jerks in the gym

mrty

Hey, so recently started in the gym, im trying to put on a few extra pounds and of course I don't want this to be fat so I'm working out. Unfortunately I'm one of the dreaded ectomorph hard gainers, so tall and thin. Are all gyms nowadays just full of posing assholes. I've noticed now in several gyms these tanned up jerks who are in great shape, not massive, but very fit looking giving you dirty looks as if you shouldn't be there, like how dare you invade their space just because your thin. I mean big deal I'm thin, isn't that what gyms are for, trying to better yourself? I also heard a few smart remarks under their breath. If their so great say it to my face. A few of my friends are into the whole body building side of things and I mean these guys are massive, I remember before I moved I used to go with them just to keep fit and even though I was the size of these guys fingers they all made you feel welcome and tried to give you as much encouragement as possible. It was like they were delighted that someone else was joining the fraternity, even though it was obvious I could never come close to their size. Is this attitude a thing of the past what has happened to the encouragement and comradery of days past. Its odd because the ones who do this seem to just walk along a mirrored wall looking at themselves for the time their there. It really is not a welcoming environment and is enough to put me off. Oh does anyone know where I can have my RMR measured. Many thanks, disgruntled novice.

Edwardius

Ignore them. Nobody really cares what anyone else does. Even if they do, **** 'em, you're wasting time worrying about them and it doesn't matter anyway.

Alf Veedersane

The general population has a proportion of idiots. Take a cross section - gym goers, for example - and you'll find idiots.

In all cases, ignore 'em.

Deranged96

Small minds and big muscles, eh?
also "Jerks" is a weird american word...

Thephantomsmask

The only jerks I pay any attention to are the ones where I raise the bar from a rack position to overhead with locked elbows. Ignore them OP, when I started lifting in my old gym I got many mutterings and dirty looks from a small cohort as apparently fat girls shouldn't be taking up a squat rack. I had one person start bicep curling beside me and purposely flinging the dumbell at me with a grunt while I was deadlifting, I tore shreds off him when he managed to hit my plate when I was mid lift. Just concentrate on your own work and making progress.

Squatman

Thephantomsmask wrote: »

The only jerks I pay any attention to are the ones where I raise the bar from a rack position to overhead with locked elbows. Ignore them OP, when I started lifting in my old gym I got many mutterings and dirty looks from a small cohort as apparently fat girls shouldn't be taking up a squat rack. I had one person start bicep curling beside me and purposely flinging the dumbell at me with a grunt while I was deadlifting, I tore shreds off him when he managed to hit my plate when I was mid lift. Just concentrate on your own work and making progress.

What a dick.
There are dicks everywhere you go. I had the impression that gym goers were generally decent and helpful. but again, Dicks are everywhere

neil_

You'll have to forgive me for thinking that some of this is in your imagination. Maybe you have actually found multiple gyms full of dickheads, or maybe you just draw their ire more than I do, but it seems most likely to me that you're interpreting things far more negatively than you have any reason to. I have always found that people in the gym, irrespective of size or shape, are far nicer than the average randomer (and in the last few years I've been a member of 6 different gyms in 3 different countries so I have decent sample size). We're all in the gym for the same reason after all. There's always the odd dickhead but I've never found a whole gym full of them.

Regardless... Just pay them no heed and do your thing. You're paying the same money as them to be there.

mrty

neil_ wrote: »

You'll have to forgive me for thinking that some of this is in your imagination. Maybe you have actually found multiple gyms full of dickheads, or maybe you just draw their ire more than I do, but it seems most likely to me that you're interpreting things far more negatively than you have any reason to. I have always found that people in the gym, irrespective of size or shape, are far nicer than the average randomer (and in the last few years I've been a member of 6 different gyms in 3 different countries so I have decent sample size). We're all in the gym for the same reason after all. There's always the odd dickhead but I've never found a whole gym full of them.

Regardless... Just pay them no heed and do your thing. You're paying the same money as them to be there.

Hey, I agree in part, like you I have attended many gyms and have not experienced this attitude in every gym. However as I move a lot with work I attend many and have experienced this several times. To be fair I was generalising when I said jerks in gym I didn't mean every single gym user I thought that was implied by my original post. :-) thanks for the reply.

long range shooter

mrty wrote: »

Hey, so recently started in the gym, im trying to put on a few extra pounds and of course I don't want this to be fat so I'm working out. Unfortunately I'm one of the dreaded ectomorph hard gainers, so tall and thin. Are all gyms nowadays just full of posing assholes. I've noticed now in several gyms these tanned up jerks who are in great shape, not massive, but very fit looking giving you dirty looks as if you shouldn't be there, like how dare you invade their space just because your thin. I mean big deal I'm thin, isn't that what gyms are for, trying to better yourself? I also heard a few smart remarks under their breath. If their so great say it to my face. A few of my friends are into the whole body building side of things and I mean these guys are massive, I remember before I moved I used to go with them just to keep fit and even though I was the size of these guys fingers they all made you feel welcome and tried to give you as much encouragement as possible. It was like they were delighted that someone else was joining the fraternity, even though it was obvious I could never come close to their size. Is this attitude a thing of the past what has happened to the encouragement and comradery of days past. Its odd because the ones who do this seem to just walk along a mirrored wall looking at themselves for the time their there. It really is not a welcoming environment and is enough to put me off. Oh does anyone know where I can have my RMR measured. Many thanks, disgruntled novice.

One of the reasons why i have my own gym at home

Alf Veedersane

long range shooter wrote: »

One of the reasons why i have my own gym at home

So there won't be a thread on boards about how you're a jerk in the gym?

long range shooter

Alf Veedersane wrote: »

So there won't be a thread on boards about how you're a jerk in the gym?

he he well i guess its only my own ego i have to fight with then,lol,and the missus he he

Blackpanther95

I find the huge people are dead sound, its the skinny ripped ones who have attitude and thats because you could be just like them in 12-52 weeks (not long). On the other hand that 300lb guy has nothing to worry about, it'll be years before you can compete with his physique. The posing guys aren't always assh*oles, if you don't like that, its probably because you have certain issues with yourself. Some people pose to practice for competitions or put a nice finish on their muscles and NOT to make you feel uncomfortable. If your quite skinny you can change that in a couple of weeks of proper training and if your willing to do whatever it takes you can be built in no time, although I'd advise slow and steady, its easier on the mind.

Also who cares, if you pay your membership you have just as much right to be there as anyone else, just because my dog pisses in the field doesn't mean he owns it.

Justin1982

mrty wrote: »

Hey, so recently started in the gym, im trying to put on a few extra pounds and of course I don't want this to be fat so I'm working out. Unfortunately I'm one of the dreaded ectomorph hard gainers, so tall and thin. Are all gyms nowadays just full of posing assholes. I've noticed now in several gyms these tanned up jerks who are in great shape, not massive, but very fit looking giving you dirty looks as if you shouldn't be there, like how dare you invade their space just because your thin. I mean big deal I'm thin, isn't that what gyms are for, trying to better yourself? I also heard a few smart remarks under their breath. If their so great say it to my face. A few of my friends are into the whole body building side of things and I mean these guys are massive, I remember before I moved I used to go with them just to keep fit and even though I was the size of these guys fingers they all made you feel welcome and tried to give you as much encouragement as possible. It was like they were delighted that someone else was joining the fraternity, even though it was obvious I could never come close to their size. Is this attitude a thing of the past what has happened to the encouragement and comradery of days past. Its odd because the ones who do this seem to just walk along a mirrored wall looking at themselves for the time their there. It really is not a welcoming environment and is enough to put me off. Oh does anyone know where I can have my RMR measured. Many thanks, disgruntled novice.

I think your being a bit paranoid to be honest. Unless you've joined a statistical blip in the Irish gym scene. Most people in a gym just arrive, do their thing and head home. Might do a bit of shaping, might do a bit of looking at others and might be a bit pissed off if the gym is full and they can't get to use certain equipment they had planned to but its generally all civil, plenty of good will out there and the guys at it the longest will probably be more than happy to help you out. Sometimes if there is a new guy in the gym they get a few stares but its more novelty and checking out what they are there to do and if you need help with equipment.

As for being a "hard gainer", your most likely not (presuming your health is considered normal). Your probably just not a great eater. I was the skinniest rat when I went to the gym and remained so for a few years until a new gym instructor took an interest in me and what I was doing (which I found rather annoying). He kept sitting me down and telling me I was wasting my time as I wasnt eating enough calories or protein. He drilled it into me until I saw the light and a year later I weighted 105kg (muscle and fat) and was deadlifting 215kg having started on 80kg with a sore back. When I started eating the calories, I soon realized that I can't keep the weight off me.

Blackpanther95

You're probably not a hard gainer. Eat 6000+ cals a day. Take 1g of protein per pound of bodyweight. Work out 8+ hours a week.

Come back in 6 weeks, I'll bet you'll put on mass in no time!
What you probably have is a small stomach, so you get full easy and then think you've eaten enough. Try to expand that stomach. If you do the diet right you should feel sick of food all the time.

Thomas D

I guarantee you the looks are all in your head, reflecting your own insecurities.

MartyMcFly84

It does sound like you are a little bit insecure and reflecting this on others. But why worry about what people you don't even know may think? Do your own thing, improve, be nice and pass on positivity to others.

Keep focused on why you went to the gym in the first place, and enjoy your progress.

deadlybuzzman

MartyMcFly84 wrote: »

It does sound like you are a little bit insecure and reflecting this on others. But why worry about what people you don't even know may think? Do your own thing, improve, be nice and pass on positivity to others.

Keep focused on why you went to the gym in the first place, and enjoy your progress.

That's great advice for life in general!

Sniipe

I weigh 68kg. I would be reasonably fit, but lack upper body mass/muscle.
Anyway I was machine pressing 40kg. It part of the 5x5 stronglifts program. I know its not a lot. However I'm on it and these two guys stand opposite me waiting for my machine. I was on set 3 of 5. I do 5 at a time and rest for a minute.

Anyway, I get up after finishing the 5 sets (headphones on). Walk the short distance to the cleaner and wipe and wipe the seat as I was a bit sweaty.

As I leave, the bigger guy sits into the machine and lifts my 40kg and laughs.

It really put me off. I felt very self conscious after that. In my mind I think they were laughing at my pitiful weights. They could have been laughing at their own private joke.

I think it sounds very similar to the OP. In my mind, they were laughing at me, however its possible they were laughing at their own jokes...

Another thing, when people lift weights and are on their own they kinda wait around the next piece of equipment they are going to use... during that time they normally just look around out of boredom...

Alf Veedersane

It's possible they were idiots.

Either way, it shouldn't matter a damn.

I appreciate people feel self conscious in the gym starting off but you just have to get over that and get on with it. Everything is relative.



Except idiocy. That's measured in absolute terms.

Blackpanther95

Sniipe wrote: »

I weigh 68kg. I would be reasonably fit, but lack upper body mass/muscle.
Anyway I was machine pressing 40kg. It part of the 5x5 stronglifts program. I know its not a lot. However I'm on it and these two guys stand opposite me waiting for my machine. I was on set 3 of 5. I do 5 at a time and rest for a minute.

Anyway, I get up after finishing the 5 sets (headphones on). Walk the short distance to the cleaner and wipe and wipe the seat as I was a bit sweaty.

As I leave, the bigger guy sits into the machine and lifts my 40kg and laughs.

It really put me off. I felt very self conscious after that. In my mind I think they were laughing at my pitiful weights. They could have been laughing at their own private joke.

I think it sounds very similar to the OP. In my mind, they were laughing at me, however its possible they were laughing at their own jokes...

Another thing, when people lift weights and are on their own they kinda wait around the next piece of equipment they are going to use... during that time they normally just look around out of boredom...

As for machine pressing: its better to bench a barbell, trust me. And I can kind of understand why them laughing would be hurtful. I'm the kind of guy that would do 6 hours a day everyday until I have the last laugh... but I guess everyone doesn't wanna be a 300lb mass-monster. I think thats why they have gyms in america for people who want to slim down or put on a little bit of muscle ONLY, and not people who want to "make the side walk crack".

I guess your just going to have to take it on the chin.


As for the lads waiting for the machine you're using, why don't you get up and tell them you have a few more sets to do, but if they want to sit down and get a set in between yours (while you rest).

Yer Aul One

Lot of people saying the OP is insecure. I think there is a very high contingent of "jerks" in the gym.

Its a place full of testosterone and pretty boys. But the advice is right on here. Even if they are laughing their asses off at your pitiful 40kg press, who cares? Would you prefer to be them?? Defo not. Be happy you are a nice person and enjoy your progress!

Blackpanther95

Yer Aul One wrote: »

Lot of people saying the OP is insecure. I think there is a very high contingent of "jerks" in the gym.

Its a place full of testosterone and pretty boys. But the advice is right on here. Even if they are laughing their asses off at your pitiful 40kg press, who cares? Would you prefer to be them?? Defo not. Be happy you are a nice person and enjoy your progress!

There's alot of estrogen in my gym these days .

.ak

Sniipe wrote: »

I weigh 68kg. I would be reasonably fit, but lack upper body mass/muscle.
Anyway I was machine pressing 40kg. It part of the 5x5 stronglifts program. I know its not a lot. However I'm on it and these two guys stand opposite me waiting for my machine. I was on set 3 of 5. I do 5 at a time and rest for a minute.

Anyway, I get up after finishing the 5 sets (headphones on). Walk the short distance to the cleaner and wipe and wipe the seat as I was a bit sweaty.

As I leave, the bigger guy sits into the machine and lifts my 40kg and laughs.

It really put me off. I felt very self conscious after that. In my mind I think they were laughing at my pitiful weights. They could have been laughing at their own private joke.

I think it sounds very similar to the OP. In my mind, they were laughing at me, however its possible they were laughing at their own jokes...

Another thing, when people lift weights and are on their own they kinda wait around the next piece of equipment they are going to use... during that time they normally just look around out of boredom...

Honestly don't worry about it, regardless of whether you were laughed at or not. There's no such thing as a heavy weight. There's your max weight, and that's it. Lift for form and building strength, nothing else. You don't life a certain weight because it looks big. I'd be similiar build and probably at the same level as you, squating around 40kg over 8 reps etc. Whilst I could lift heavier I know it's not a race, building your twitch muscles, your foundation, etc.

Lift what's heavy for you, what pushes you, etc. Don't ever compare weights to anyone else. What one man's heavy is another man's light. So be it. You're building a stronger, fitter version of yourself, not someone else.

As an aside what machine do you use on stronglifts? I did everything on a bar. As far as I know it's really designed for that... Things like smith machines take away a lot of the benefits you get when lifting lighter weights, like balance and core work.

Sniipe

.ak wrote: »

Honestly don't worry about it, regardless of whether you were laughed at or not. There's no such thing as a heavy weight. There's your max weight, and that's it. Lift for form and building strength, nothing else. You don't life a certain weight because it looks big. I'd be similiar build and probably at the same level as you, squating around 40kg over 8 reps etc. Whilst I could lift heavier I know it's not a race, building your twitch muscles, your foundation, etc.

Lift what's heavy for you, what pushes you, etc. Don't ever compare weights to anyone else. What one man's heavy is another man's light. So be it. You're building a stronger, fitter version of yourself, not someone else.

As an aside what machine do you use on stronglifts? I did everything on a bar. As far as I know it's really designed for that... Things like smith machines take away a lot of the benefits you get when lifting lighter weights, like balance and core work.

The machine I was pressing was something like this
The reason I used this was because the smiths machine was busy and all the other benches were in use.

I prefer using the smith machine over the benches for now. I understand that balance and core are better worked with the benches, but for now I just want to build some strength up.

I'm currently
barbell squat in smiths = 70kg
Bent over Barbell row = 52.5kg
Standing Barbell shoulder Press in smiths = 20-30kg
Barbell Deadlift = 82.5kg
Machine shoulder press =35kg (or 30kg in the smiths machine)

The past few days in the gym have been fine for me. I don't make much eye contact with folks, just listen to my music and watch the clock for 1 min rests.

Yesterday was interesting however, a very fit, strong, attractive woman was directly across from me doing some fly lifts (??) staring right at me while watching me fail at lifting 30kg in the smiths for the standing barbell shoulder press, then reducing it to 25kg, then 20kg... She could have easily looked elsewhere as I was off to the side. Didn't know what to make of that. Perhaps she wanted to use the smiths machine after me.

Blackpanther95

Sniipe wrote: »

The machine I was pressing was something like this
The reason I used this was because the smiths machine was busy and all the other benches were in use.

I prefer using the smith machine over the benches for now. I understand that balance and core are better worked with the benches, but for now I just want to build some strength up.

I'm currently
barbell squat in smiths = 70kg
Bent over Barbell row = 52.5kg
Standing Barbell shoulder Press in smiths = 20-30kg
Barbell Deadlift = 82.5kg
Machine shoulder press =35kg (or 30kg in the smiths machine)

The past few days in the gym have been fine for me. I don't make much eye contact with folks, just listen to my music and watch the clock for 1 min rests.

Yesterday was interesting however, a very fit, strong, attractive woman was directly across from me doing some fly lifts (??) staring right at me while watching me fail at lifting 30kg in the smiths for the standing barbell shoulder press, then reducing it to 25kg, then 20kg... She could have easily looked elsewhere as I was off to the side. Didn't know what to make of that. Perhaps she wanted to use the smiths machine after me.

She wants the D!!! you must be good-looking as f... . Why didn't you go over? Talking from experience I don't really think girls even care what you lift, I still max out the machine when girls were in the area though. hahaha

Mellor

Sniipe wrote: »

I prefer using the smith machine over the benches for now. I understand that balance and core are better worked with the benches, but for now I just want to build some strength up.

I'm currently
barbell squat in smiths = 70kg
Bent over Barbell row = 52.5kg
Standing Barbell shoulder Press in smiths = 20-30kg
Barbell Deadlift = 82.5kg
Machine shoulder press =35kg (or 30kg in the smiths machine)

You need to stop using the smith and other machines.
It's not just about balance and core. You aren't lifting the weight along a natural path.

Start with an empty barbell or very light weights and increase the weight every workout. Other wise you aren't following the program.

Sniipe

Blackpanther95 wrote: »

I still max out the machine when girls were in the area though. hahaha

LOL

Mellor wrote: »

You need to stop using the smith and other machines

I spent time yesterday reading the 5x5 page and I will stop using other machines and start with an empty bar. Cheers. I will prepare myself for the stares...

.ak

Mellor wrote: »

You need to stop using the smith and other machines.
It's not just about balance and core. You aren't lifting the weight along a natural path.

Start with an empty barbell or very light weights and increase the weight every workout. Other wise you aren't following the program.

This. You'll get more out of a 40kg squat then a 70kg smith squat.

On that subject, there's an age old thing of lifting too much, letting egos get in the way, and whilst I may be guilty of it from time to time I'm surprised at just how rife it is in gyms these days.

In FlyeFit in Macken st this morning and, and one of the PTs was showing a girl how to squat. After doing a few on an empty bar it was loaded up to 50kg. Okay, fine, 50kg isn't that heavy and even the weakest of us should be able to squat it.. but the reality is that was almost her body weight, and sure enough she was shaking and bending all out of shape. I notice actually a lot of people lift heavy weights without warming up too.

Funnily enough in Macken street there are two guys that in particular are extremely fit, ripped and quite well bulked - they would pass for pro rugby union players, easily, and I have NEVER seen them lift anything mentally heavy. Just with really clean form in supersets and trisets.

People are obsessed with what's at the end of the barbell, and not what's in the middle (i.e; you). Form is key. Even after a good session with good form and a lower weight you'll feel it a lot more than a session where you struggle with the weights.

.ak

Sniipe wrote: »

LOL

I spent time yesterday reading the 5x5 page and I will stop using other machines and start with an empty bar. Cheers. I will prepare myself for the stares...

Honestly you think you'll get a lot of stares for using an empty bar? EVERYONE should start out with a bar, even the strongest of people. Mobility and form over weight imo.

What gym do you go to? I've never seen anyone been gawked at for using an empty bar in my gym.

Mellor

.ak wrote: »

In FlyeFit in Macken st this morning and, and one of the PTs was showing a girl how to squat. After doing a few on an empty bar it was loaded up to 50kg. Okay, fine, 50kg isn't that heavy and even the weakest of us should be able to squat it.. but the reality is that was almost her body weight, and sure enough she was shaking and bending all out of shape.

50kg is pretty light for a lot of people, but for a 50kg female it's massive. Terrible from the PT

.ak wrote: »

Honestly you think you'll get a lot of stares for using an empty bar? EVERYONE should start out with a bar, even the strongest of people. Mobility and form over weight imo.

What gym do you go to? I've never seen anyone been gawked at for using an empty bar in my gym.

This.

I still use a 20kg for my first set everyday. Anybody watching has no idea what where I'll work to from there.

Sin Eater

I've been going to a gym pretty regularly for the last 4 years (usually 3 times a week).

In my experience there aren't all that many jerks in the gym, most of the regulars seem to be pretty nice chaps, and as I've dropped weight very supportive.

But, I'm the type that throws on my earphones and works through the workout I've been set up with. The only hing I try to worry about is making sure my form is okay, and not doing anything to hurt myself (or anyone else).

ixus

If no one else in the gym is a jerk, does that make me the jerk?

Was quite self conscious when I started out as I knew many people in my local gym. Split my shorts mid squat (first set) on stronglifts the other week in flyefit. Didn't bat an eyelid. Got through my session and walked back to work.

Always wear clean (non white) underwear.

Blackpanther95

ixus wrote: »

If no one else in the gym is a jerk, does that make me the jerk?

Was quite self conscious when I started out as I knew many people in my local gym. Split my shorts mid squat (first set) on stronglifts the other week in flyefit. Didn't bat an eyelid. Got through my session and walked back to work.

Always wear clean (non white) underwear.

hahaha I hope not, cos them I am one too.

mrty

If no one else in the gym is a jerk, does that make me the jerk?

Only if you're nasty to skinny beginners.