My fault???

Vstreet3

Hi all, well not sure where to start.. Here goes.. I have been with my bf for 3yrs and have a young son together. Recently I kissed another guy when I had a few drinks. My bf found out and has finished it.. I tried to tell him it meant nothing.. Just stupidity due to drink,but he wont listen. I know I shouldnt have done it, but since my son was born, he hasnt done a thing to help me, granted he goes to work but to him whats his is his and whats mine is mine.. He constantly told me about all the pretty girls who would chat him up when he was out every weekend while I stayed home with our son. He knew I wasnt happy in our relationship, I tried to finish it a couple of times in the past, but he would convince me to stay. When he found out what happened he got physically abusive and told everyone including his parents that I was sleeping around. Is it all my fault that this happened.. And all that happened afterwards?.. I feel guilt, and regret for what I done, but cant help feeling that I dont deserve this!!? All opinions welcome.. Thanks

Eeden

To be blunt, you are better off out of this relationship. I know it's not easy when you have a child, but you obviously had been building up lot of resentment, and you did make a mistake (you can't blame him and his attitude for that).

But if he was that unsupportive, and he got physically abusive, and is being cruel in spreading stories about you, then you are probably better off without him.

Confused12345

Sounds like you have got your way out of what you have described as an unhappy and unhealthy relationship
of course you will still be upset nobody likes to be hurt or hurt someone

Just look after yourself and your son for now and everything else will fall into place

I wouldn't worry too much about what he tells people your family and friends will know you well enough to know what is true and what is lies

Vstreet3

Thanks... I do feel like it is ultimately better this way... But I of course still love him and care about him, he is the father of my child.. I know too that if it wasn't this that happened it would be something else.. I just keep asking myself "Did I break up our family because I wanted too much?" I really don't know.. But its like he's telling everyone what I did.. But not saying a word about what he's done. And I'm not the type of person who will say what he did.. Id rather just take the s**t I'm getting. I don't know if I'm unhappier with him or without him.

Stavro Mueller

Maybe you kissed this man because you weren't happy in the relationship. From what you've told us you're better off out of it. Let's face it, you're only three years together and you'd already tried to leave twice. He hasn't helped much with your child and heads out at weekends behaving like a single man. I mean, what sort of man in a committed relationship thinks it's OK to brag to his partner about all the girls who are chatting him up?

Maybe you should tell your family and friends what he did. It's unfortunate that this relationship broke up in the way that it did but that doesn't give him the right to be physically violent. If that's what he's capable of, you and your child are better off away from him. I reckon you kept the family together because you wanted it too much, not the other way around. Besides, what sort of role model would he have been for your son growing up? If he sees his father going out every weekend, hears him bragging to his mother...

Curry Addict

i think you found the best way you could out of a bad relationship. don't beat yourself up about it. the older you get the more you realise how little other peoples opinions of you matter. move on and put you energy into finding a happy life.

Starokan

Sometimes something has to happen to end a relationship that would otherwise linger on for years and years. In this case it was you kissing someone else, if you want to look at things in pure black and white then yes you are at fault for being with someone else but relationships are rarely black and white and in this case it has finally broken the cords that tied you to what sounds like a pretty toxic relationship.

Move on in your own mind and find some happiness, don't waste another minute feeling guilty, life is simply to short for that