Protection for child

all_names_gone

Hi all, just a quick question. I was looking for info for protecting my child against violence from another child and abuse from the neighbours childs mother. All the info I have found seems to be related to domestic violence, like safety and protection orders.

Ok, the neighbours child has beaten up my daughter quite a few times, the final straw came when she came home covered in blood, every week there was something, that was the last straw. This is a boy beating up a girl. The boys mother, is a mouth, Ive heard her a few times shouting at my daughter, my partner had been dealing with it until now.

She came in covered in blood, so I made a complaint to the county and gardai. The county council came over and had words with them, the gaurds rang to say that they would be coming over but because the council came over, we asked them to keep it on file, which it is.

So now she seems to be coming out of her little shell a bit, like walking behind my partner, standing behind her, going into a neighbours house where the daughter and her friends are, she has to bring her son in because nobody wants to play with him.

The thing Im wondering is, what kind of order can be made so that she has to stay away from my daughter and partner?

Dangel4x4

What age kids are we talking about here?

retro:electro

Why did you let your daughter back after he beat her up the first time?

all_names_gone

anna080 wrote: »

Why did you let your daughter back after he beat her up the first time?

What do you mean let her back ? They play out on the street, I cant keep her in doors all day

all_names_gone

Dangel4x4 wrote: »

What age kids are we talking about here?

They are both 8

Dangel4x4

Probably a waste of time, but have you spoken directly to the parents?

Maybe let your daughter play but observe goings-on from close by for a while, so you can intervene (without laying hands on the other kid, much as you'd like to ) if necessary.

BTW, what have the council got to do with this? The other crowd are council tenants or something?

all_names_gone

Dangel4x4 wrote: »

Probably a waste of time, but have you spoken directly to the parents?

Maybe let your daughter play but observe goings-on from close by for a while, so you can intervene (without laying hands on the other kid, much as you'd like to ) if necessary.

BTW, what have the council got to do with this? The other crowd are council tenants or something?

Yeah I went to speak to the mother the other night, but she played dumb, but she knows now what will happen next, gardai.

We always do be out, even more so now. and yes they are council tenants so they have been up to warn her, but it doesnt seem to be working.

all_names_gone

See what I am kind of looking for is more of a protection order or something like that to keep the mother out of the picture, her little angel is the victim despite all of the evidence and witnesses. The mother seems to be looking for trouble, which she has found. But I dont want to have to wait for something else to happen before I can do something

Dangel4x4

Gardai won't do anything, given that the kid is 8.

When both your kids are out at the same time, make plenty of eye contact with the other kid - let him know you're watching him. Sad to say, but there's not much else you can do.

all_names_gone wrote: »

See what I am kind of looking for is more of a protection order or something like that to keep the mother out of the picture

If she lives a few doors down I don't see how you can make something like that work...

all_names_gone

Dangel4x4 wrote: »

If she lives a few doors down I don't see how you can make something like that work...

Hmm yeah I was thinking that alright, ah sure we'll see how it goes for now. Thanks

retro:electro

all_names_gone wrote: »

What do you mean let her back ? They play out on the street, I cant keep her in doors all day

You should have clarified that so. Your op makes it sound like your daughter does be in their house.

all_names_gone

anna080 wrote: »

You should have clarified that so. Your op makes it sound like your daughter does be in their house.

Ok sorry about that but details arent really a priority at the minute. God no I would never allow her out of sight with him, she has always been closely watched, even more so now. But that is another tool the childs mother uses now, brings all the children into her and leaves the daughter out, the mother is just as bad as the child.

Dangel4x4

all_names_gone wrote: »

that is another tool the childs mother uses now, brings all the children into her and leaves the daughter out, the mother is just as bad as the child.

Well, children learn from their parents...

Don't get drawn in to her mind games. Get some of your daughters friends round to your house to play, and ignore the neighbour from now on.

Peace

conorh91

I think the important think is that your daughter doesn't blame herself. You can't protect her from bullies all her life, but you can try and maintain her self-confidence so that they don't upset and damage her so much.

I must admit I'm a bit confused as to why the Gardaí haven't been involved where there have been physical attacks, but the local authority has.

Does the bullying ever happen at school? If there is a school component, you would have a considerable extra support behind you. Schools are usually very conscious of dealing with these situations, and it may be worth approaching the school, even outside of term time.

Little CuChulainn

conorh91 wrote: »

I think the important think is that your daughter doesn't blame herself. You can't protect her from bullies all her life, but you can try and maintain her self-confidence so that they don't upset and damage her so much.

I must admit I'm a bit confused as to why the Gardaí haven't been involved where there have been physical attacks, but the local authority has.

Does the bullying ever happen at school? If there is a school component, you would have a considerable extra support behind you. Schools are usually very conscious of dealing with these situations, and it may be worth approaching the school, even outside of term time.

It's a matter for the HSE. Not only to help the victim but to investigate why the boy is doing it. Gardaí have no investigative or prosecution power against an 8 year old.

conorh91

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

It's a matter for the HSE. Not only to help the victim but to investigate why the boy is doing it. Gardaí have no investigative or prosecution power against an 8 year old.

AGS does have a role in these situations.

It appears to me that the Gardaí are the most suitable agency to deal with a physical assault on a child by another child who has not reached the age of criminal responsibility.

Although the Gardaí are not equipped to bring a child before the courts in that situation, they do indeed have an investigative and informative role as per s.53 of the Children Act 2001 (i.e. notifying parents), as well notifying the HSE in a situation where the child against whom an allegation of physical assault has been made does not appear to be receiving adequate care and protection from his or her parents.

On a purely practical level, members of the Gardaí arriving at the door with your 8-year old in hand should be a clear wake up call, even for many negligent parents.

Little CuChulainn

conorh91 wrote: »

AGS does have a role in these situations.

It appears to me that the Gardaí are the most suitable agency to deal with a physical assault on a child by another child who has not reached the age of criminal responsibility.

Although the Gardaí are not equipped to bring a child before the courts in that situation, they do indeed have an investigative and informative role as per s.53 of the Children Act 2001 (i.e. notifying parents), as well notifying the HSE in a situation where the child against whom an allegation of physical assault has been made does not appear to be receiving adequate care and protection from his or her parents.

On a purely practical level, members of the Gardaí arriving at the door with your 8-year old in hand should be a clear wake up call, even for many negligent parents.

So rather than go direct to the HSE you think it's necessary to go to the Gardaí and get them to go to the HSE. You also think they should take the 8 year old off the street to bring him back to his mother and give them both a scare.

all_names_gone

Sorry Im getting back to this now, to clear it up.

The Gardai were involved and the Council were also involved, it just so happened that the council arrived first, so we decided to stagger things out a little bit, we let the council go and issue the warning and see if that helped, and we got onto the Guards then to ask them to hold off and put the complaint on file for next time and then go full into it.

The guards did mention something about the HSE alright and thats definitely the next step. Im just trying to think of a few steps ahead so that there is heavier punishments for each incident until it does actually stop

all_names_gone

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

So rather than go direct to the HSE you think it's necessary to go to the Gardaí and get them to go to the HSE. You also think they should take the 8 year old off the street to bring him back to his mother and give them both a scare.

I think the process is that the guards automatically inform the HSE when a complaint is made

Little CuChulainn

all_names_gone wrote: »

I think the process is that the guards automatically inform the HSE when a complaint is made

Yes but you can skip the middleman and do it yourself.

conorh91

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

So rather than go direct to the HSE you think it's necessary to go to the Gardaí and get them to go to the HSE.

I don't think it is necessary, only advisable.

In this situation a female child is being physically assaulted by a male child on an ongoing basis. One day she came home "covered in blood". The male child's parents take no steps to address their child's behaviour.

I think that's a serious issue worthy of Garda attention. It is clearly envisaged that Gardaí will be involved as a first-step response under the Act, so I don't think I am alone in my opinion.