About to Quit. Mad?

LegacyUser

When I graduated at the start of the recession, I got a job and was grateful for it. I worked extremely hard and I am good at it. As the years have gone on, the company has shrank, leaving me with the work of three people. This would be fine if it was just more advanced work, but the vast majority of my time is taken up with filing, answering the phone, typing correspondence, etc. I have a degree and masters in a technical area, which I now feel totally disconnected from. I do admin work mainly at best and to make it worse, the pressure is huge.

There have been ongoing issues with bullying in the company for years now, it is all swept under the carpet (no HR). I am making just over €25k before tax, etc, exactly the same as I did when I started. I cannot take the abuse anymore. I am shouted at, lied to, blamed for stuff, sworn at, treated like crap basically.

I feel so useless. Nobody would want to hire me and my career is going nowhere. I feel like I can't take it anymore. I struggle to sleep, get up, I cry on the way to work and when I get home. I have no money to spare. I just feel utterly hopeless. My family think that I should just quit because it is so horrible, I am inclined to agree with them. I can't take much more.

Any advice?

Mrs OBumble

The recession started in 2008 - I guess you got the job in 2009. How many other jobs have you applied for since then, and what is stopping you from getting one?

LegacyUser

I have stupidly qualified in a niche industry. There are three other companies on the island that do this sort of work. I have applied but there are internal frictions, previous issues with people not being loyal to the new company and I suppose that essentially at this stage I just feel so demoralised that I cannot see myself being worth a job. I had an interview, got offer a job at one and then got such an aggressive lecture about company loyalty, etc that I realised that it would be more of the same, just in a different location.

I feel that I have no options left in this industry now. I have been working there since 2008. Biggest mistake that I ever made. I don't know what to do. I am repeatedly told to hold onto any job, no matter how bad it is because I won't get another. I just cannot see a way out anymore. I have been certified off with stress in the past. They were the best three weeks of my life I think. I have bills to pay, etc but it has gotten to the stage now where I just can't deal with it. I am sitting in a toilet cubicle crying, again.

I will give you an example of what has happened this week. My boss promised the impossible to a client (physically impossible). He then sent me an email referring to previous correspondence (there is none). Accused me to lying, deleting the emails and the files (again, he never saved anything). He then lied about the implications of the work not being done on time. He has ranted and ranted, swore at me, shouted and threatened to make my life hell. I can't do anything about any of it but he is a thug and just treats people like ****.

My OH describes it as an abusive relationship. The longer I stay, the more worthless I feel, so I don't do anything. I just don't know. The pressure at work is now beyond me, the pressure at home is building rapidly. I haven't slept for more than an hour or two a night for weeks.

I have never been unemployed, never claimed social welfare. I work long, hard days but I just don't know what to do now.

tenifan

Regardless of how technical the area, anyone with several years' work experience in the one company, in a professional role, with a masters and a degree should be able to earn €25k.

Something doesn't sound right.. you didn't accept a job offer because your "realised it would be more of the same"? From the sounds of it, how could it be worse than where you are now?

Mrs OBumble

Broken and Battered wrote: »

IMy OH describes it as an abusive relationship. The longer I stay, the more worthless I feel, so I don't do anything. I just don't know. The pressure at work is now beyond me, the pressure at home is building rapidly. I haven't slept for more than an hour or two a night for weeks.

I have never been unemployed, never claimed social welfare. I work long, hard days but I just don't know what to do now.

On the basis of the bit I have put in bold, go to your doctor.

Tell him/her what's going on, and follow the suggestions given, even if these include long term sick leave and therefore going on welfare

From what you've said, it sounds like your OH has his the nail on the head, and that you may benefit from professional counselling (both personal and career focused) to help you find a way forward. However this is a possibility that you should explore with your doctor, rather than take up on the basis of recommendations from randoms here.

Immaculata

OP, if you can't approach your supervisor and ask for less work or more support or whatever will ease the strain on you, just quit. Life is short. Peace of mind is worth more than money. Unless you have a mortgage or similar commitment, quit straight away, go on social welfare, look for a different job, and relax. In an ideal world, you'd get a better job somewhere else, but if it comes to it, you can do similar admin-style work elsewhere, if necessary - you still won't have the opportunity to use your qualifications, but at least you won't be stressed out of your mind. If you're so stressed that you can't sleep, it won't be long before your health suffers.

LegacyUser

To give a bit of context, there used to be one company, but about 20 years ago, the employees went their separate ways and set up their own companies. The original has folded since but there are high levels of suspicion and unpleasantness between the existing companies.

I have heard that there is a very similar management style in each one, bullying is rife, pay low and generally there is a very high staff turnover. My former co-workers have emigrated, work in factories, etc. There is very little in the line of re-employment.

We are all equally underpaid in this company, I am far from the exception. Most are on minimum wage. The issue really is that I am tied to one area due to my OH's excellent job. I cannot up sticks and move to another city easily. Even if I did, I know for a fact that the competition are equally poor when it comes to pay and my chances of employment have been negatively affected by my association with my current company and my gender (it is an open secret that females are never the right person for the job in one company).

Ananda30

I was reading this thread to see if it was to give me any info as to where to go when I quit at the end of the month! Unfortunately no, but maybe I can help you.

I started with my company in 2008 as I couldn't find anything within my field. I spent years working super hard, breaking my balls for this place, and find that now I am managing a team while our manager carries out his own outside work interests in work. The amount of work I do is ridiculous. I make all the daily decisions for our team. I don't even get a thanks. A male colleague has been promoted ahead of me to supervisor although he does nothing more than before, after our own supervisor moved to manage another team, and I am now his PA, although I am not allowed to ask him for any assistance, as its not his problem and he doesn't care. I am now left with no support at all. Most of the people who work there hate the place but aren't leaving. They probably feel stuck too.. I see them getting grayer, more negative by the week.

As I get older I feel that I am respected less, as I come closer to having a family of my own. I have overheard the managers say that they know they are sexist, sure men are better than women at almost everything. They make light of illnesses that women suffer, they are cruel and sick in their banter at times. I hate being around that kind of energy.

I am at the end of my rope because I am exhausted with the people in there, but it took me a time to realise that I am unhappy outside work too. I am exhausted at weekends, in the evening, all the time. Take away work for a few days and I am still not settled, the fatigue doesn't really leave my bones. That is how I know I am done.

So I am handing in my notice and I am leaving it open to the Gods. Have you ever been in a bad relationship? And gotten out and realised how dumb you were, and how much better it is now?

It is probably time to remove the emotions and be logical:
Do you have savings?
Do you know you'll qualify for Job Seekers Benefit in 9 weeks after you leave?
Is it worth your sanity?

Even if I had to get a credit union loan for a few grand, I would be out that door. I cannot wait to lose the anger and guilt and bitterness. And work on myself, and find a better path.

You need to change, because it doesn't sound like they will.

Bepolite

I'd speak to a solicitor personally. While you don't necessarily have to 'go legal' they are excellent negotiators.

Chip Whitley

I was in a similar situation to yourself 3 years ago OP. Looking back I can't believe I put up with so much **** for so long. I'm not earning a whole lot more now than I was back then, but by God am I happier and far more stress-free. Jobs in my area are tough to come across too but I was lucky to get one when I left my last place. I actually ended up taking legal action when I left and they settled with my solicitor. I made nothing from the settlement after fees but I didn't care, I proved a point and have moved on.

Don't stay there so long that it changes who you are.

Fingers crossed for you.

LegacyUser

Hand in your notice and leave now OP! It's not worth your health & sanity to stay in the situation you are in.

I was similar to you a few years ago and it was such a relief when I eventually walked away. It was hard being unemployed and I felt a failure for a while for leaving what was seen as a very good job, but it was worth it. I didn't rule out any type of work and in the end I had to start at the bottom of ladder again, but going into work every day without stress and upset more than made up for that.

It's a very hard decision to make but please do something about it now before you become more beaten down than you are. Best of luck.

ongarboy

Don't limit yourself to the fact you work in a niche industry and assume you cannot apply your skills elsewhere. Bear in mind that there are a lot of transferable skills that people acquire in a job that they don't always necessarily recognise of themselves. Handling and resolving urgent or critical situations in a timely manner, meeting and exceeding internal users or external customer expectations, implementing and managing change, going beyond the call of duty, sucessful multi-tasking and prioritising, self management and a team player, excellent written and verbal communication and interpersonal skills. These are relevant and coveted skills in most if not all industries.

You may be asked to provide examples of each of these as compentency based questions in any future interviews you do and I'm sure if you delve deep enough in preparation for such likely questions, you will, as the hard and committed worker you say you are, be able to demonstrate examples of all of the above to any interviewer. These are the abilities and skills that recruiters look for. They don't expect candidates to know the granular detail of applications, systems and processes for a company they have never worked for so don't feel that because you are only familiar with your own company's systems that it makes you ineligible for other external roles.

For your sanity, I would actively start sending out CVs to as many roles as possible and broaden your search outside your niche industry. While industry experience is important, fresh perspective from candidates in other industries that can clearly demonstrate such highly coveted aforementioned skills in their CV and tailored cover letter will be noticed and welcomed by clever recruiters.

Broken and Battered

Broken and Battered wrote: »

To give a bit of context, there used to be one company, but about 20 years ago, the employees went their separate ways and set up their own companies. The original has folded since but there are high levels of suspicion and unpleasantness between the existing companies.

Perhaps it is time for another shake up?
Would you consider / be able to go out on your own?

Banjoxed

OP, if you and your OH can go to the UK to do your work, I strongly recommend you consider that. Your employer is taking the classic Irish employer "Ride 'em, Cowboy" attitude given the specialist nature of your work. If you can, get the hell away.