Friend Coming Home from Oz, Nervous to See Him

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

My friend has been in Australia for the past year. We were a friends through friends kind-of thing and had become acquaintances through meeting at parties over the years, but it was only a few weeks before he left (at one of him and his mates going-away dos) that we became friends. We talk online almost daily now.

We've gotten very close in the past year and have told each other a lot. Thing is I'm very nervous about seeing him when he comes back. He'll be back in two weeks and has said that as soon as they're back, a group of us are going out for a drink. I've anxiety and I'm not sure I'll make it in, because I'm so nervous. It's been a year since we've last seen each other, and that was really tne only proper time as any other time we didn't talk much or at all.

I don't want to tell him as that might sound a bit weird, right? Saying "I'm nervous to see you and terrified you won't like me or will judge me now" is weird, right? (I've gained a few pounds since I last saw him, if that makes a difference.)

What do I do?

cazzer22

It's perfectly natural to be nervous (given you haven't seen him for a year). Be natural and be yourself. You appear to have gotten on very well prior to this (you've met him in person before so there shouldn't be a major problem there).

Definitely go for the drinks and see how things go, it won't be one on one so there's no real pressure to talk to him, just the two of you. It'll be relaxed and you'll be in a group scenario so you can just blend in surely it would create more anxiety if you guys were meeting up alone?

As for the putting on weight issue you mentioned. A few pounds is nothing to worry about and perfectly natural. I'm sure he won't notice, wear something you feel comfortable in and something that gives you confidence. I know it can be scary when you haven't seen someone for a while, but you guys chat online almost every day so just be yourself, be calm and relaxed and it'll all go great,

Best of luck OP

LegacyUser

I assume since your so nervous and concerned about your weight, you're looking for more than a friendship


I had to go abroad with work for 6 months, and just before I left I met a girl on a night out through friends, we ended up kissing and that was that.. I went away and we ended up chatting online the whole time.. I came home 6 months later and well we're together over a year now..

Try and relax and just be yourself

LegacyUser

This may sounds a bit harsh OP but I think your expectations of this guy/meeting are wayyyy too much and way too intense. It sounds like you almost see it as going on a date or with him or something. You're not, its just a casual night out with friends!

You obviously fancy the pants off him but you've only actually properly spoken to him in real life once/twice. I understand you've spoken a lot online, but online interaction does tend to feel more intimate than it actually is.

Absolutely go for drinks but don't view it as a romantic thing, he's your friend, he may or may not feel the same romantically but only time will tell, as it stands for him he's just meeting a bunch of friends he hasn't seen in years, you won't be the centre of his attention, he's not going to notice (or care quite frankly) which of his friends have or haven't gained loat weight! Absolutely do not write to him and say you're afraid he'll judge you etc it'll just sound plain odd and really needy and self absorbed, again he's not just meeting you, he's meeting a group of friends.

Sorry if this sounds hash OP and I appreciate you have anxiety issues but you really need to step back and reassess the skewed perception youve formed on this situation. Take the focus off the viewpoint of yourself and look at it from everyone elses perspective, its just a group of friends meeting for a catch up, not the big romantic judgement, all eyes on you and only you scenario you've built up in your had!

LegacyUser

Op I'm in the same boat.

I met a guy when I lived in a different country. I haven't seen him in 3 years we Skype and kik nearly every day. Every time we try see each other something comes up.

He found out recently he can do his PhD in Ireland. Finally reunited!

My weight has fluctuated in the 3 years... I'm not a small girl. Im weirdly paranoid about it. I said it to him his response?

He couldn't give a sh1t.

He doesn't care about any of that, he likes me for who I am, not about my weight or whatever.

I don't think you have anything to worry about