Visiting a friend with cancer,appropriate gifts?

Freiheit

Hi, normally when I call to someone's house I'd bring something with me, like buns, an apple tart. She's been undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. Pardon my ignorance but I'm not sure how this affects diet?. Maybe I should just maintain normal routine and do the normal thing. Maybe a few magazines too, She's a really dear friend :(and I'm very sad that this has happened to her. She is in the early stages so her chances are good, hopefully.
Thanks

Chattastrophe!

Chemotherapy very often alters people's sense of taste, and she may well be off her favourite foods. I'd avoid any food or drink to be on the safe side.

I'd suggest books rather than magazines (it's fecking boring being hooked up to those drips and sitting in hospital waiting rooms for hours on end.) Some nice luxurious moisturiser or hand cream or lip balm - the chemo can make your skin very dry. If she's in and out of hospital a lot, you can't really go wrong with nice PJs or dressing gown.

I hope your friend is better soon.

Teyla Emmagan

Just do what you would normally do. I'm sure your friend would prefer everything to be natural and same as usual given what she's going through.

I hope she recovers.

Merkin

I'd definitely second the self indulgent and luxury smelly goodies. I've gifted people who were ill with lovely things from L'Occitane and it's been so appreciated. With illness and treatment skin can become so dry and as a patient too you can lose your sense of 'self' a little so some nice foot cream, lip balm, body moisturiser etc will make her feel like a new woman! I hope she makes a swift recovery, it's great that they caught it early xx

Obliq

Merkin wrote: »

I'd definitely second the self indulgent and luxury smelly goodies. I've gifted people who were ill with lovely things from L'Occitane and it's been so appreciated. With illness and treatment skin can become so dry and as a patient too you can lose your sense of 'self' a little so some nice foot cream, lip balm, body moisturiser etc will make her feel like a new woman! I hope she makes a swift recovery, it's great that they caught it early xx

It sounds lovely, and perhaps this doesn't apply to everyone, but my aunt got very nauseous around strong smells and tastes when she went through the chemo - sorry, because that's a fab idea but if they're too perfumed it might turn her stomach. L'Occitane has such gorgeous stuff though, and some are very lightly scented but I'd avoid the strong scents if I were you....

Chemo is an awful dose - I know your friend will just appreciate your care, no matter what you bring, you'll be bringing your self with it. Wishing her all the best, and you OP.

Ps. I'd second the books idea

sparkle109

I know chemo can affect people's taste and impact on saliva production, apparently some fruits such as chilled pineapple is very good

Neyite

what about freezer meals? She is bound to be wiped out and its really hard to cook properly for yourself.

Bearing in mind she may have nausea or taste changes I'd keep it to things like chicken soup which is easy on the stomach and in individual portions so she can bung it in a pot/microwave as she needs.

LynnGrace

I'd be inclined to go with your usual. And the few magazines, as you suggested, and then you can suss out what she would appreciate, for future visits. Hope she makes a great recovery.

tinkerbell

I wouldn't go with anything strong scented from L'Occitaine, etc unless you know she uses it already. Chemo can make you very nauseous so strong smells that your friend is not used to could make her more nauseous. If you know she likes something, then get her that. I'd go with books, magazines, DVDs, some meals for the freezer, etc.

Never underestimate the simple things in life either such as a pack of ginger biscuits - they are great for when you are nauseous and really help when you can't bear to eat anything else due to the chemo. There's also a really good lemon drink in Lidl that Ive heard of quite a few chemo patients drinking (it's non alcoholic obviously) because again, the taste buds are all over the place coz of the chemo and it's one of the few things they like to drink.

Another thing you could get her (and this is ONLY if she has openly talked with you about losing her hair (if she has already)) is a nice scarf that she can wear around the house on the days when she doesn't feel like wearing a wig because she isn't going anywhere or whatever reason. Or maybe she's ok with going out of the house with just a scarf on, depends on the person. But that is only if she has talked about losing her hair with you, otherwise do not do that.

LegacyUser

Hi,

I have a close family member who went through chemo.

I wouldn't get any bathing/beauty products, as your friend may now prefer chemical free/natural products. It can vary of course, but my family member avoided any products with chemicals etc.

When your are going through chemo, your immunity is at an all time low, so just to be extra careful, I wouldn't advise flowers (that's me being very careful).

I would say some magazines would be perfect for first visit, as others have said here, you might hear from your friend what products she is using, what foods she is able to eat now etc, this might give your ideas for future visits.

You being there for your friend and supporting her is the best present you can give her right now. Trust me, when cancer arrives into a family, it is amazing who steps up and supports you and who doesn't want to know.

By just being there for her and caring, you are doing more than you will ever know. x

Freiheit

Thanks all visited her today, had a really good chat, somewhat emotional, felt tears coming to my eyes on at least one occasion.....hopefully better times ahead, stuck with the relative normality pastries ,chocolate and a magazine, but thanks for the advice regarding the effects of chemo on the body and will keep them in mind throughout this process....:) very sad to see someone sick....hopefully in years ahead we will look back at this as just an abberation.....

Lou.m

Freiheit wrote: »

Hi, normally when I call to someone's house I'd bring something with me, like buns, an apple tart. She's been undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. Pardon my ignorance but I'm not sure how this affects diet?. Maybe I should just maintain normal routine and do the normal thing. Maybe a few magazines too, She's a really dear friend :(and I'm very sad that this has happened to her. She is in the early stages so her chances are good, hopefully.
Thanks

Not food. Stomach issues and things can be an issue.

Books a DVD something to do while she gets better. It can be diff for everyone.

Freiheit

very hard seeing someone sick...she's been there for me, so particularily sad to see her suffer....

Lou.m

sparkle109 wrote: »

I know chemo can affect people's taste and impact on saliva production, apparently some fruits such as chilled pineapple is very good

Some treatments can cause a a terrible burning effect throughout all the tissues in the body like a scalding. Inside on the tongue and intestines etc.

It depends on the individual.

She will be tired and have different symptoms at diff times.

Yes it is very tough, scary and deeply upsetting to see.

OP you will really be giving so much more than you realize simply by being there.

Zulu

I had cancer and when I was getting my chemo my girlfriend (now wife) brought me in a tangle twister. Well I'll tell you what, it was only fricken beautiful. (my taste was off for every thing else, it's like you mouth is coated in an oily something that blocks the taste and weakens it. Sorry, but the point is the tangle twister was the ONLY thing I could taste properly.

My advice, bring them a box of tangle twisters. Seriously. Tangle twisters.

Lou.m

Zulu wrote: »

I had cancer and when I was getting my chemo my girlfriend (now wife) brought me in a tangle twister. Well I'll tell you what, it was only fricken beautiful. (my taste was off for every thing else, it's like you mouth is coated in an oily something that blocks the taste and weakens it. Sorry, but the point is the tangle twister was the ONLY thing I could taste properly.

My advice, bring them a box of tangle twisters. Seriously. Tangle twisters.

Ice pops for the win!

They can digest them and it keeps people hydrated. And they soothe any burning sensation.

Santa Cruz

You might think it funny or unusual but when I visited my friend who was in for his first brain tumour treatment (ten years ago and has had two further ones but is going well and drinking pints) I brought a magazine and a Lucky Pick Lotto card and some Telly Bingo cards. He was delighted with it

Sunny Dayz

My uncle used Aveeno moisturisers when he was undergoing cancer treatment, some independent chemists could do up a gift set for you.

Tasden

Zulu wrote: »

I had cancer and when I was getting my chemo my girlfriend (now wife) brought me in a tangle twister. Well I'll tell you what, it was only fricken beautiful. (my taste was off for every thing else, it's like you mouth is coated in an oily something that blocks the taste and weakens it. Sorry, but the point is the tangle twister was the ONLY thing I could taste properly.

My advice, bring them a box of tangle twisters. Seriously. Tangle twisters.

These are all I could eat when I had chronic sickness during my pregnancy, couldn't look at anything else, any time the little one is sick and off food that's what she gets too