Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

What to do next...

  • 09-07-2014 8:06pm
    #1
    Tiger Lillie
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1 ✭


    We have been together 21 years. Late one night I overheard him having a very intimate conversation with his late friends girlfriend and telling her he loves her. I was very shocked and hurt. When confronted, he denied it. Later he said that she asked him out a year ago but he declined.He was out "with his drinking buddies" till 4am a few nights. He said she was nuts and it was only fun. He deletes all messages off his phone. I know he is still ringing her. I tried to talk to him and improve our relationship. He tells me he loves me and I shouldn't be insecure. I don't know whether to see if it blows over or leave him. I can't trust him now. I don't know what to do next. Any ideas?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    It sounds to me like after 21 years, he may be afraid to actually make a decision to leave?

    This doesn't sound like it's something that will "blow over". You heard an intimate conversation, and you heard him saying he loved this woman, and you know that he still phones her. And then he denied it.

    I have been in your situation. I very gradually realised my partner wanted to leave, but I stuck my head in the sand and tried to ignore it. It was just too scary to contemplate! It took him a long time to finally get around to ending it - but looking back, I should have ended it first, when I realised that everything was wrong and couldn't be fixed. But it is hard to summon the courage to do that, especially after so many years.

    I'm so sorry for you Tiger Lillie. It's terrible to feel that dread. I hope you don't have to go through what I have. But if you do, it will get better eventually.


Advertisement