Mindless comment or...

LegacyUser

I just would like some perspective or opinions on the following comment that was made.

To give a bit of background, am 36 years old and I'm single. Would I like to meet someone? Yes. Has it happened? No. And over the years I've become less sensitive to this, and faced up to, yes I may not ever meet someone, and yes, I may not have kids. And I've faced upto mindless comments from people about my "singleism" and the fact am childless. Except when I get comments from my family.

My sister and I were quite close. But about 3/4 months ago, we fell out. This was partly to do with how she behaves and her behaviour towards me when she is around my Sister in Law. She just becomes a megatron ***** around her. And I was tired of being treated like the village idiot. The weird part is, my SiL actually treated my sister quite badly at one point, yet now thinks the sun shines out her bottom. I really dont think the sun shines out of her. But that is her business and probably something for another thread.

Anyways, to this evening, at my parents house, Im staying here, my sister's child was playing with a toy. I was playing with him. He'd taken the toy off a shelf. She came in and told the child to put the toy back on the shelf so that "he could look at (me) allllll night long".

I was a bit taken aback. Not wanting to add fuel to the fire, I didnt say anything. Due to sensitivity of whats already happened, I'm not sure if to take offence of not. I cant figure if it was a mindless comment, or if its supposed to be a bit like a jelly fish comment with a sting.

miamee

Did you leave something out or is that the whole story?! If so, I'm confused about the significance of telling your nephew to look at you?

loalae

I'm really sorry, I don't understand. Your sister said that your nephew could look at you all night long? Are you asking if that's something you should be insulted by?

LegacyUser

"She came in and told the child to put the toy back on the shelf so that "he (the male toy figurine) could look at (me) allllll night long"."

Rubberchikken

You'll never figure some peopke out, and you could waste your life letting their pretty comments hurt, or you coukd go on with your life and show them that you won't let their nasty barbs have any effect.

I'm convinced that jealousy is behind so much of this nonsense from people
Don't let it get to you.

December2012

Is what she said a reference to anything you've said? Because I really can't see what she said wrongly or insensitively

eviltwin

I don't get what part of what she said upset you It's a weird comment but apart from that I can't see anything offensive in it.

cactusgal

Was that supposed to be some coded reference to you "hanging on the shelf"? Sorry if I'm wrong, just trying to work out why the comment would be insulting.

Pawwed Rig

Being 'left on the shelf' is what I assume the OP means

dudara

I couldn't even begin to figure out that statement. And if it's a veiled reference to being on the shelf, then it's pretty damn obscure.

To be honest, I think the bigger question is why this gas bothered you?

Tokyo

I wouldn't even classify it as a mindless comment to be honest. It sounds like you are hearing digs where you want to hear them.....

thefeatheredcat

Mindless comment or... wrote: »

He'd taken the toy off a shelf. She came in and told the child to put the toy back on the shelf so that "he could look at (me) allllll night long".

TBH I didn't get it, thought it was a weird thing to come out with until someone else mentioned about being "left on the shelf".

If others are correct that it's a direct reference to that then I think it was intended as a witty catty comment. If that is the case, then I think she knew what she said and meant it, like why on earth would you tell someone to put a toy a child was playing with on a shelf so they can look at it for the rest of the night? Unless the child was being bold, which from the post I don't see evidence of included and I don't think that would be the entire approach in punishing.

However you didn't react. She wants a reaction, don't give her that satisfaction and don't be pushed by her to stoop to her level either.

If you don't know how it was meant, or how to react, then the simplest action you can take is don't dwell on it and don't react to it.

FreshKnickers

The only sense I can make of that comment, something like "Put Ken back up on the shelf there so he can look at Auntie OP alllll night long', is that your sister has an issue with you being there so much. But this was at your parents house. So it's not like you're alway hanging around at her house with her family and she thinks of you a bit as an unwelcome guest or at least that you've outstayed your welcome.

She could be trying to say you should go out more and not sit in every night. If so that's none of her business. Unfortunately no-one here can really tell you what she meant OP. We can only guess.

Snake

She's trying to insuaite that he's guy because he's hasn't got a girlfriend

ArtyC

Do not rise to this. That is what she wants. Better single than settling with anyone

Chocolate fiend

What do you think she was trying to insinuate? Maybe she just didn't want her son playing with the toy. I can't see an "on the shelf" reference because she was talking about putting the toy up there, not you. Maybe she was saying you don't move out of where you were? Are you living at home?

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

logic

It sounds like she was trying to make a smart comment but has failed miserably. As you can see from the responses here no one can really make out what she was getting at. It could have been an attempt at a light hearted joke, probably only she knows.

castaway_lady

"A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep"