dyed my hair - gay or not?

LegacyUser

hey all. i'm a man and i dyed my hair recently bright red (hayley williams of paramore red - not the orange she has but deep red) and wanted to know if its perceived as being gay. i have no issue with lgbt people, i've known a few people who are and i don't differentiate between straight/gay. anyway, i wanted to clear that up. so i've dyed my hair now, the inspiration came from a couple of things (ferrari, video game character) but at the same time, i thought that it could possibly make me stand out a bit more than the average person, which in only a week, i've noticed sort of does . i'm strictly straight, i really don't find men attractive at all but now i'm concerned that because i dyed my hair, i'll only be perceived as gay and if i'm on a night out, women will just steer clear because they'll think "oh, he's definitely gay" or whatever. at the end of the day, i dyed my hair because i wanted it this way so i know a lot of people will say "take pride in yourself and be happy" or "it isn't about how you look but how you bring yourself across (in regards to women)". But unless someone is an angel, which most are not, they'll assume things of me before he even speaking to me and that's what i'm worried about.

i'm online dating and the girl i was speaking to said she liked it (whether she's being polite or genuinely likes it, i don't know ) but out of all the people i know, none truly liked it . my dad clearly showed disapproval, my brother said "it was better when it was black", i've received a couple of negative facebook comments when i put up a photo after doing it so now, i'm really beginning to regret it. the colourist who did it told me that if i change my mind, it can always be darkened to make it more subtle. i'm generally a pretty confident guy, and sometimes even admittedly arrogant, so with it, i don't really care what people think of me. but at the same time, i don't like the idea of being negative or repel other people. i think i may have did it out of "acting out" as i've had a lot go on in my life over the last couple of months. i'm trying to like it and appreciate it and i personally think while i look very different and unrecognisable, even to myself, it does look cool.

so, should i dye it back to black again or keep it?

Tokyo

If people are going to question your sexuality just because of the colour of your hair, are they really the kind of people whose opinions you care about anyways?

Do whatever makes you happy. If that means having bright read hair then go for it. Seems pretty tame in the greater scheme of things.

mylefttesticle

Being Gay has something to do with hair?


As for the rest when you dye your hair a flamboyant colour your going to get attention for it so better get a thicker skin or don't dye your hair such a flamboyant colour!

LegacyUser

I actually think it is a disgrace that you cant dye your hair without being questioned. Absolute cheek of people these days! Do what's good for you and honestly, do not even entertain people who lack the intelligence to understand that your body is YOURS and you are free do what you like with it!!

mylefttesticle

Hey OP wrote: »

I actually think it is a disgrace that you cant dye your hair without being questioned. Absolute cheek of people these days! Do what's good for you and honestly, do not even entertain people who lack the intelligence to understand that your body is YOURS and you are free do what you like with it!!

Whether it is right or wrong to be questioned on it or slagged about it the OP still has to find a way to deal with it.

Rubberchikken

being gay and hair colour have nothing in common.
on the one hand you say you're arrogant and don't care what others think, then you post this question re. your hair colour.

you know deep down that a person's hair colour only means that that is their hair colour, nothing more.
is something else actually bothering you?

AmberAmber

I have a faint memory of a basket baller or footballer having very colourful hair so I googled "rainbow hair style" for images !! go on do it have a look !! as you have gone red you may as well enjoy it and have fun with it !! poor you for all the drama you have had to listen but if its not hair its a style of jumper or style of jeans or the shoes some on wears. Ones sexual interests are on it inside. While they can be expressed in many ways no one action is specific

Big Bag of Chips

hairdyegayornot wrote: »

i'm trying to like it......

So do you not actually like it yourself then? I know it's all well and good saying do what you like, it's nobody else's business, but I get the impression you were looking for a different outcome from this, and what you got isn't exactly it.

Nobody is going to think you are gay because of your hair colour. Some people might think "What a twat", or "hey, yer man's hair is cool" etc, You can't please all the people all the time. Some people will have personal preferences. Some like beards, some like tattoos, some like unusual hair colour etc

If you're not happy with it, then change it back. If you like it and want to keep it for a while then keep it, although be aware that it'll need regular maintenance. It'll start looking shocking in about 4 weeks time, so it'll be time to redo it or go back to black.

But do what YOU are happy with. Don't be changing things about yourself to impress others. Because then what happens is others either don't like it, as you are finding out or aren't bothered one way or another, and you're left feeling a bit dejected and underwhelmed, with a hairstyle that you are "trying to like".

We all experiment a little occasionally. No shame in admitting the experiment went wrong and you want to go back to basics. 2 days after it'll be all forgotten anyway.

Lux23

I wouldn't call it gay, it's just a bit 90s.

Obliq

As someone who hasn't had my own natural hair colour since I was 14, and who's eldest son has caught the same bug (extrovertitis ), I am somewhat confused by your question tbh. To me, dying your hair a stand-out colour only means you like to stand out, or would like to be able to stand out but are unsure if you can cope with the resulting attention. You seem to be in the second catagory - brazening it out and wondering if you can handle the potential slagging/abuse/stares.

I'm picking up from your OP that you wouldn't mind the slagging, but you would mind if people assumed you are gay, which is what I think is the odd part. Can't you just tell them you're not? Or better still - completely ignore their reaction and carry on liking your new hair colour.


If it's any help to you, my eldest son started 2nd year of secondary school with pink hair. He loves to be flamboyant. Nobody said a word about it. He has since then run out of colours and is having to repeat them I suggest you do whatever the hell you like with your hair and stop making assumptions about what other people are assuming about you.

No matter what you look like, people will make assumptions. If you try to blend in with the furniture and look like a "typical" something or other, people will assume something. If you try to stand out and look "untypical", people will assume something. Why would you even care?

I'm all for the "if you want to know me, come and talk to me" attitude, and it stands well for my sons too.

J_E

hairdyegayornot wrote: »

so, should i dye it back to black again or keep it?

You are way overthinking this. You wanted to dye it to stand out - and you're worried you might stand out?

meeeeh

Well next time when you want to be a teenage rebel, pick something you actually like.

For what is worth I think it's kind of cool if done right. Btw in my school it was mostly snowboarders that did it. But that is ages ago and in another country.

thefeatheredcat

I don't get the connection between dying your hair and being gay tbh.
Like yesterday morning going to a shopping centre, I passed a woman with lilac coloured hair, which I obviously noticed and noticed how it was cut too, thought it looked like a cool colour but I didn't exactly decide that she must be a lesbian to dye her hair that colour or to dye it at all.

Lots of men and women dye their hair for different reasons. Some to cover grey, some to self express, others for the craic and because they want to. I've dyed my hair black with blue and purple tints, it was dramatic because my natural colour is a lot lighter, but nobody once suggested I was a lesbian, though some suggested I was looking for the arty/gothic look. Which I just shrugged off, because I dyed it because I wanted to and wanted to know what I would look like with black hair and the tints were just because of availability.

I've known a few guys who have dyed or bleached their hair, or even temporarily for Paddy's Day... some happened to be gay, others were straight but their hair colour from my perception was not really an expression or a reflection of their sexuality, it might have been for some, but then again, I didn't exactly quiz everyone to find out why they did dye their hair. I just accepted it.

Parents will probably always disapprove, same with family sometimes, it's new to them and might think you're making a mistake but like painting your house, you can get used to the new colours over time. Some people may genuine dislike the colour (because they wouldn't pick it themselves, different taste) and that it's a dramatic change, but you can dislike a colour too, without stooping to nastiness. If people are giving negative and nasty comments, then they're just being nasty, knowing that attacking someone's appearance is one of the easiest ways to injure your self esteem and make you feel insecure. It actually says more about them than your hair colour does.

If you like it, keep the colour. It's your hair. Don't let yourself get insecure or have your confidence fade because of it. Rise above negative and nasty comments, those that make them probably want to get you to change it, just so they can make you feel worse in belittling you about changing it.

If you don't like it, change the colour. But change it on your terms, not because reactions of others pressurise you do so.

The_Conductor

So- your hair is a dazzling shade of red. So what?
If you're happy with the colour- great- if not, change it.
If you are changing it- change it because its what you want to do- not because of some bullcrap from people about it being 'gay' or whatever.

It sounds like you like the idea of being an extrovert- but aren't necessarily one- and are somehow frightened by being noticed?

We all evolve all the time- well most of us anyway- you've taken a step and made a statement by dying your hair a particular colour- if some cretins think its 'gay'- thats their issue, not yours.

ash23

It wouldn't strike me if I looked at is as "that guy is gay". I would moreso think "that guy is a total attention seeker".

And like all personality traits and appearances, some people will like it and some won't.
I remember a guy I worked with bleaching his hair snow white. It did nothing for him but it never crossed my mind to question his sexuality over it.

LegacyUser

hairdyegayornot wrote: »

so, should i dye it back to black again or keep it?

What do you want to do OP? If you like it and it makes you feel good about yourself keep it and sod the few that make comments about it. If you find it just makes you so self conscious and uncomfortable then maybe it's not the style for you.

I've done everything you can do to hair from growing it long to shaving it off on whim to dreads down to near my arse to blue/red/green hair, several colours at one all in spikes that where 10 inches high. I get lots of looks when I change it, that just what happens when you make yourself stand out. Family and friends are use to it for the most part. I've one Aunt who moans about it 'ruining' my hair and I'm going to go bald from all the chemicals and so on but it's water off a ducks back to me, I don't change it to fade into the background. I've dated girls who liked it and dyed their own hair similar colours. I've plenty of gay friends and have spent lots of time at the George and other gay bars round Dublin with said friends and honestly never noticed lads there with wild coloured hair compared to my regular drinking hole so in answer to your question about it being 'gay' only to silly people who haven't a clue what they are on about.

InReality

I'm not sure what your asking ..but to try and answer your questions -
If I saw a guy in a pub with bright red dyed hair I'd think they were likely gay , but wouldn't be 100%. It would depend on other stuff as well.
I'm a guy though so have no idea how women would judge you. My guess is they would be less likely to , and if you talk to them i'm pretty sure they would be able to tell quite quickly that your not.
Did this occur to you as a possibility before you dyed your hair ?

I've thought of dyeing my hair white myself , kinda as a challenge to myself to handle the attention etc that it would bring.
But have plenty of other challanges at the mo so will leave that on the back burner.

Id stick with the new colour for a while , there must have been some reason you wanted to do it in the first place