote: »

So essentially you're saying if we get Findus Crispy Pancakes back, our GDP to debt
ratio would magically dip below the threshold 3.7% mark overnight?

Hotfail.com wrote: »

Yes.

Definitely yes.

The slump in sales of Findus Crispy Pacnakes caused the horsemeat industry to collapse. And Ireland boomed when the horsemeat industry was in full swing.

Thats the cause of your recession right there.

MortGoldman

Do you like cheese? Do you like peas? Well then you'll love cheesy peas!

endacl

It must have been the auld patio heaters. We borrowed loads of cash to buy gas from the Russians, then used it all up trying to heat up the outside.

ArtSmart

endacl wrote: »

It must have been the auld patio heaters. We borrowed loads of cash to buy gas from the Russians, then used it all up trying to heat up the outside.

Yes, Paddy at the BBQ is just....unnatural...like.

Tail Docker

ArtSmart wrote: »

Yes, Paddy at the BBQ is just....unnatural...like.

I believe this also explains the current exodus to Aus - deprived of their barbeque fix here at home, thousands have gone in search of the real thing. Burnt burgers are highly addictive.

takamichinoku

It was never going to stay together once Charlie Haughey passed on, he was the heart of the country, the one person holding it all together.


...I've a neighbour who has legitimately said ****e like that^

Harry Palmr

Plentiful Money - Expensive Houses - No one can move.
Shortage of Money - Cheap Houses - No one can move.

Esroh

Tail Docker wrote: »

The Cupcake bubble didn't help either.

This is where we should have all seen the warning signs. When people started to sell Buns under the name Cupcakes we should have known a block of Apartment was only a block of Flats.

Tail Docker

Esroh wrote: »

This is where we should have all seen the warning signs. When people started to sell Buns under the name Cupcakes we should have known a block of Apartment was only a block of Flats.

I believe you'll find the problem lay firmly at the feet of people dopey enough to buy an overpriced plain bun with excess shyte on top and a fancy yank name. Same applied for the flats.

moc moc a moc

catallus wrote: »

Full of green peaness.

And is there a single one among us who doesn't enjoy the robust flavour of fresh peaness in their mouth?

Tail Docker

moc moc a moc wrote: »

And is there a single one among us who doesn't enjoy the robust flavour of fresh peaness in their mouth?

Ah, come on.

Filmer Paradise

takamichinoku wrote: »

It was never going to stay together once Charlie Haughey passed on, he was the heart of the country, the one person holding it all together.


...I've a neighbour who has legitimately said ****e like that^

Y'know, as much as I despised the awld bastid for the way he made corruption endemic in this country..........

I'd like to see how he might have dealt with the Troika & Europe when the brown stuff hit the fan.

Tail Docker

Filmer Paradise wrote: »

Y'know, as much as I despised the awld bastid for the way he made corruption endemic in this country..........

I'd like to see how he might have dealt with the Troika & Europe when the brown stuff hit the fan.

He would have been sat down by the econono-heavies and been told the way it was and the way it was going to be, same as Edna was.

Filmer Paradise

Tail Docker wrote: »

He would have been sat down by the econono-heavies and been told the way it was and the way it was going to be, same as Edna was.

Probably so, but I'd still love to see how it would've panned out either way.

Ye never know with that fooker.

SaveOurLyric

takamichinoku wrote: »

It was never going to stay together once Charlie Haughey passed on, he was the heart of the country, the one person holding it all together.

Thats so true though. Incontrovertibly proven by the fact that he was never concerned about making money for himself, but was fully busy selflessly dedicating his time to running the country.

Cristo. Remember when we thought owing AIB 300 thousand was big deal. Any self respecting small town tinpot businessmen with a pub or a field on the edge of town thinks nothing of being in hoc to them for about 10 million these days.