Going back to an Ex after a break up

Carcosa · 13-07-2014 3:13am #1

Hello

Just looking to get others opinion on the above.

Myself and my partner broke up a few months back (my fault) and in that time she started seeing her ex again occasionally. Myself and herself lost all contact and cut complete ties.

Thankfully we are back together now but I'm just trying to get my head round and understand why people go back to their ex's? I recently found out about this (not through her). Is it the sex, being around something you're comfortable with or someone you know who you can talk to?

I kind of feel a bit undermined to be honest as when we got back together again, she explained to him we were giving it another go and she thanked him for being there, so now I feel like he's always gonna be in the background as a fall back guy.

What's most galling is the fact that she knew I had a problem with him due to his behaviour in the past, and she always maintained if anything ever happened to us, she wouldn't go back there.

Now I'm really confused. I understand she was single and completely free to do as she pleased.

Just trying to get a handle on my feelings

Thanks

CaraMay · 13-07-2014 6:12am

Was she meeting him or sleeping with him? It always worries me when someone can't be single. It all really depends on the exact mature of their relationship tbh

And if you think about it here she is going back to her ex again - you!!

Carcosa · 13-07-2014 6:26am

CaraMay wrote: »

Was she meeting him or sleeping with him? It always worries me when someone can't be single. It all really depends on the exact mature of their relationship tbh

And if you think about it here she is going back to her ex again - you!!

She just slept with him 3 or 4 times after we broke up - they were never actually a couple before we met, just a casual friends with benefits thing, hes much older than her.

As I said, I walked out on her out of the blue and she wasn't seeing him while we were together

road_high · 13-07-2014 6:29am

The two of you were broken up (your choice) so she was perfectly free to see whoever she wanted at that stage.

CaraMay · 13-07-2014 9:23am

Well if you don't walk out on her again she won't need a fall guy. You say he treated her badly in the past well so did you. The girl really should be tKubg a break from both of you tbh instead of ping ponging between you. It's all very unhealthy.

mylefttesticle · 13-07-2014 9:42am

You were broke up and it is her business what she did, presumably you knew this when you got back together so I don't see what your actual problem is?

It sounds like a very hostile and broken relationship anyway between you two so.............................

Matteroffact · 13-07-2014 3:12pm

You walked out on her so she felt a bit unloved and her first reaction was to take whatever love she could get to feel good about herself again. That's it in a nutshell.

Carcosa · 14-07-2014 8:42am

Thanks for the responses guys

curlzy · 14-07-2014 10:12am

I think you have some neck on you if you "walked out on her out of the blue" and then felt entitled to have an opinion on who she got with when you had gone and cut all ties. I wouldn't go out with someone like you, you seem extremely selfish and self involved. You should work on yourself because as it stands you're not a good partner or person IMO. You're asking why would anyone get back with an ex, well you can answer that, why have YOU just gotten back with your ex?

jus_tin4 · 12-06-2015 5:53pm

like everyone said" walking out out of the blue" is a harsh way to do it, no explanation, no closure... its a tough position for the other party if you didn't explain to any great extent why you did it....