alcohol issues

LegacyUser

Hi guys I'm a regular user here on boards and I've been having problems with drinking in the last few years. This is my first time addressing it and any information and help would be hugely appreciated.
I have drank every weekend without fail since i was 18, I'm now in my mid 30's. I was made unemployed last year and I decided I'd go back to college, this helped me cut down on beer till the weekends but now that the summer is here i will drink every 2nd night.
I'm in conflict with myself every night when I don't have a hangover on whether i should drink or not and i always lose the battle.
Where would my 1st port of call be? Should I see a g.p. first. I feel its getting out of control at the moment.

Tokyo

Hi OP,

first of all, you have taken the first step of realising that you have a problem that you want to address, so congratulations on that. Seeing as feel that it's getting out of control right now, I think that your first port of call should be your GP - he or she can advise you on a proper plan of action, and they can also put you in touch with support organisations in your immediate area. In the meantime, if you take a look at the useful links section of the forum charter, you will find links to organisations that help those with alcohol related issues - you might find it beneficial to contact them as soon as possible.

Good luck!

LegacyUser

thank you so much.

I was hoping you would say a gp ,i haven't seen one in 10 years I'd say.

This drink thing can sneak up on you before you know it. Its surreal that I'm posting about this.
Thanks again.

Just wondering is there anyway what others do when they are in war in their minds to win the battle between not having a drink and having one.

Penny Tration

lovedrinkin wrote: »

thank you so much.

I was hoping you would say a gp ,i haven't seen one in 10 years I'd say.

This drink thing can sneak up on you before you know it. Its surreal that I'm posting about this.
Thanks again.

Just wondering is there anyway what others do when they are in war in their minds to win the battle between not having a drink and having one.

Unfortunately when it gets to the stage where you're battling not to have one, very little will stop you having one.

Absolutely go to your GP and check out the links mike posted.

You have taken a MASSIVE step by admitting you need help. Now you have to be strong and go get the help.

It definitely creeps up on you. It happened to an ex of mine. Used to drink on weekends, then gradually more and more until it was every single day.

Best of luck, op.

Oink

Hi OP, I agree with the others: now that you can see it, and that you are honest with yourself about it, thats the first battle won!

Now the main thing is to not try and fight this on your own. It can be tough, but you don't have to be alone!!!

Montgolfier

Good awareness on your part that you've developed a repetitive pattern.

I imagine these long sunny evenings you've come to associate with having a drink. Is this affecting other parts of your life, relationships etc.?
Have you tried to break your current routine with something more full-filling i.e. Long walk, new sport, get involved in a community project.
Of course you could go to an AA meeting.

Merkin

lovedrinkin wrote: »

thank you so much.

I was hoping you would say a gp ,i haven't seen one in 10 years I'd say.

This drink thing can sneak up on you before you know it. Its surreal that I'm posting about this.
Thanks again.

Just wondering is there anyway what others do when they are in war in their minds to win the battle between not having a drink and having one.

I think a lot of it is to do with breaking habits. When do you buy drink? Is it in Tesco on your way home from work? Do you drive to the off license before the football? Do you find yourself texting your mates after lunch to see who is free for a drink after work? Find out what those habits are and how each drinking session begins and in recognising your triggers you will then find it easier to avoid them. I still think it's important to go to your GP though. If you're drinking heavily it's in advisable to just quit without medical consultation.

tomaussie

I implore you to avoid AA if you are not religious.

Hopefully your GP can organise some sessions with a CBT therapist.

Best of luck.

username123

Fair play to you. The first step is realising there is a problem at all.

I don't think you should avoid AA if you are not religious. AA contains an element of spirituality, not religion as is commonly misinterpreted. Spirituality may well manifest as catholic type religion in Ireland, but it's open to atheists or non Catholics. I used to attend Alanon which uses the same basic structure and as I am atheist, I followed the slogan "take what you want and leave the rest behind". I never found it to be overly religious or my lack of faith to be an issue. The only requirement is to accept the existence of a higher power. As an atheist I found that terribly easy, I mean, evolution, planetary motion, the universe, etc, all far higher powers than me!

So, I wouldn't knock it without trying it because for some people, the group therapy aspect really helps and it'd be silly to not try something that might help. Just keep an open mind.

I agree that the first port of call should be the GP. From a practical perspective I would be examining what's missing in life that leads you to drink, get busy doing healthy stuff, take up new hobbies, interests etc..

Best of luck!

jimmyRotator

username123 wrote: »

I don't think you should avoid AA if you are not religious. AA contains an element of spirituality, not religion as is commonly misinterpreted. Spirituality may well manifest as catholic type religion in Ireland, but it's open to atheists or non Catholics. I used to attend Alanon which uses the same basic structure and as I am atheist, I followed the slogan "take what you want and leave the rest behind". I never found it to be overly religious or my lack of faith to be an issue. The only requirement is to accept the existence of a higher power. As an atheist I found that terribly easy, I mean, evolution, planetary motion, the universe, etc, all far higher powers than me!

So, I wouldn't knock it without trying it because for some people, the group therapy aspect really helps and it'd be silly to not try something that might help. Just keep an open mind.

Absolutely agree.

Im harcdore atheist and havent drank in nearly 3 years with the help of AA.

AA lets you choose your own concept of a higher power, which can be anything, dead loved one, nature, the universe, God as you do or do not understand Him.

Take what works and leave the rest at the door.

mikeyjames9

some people can battle it with some success,cut down to a couple of nites a week

the addiction is still there and looms large all the time though

others are hopeless cases

LegacyUser

Thanks guys for all your replies and sorry about the delay in replying back to this thread. I've read and reread all your replies.
I am booked into my G.P first thing Monday morning. Baby steps will hopefully lead to bigger ones.
Regarding going to A.A meetings, I have never been to one obviously but I am certainly open to anything that might help, would I have to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and tell them my woes?

username123

lovedrinkin wrote: »

Thanks guys for all your replies and sorry about the delay in replying back to this thread. I've read and reread all your replies.
I am booked into my G.P first thing Monday morning. Baby steps will hopefully lead to bigger ones.
Regarding going to A.A meetings, I have never been to one obviously but I am certainly open to anything that might help, would I have to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and tell them my woes?

Delighted to hear you're going to talk to your GP. You're gonna be great with this, I just know it!!

And on AA, you can totally just go and listen until you are comfortable enough to say anything.

tenifan

Hi op. Do you drink on your own or with friends?
Birds of a feather flock together. If your hobby is drinking, your friends will be your drinking buddies.
Ultimately, it's your decision to drink so you can't blame other people. But it might be an idea to join a running or cycling club and start your days with a run instead of a hang over.

J_E

Give the Non Drinkers Group forum a check-out. There are a lot of different stories on there and a huge blanket of moral support from other users on that forum. Just being aware of having a bad relationship with alcohol is a huge step towards managing and owning the problem, many wouldn't have that inner strength and honesty.

The hardest part is substituting the alcohol. I suggest if you have any hobbies/interests, it's a good idea to take that empty gap left by not having a drink in your hand and find something fun and constructive to do, because boredom/not knowing what to do instead is the hardest challenge you'll face when it comes down to that will I/won't I decision.

LegacyUser

OP - well done for having the courage to address this and be so proactive. It's not easy - and I can say this from personal experience. It's a battle I'm still fighting.

Regarding AA, I would thoroughly recommend trying it. You do not have to stand up and tell your story at all, but you can listen to others. I remember firstly being amazed by how candid and honest everybody was (and often with a good bit of humour thrown in over the ridiculousness of situations they had ended up in) and also, how much I could finally relate to people who had been through the same thing as me. When you spend a lifetime trying to hide a bad side of your life, it means so much to be around people who understand.

mike_ie

mike_ie wrote: »

first of all, you have taken the first step of realising that you have a problem that you want to address, so congratulations on that.

OP I second this and I would add to it. It is not only the first step but it is the most important one - and the hardest. The most insidious thing about alcohol is that it makes adherents to it refuse to believe they have a problem until it is too late. Some people _never_ admit it - even to themselves let alone others.

And to add further - that you have realized it early is good too. Because most people do not realize it until it hits their life in some truly detrimental way. Be it the extremes of a horrific car crash or violent incident - or the more common destruction of some relationship that had been important to you.

I second the recommendation too of simply chatting to a GP. Actually I would recommend chatting to 2 or 3 and getting second and third opinions. Just the chat can help and the advice of one might be more influential to you than another. You said you are in college - and most colleges offer a cheap once or twice a week doctor that comes "on site" to the college. So go to your own or family GP - the college one - and one other random one.

I would add the recommendation that you seriously look at your free time. You indicate that when your free time is filled with challenges - such as college - your drinking is under more control. But now in the summer you are drinking more.

You need to fill that time. You say you are sitting at home and fighting with the beer and the beer wins. The reason for this is clear. You are sitting at home - you decide not to have beer - and now there is a hole in your life/evening. It needs to be filled. You have nothing to fill it with. So the beer rushes in. Nature abhors a vacuum as the old saying goes and you can not simply expect to delete beer from your schedule and to sit there twiddling your thumbs and expect to "win" the fight.

You need to fill this free time with challenges - hobbies - commitments - and fill the vacuum before it fills itself. Even if what you fill that time with seems silly at the time. Hell - if you have an Android phone simply start playing "ingress" and I will put you in touch with people who will train you up - get you into the game - and before you know it youll have an active social circle with challanges and goals and will not have time for - let alone the desire for - a few pints.

I also offer an entirely free guided meditation class to students and a few others here in maynooth and I have noticed one of the most common groups of people who avail of it are people overcoming addictions. And even the ones showing up to this thinking meditation is silly have gone away telling me it really really helped them (real meditation not this "get in touch with god and the spirits type"). So seek out something similar near you. Give it a try. I can expand upon the types of meditation and how it helps and more if you ask but I will not make this post any bigger by doing so now

And above all feel free to keep the dialogue here going - be it over the coming days weeks months or even years. We are as willing to keep it open with you as you are willing to invest in it. Do not under estimate the value of simply talking to us - documenting your progress - and even your failures. We are here to respond but even the act of sorting thoughts out in your head and formulating them into text diary like posts on here can be more effective than you expect.

lovedrinkin

lovedrinkin wrote: »

Thanks guys for all your replies and sorry about the delay in replying back to this thread.

No worries. There is no time period in which people on here expect replies. Actually the vast majority of people who come here looking for advice or help only post once and we never see them again. Being updated at all - let alone a continuous dialogue over time - actually pleases people like me no end. So keep it up if you wish - regardless of the length of time between updates - or let us go whenever you wish. Its all good. WE are here for YOU. Not YOU for US. Ok?

lovedrinkin wrote: »

Regarding going to A.A meetings, I have never been to one obviously but I am certainly open to anything that might help, would I have to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and tell them my woes?

You will be asked to yes but you will not be judged or pressured if you decline. Also AA is unregulated really so each meeting group differs from the next sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. If you are uncomfortable in one do not give up on it and ditch the idea entirely. Try another and another.

And while AA is a household name - it is not the only game in town. There are more secular less religious influenced groups - so if the AA make up weirds you out AGAIN do not give up on the idea - but try some of the different groups. Do not for one minute think AA is the start and end of such groups.

Dracula!

I would also say avoid AA from personal experience.

I would highly recommend psychotherapy as often when you stop drinking the emotions you may have been masking may arise and it provides a safe environment to express them.

Good luck !

LegacyUser

Hi guys me again. So I'm just back from the doctors. I was going to walk out at 1 stage because I'm pretty sure I knew everyone in that waiting room. But I'm glad I went through it and got through it. Been at the doctors is like we all are on a conveyor belt. Get them in get them out, FAST.
I told the doctor about my drinking problem and he took blood and took my blood pressure and told me from today I am allergic to drink, today i have to stop. I have to go back same time next week. I got prescribed Valium and zimovane, just to get me though this week he said.

I want to thank everyone for their very much supportive posts. I've experienced all manner of emotions since I started this thread. From been totally positive such as this is the start of your new life to the negative and thinking how am I going to get through this. But I'll try my best.
TaxAHcruel thanks for your post particularly, its a great idea regarding 2nd and 3rd opinion on doctors.
Oh I nearly forgot one of you guys recommended the nondrinkers forum. I never even knew it existed till yesterday. I spent a good few hours going though the forum yesterday. Very inspiring stuff there.
Thanks again.

J_E

The valium will help when you're feeling chronically low but be careful not to get yourself stuck on it - it can easily replace alcohol as an abused substance if you use it as the reason to spend an evening.

LegacyUser

in the absolute hororrs now.

anyone says that giving up drinking is easy is a fraud.

ill wake up tomorrow and ill try again. i have not touched a single one of those prescription tabs to help me in my giving up the drink

why would i touch them, im a bigger fraud if i went at them. those tablets are there to help me give upp drink.
just make me alergic to the drink.

J_E

lovedrinkin wrote: »

in the absolute hororrs now.

anyone says that giving up drinking is easy is a fraud.

ill wake up tomorrow and ill try again. i have not touched a single one of those prescription tabs to help me in my giving up the drink

why would i touch them, im a bigger fraud if i went at them. those tablets are there to help me give upp drink.
just make me alergic to the drink.

You're not going to be able to just stop on a whim, it isn't that easy... You should take the doctor's advice on this one, you're not a fraud for taking them, but the mindset in taking them is important. They are there to help wean you off alcohol, not replace the buzz. You need to fill that space with something else in life, a hobby or a passion or something that you want to get up in the morning for.

Rubberchikken

Just seeing this post mow.
Op you have done great so far.
For your own sake listen to your gp's advice, he's there to hel.
Good luck, and post whenever you feel like it:)

LegacyUser

I'm ashamed I posted that stupid post. I apologise deeply for it. It was the first thing that came into my mind when I woke up this morning.It stinks of looking for sympathy.

The excuse I gave myself to why I drank last night was because I was rewarding myself for taking the 1st step and going to my G.P about it. I was in such a good mood so I figured I'll drink the last dozen cans I had left in the fridge and that will be that.

Anyway I'll soldier on and I'm as determined now more than any time to cut it out and stop this taking control of my life.

No drink today,but that's normal for me as I couldn't stomach the stuff after a night before. But its day 1 regardless. I'm going to find an A.A meeting to go to tomorrow.

Thanks again for all your generous replies.

Pawpad666

There's no shame in a relapse. You're back on the wagon today.

May I recommend reading "The Easy Way to Control Alcohol" by Allen Carr. I found it very good.
Maybe have a read of the reviews on Amazon and see what you think. Lots and lots of people stay sober after reading it.
I did too.

LegacyUser

Pawpad666 wrote: »

There's no shame in a relapse. You're back on the wagon today.

May I recommend reading "The Easy Way to Control Alcohol" by Allen Carr. I found it very good.
Maybe have a read of the reviews on Amazon and see what you think. Lots and lots of people stay sober after reading it.
I did too.

Hey thanks for the tip about the book. I have just ordered it from amazon. I was reading the books reviews and I cant wait till I get this in the post to read it.

Haven't touched a drop since Monday night. Normally I'd be well tanked by now, the craving is there though.
Its gone 11pm now and I've a busy schedule tomorrow to keep my mind off it. Usually Saturday is my couch day so its going to be weird waking up fresh tomorrow morning.Tomorrow night will be a tester though as I don't have anything yet planned.

J_E

Very proud of you for that achievement so far! Keep your eyes and ears open for any local events. You might like geocaching too if it's in your area.

Pawpad666

Fantastic. Well done.

Try to be patient with the book. I found it tempting to stop reading it at different times but am really glad I stuck with it.

shadowcomplex

Craig Becks Alcohol lied to me is supposed to be an excellent program for quitting Alcohol

Mr. Loverman

I live in China where many expats are either alcoholics or recovering alcoholics.

I know many recovering alcoholics who are in AA.

Their lives are amazing now.

Give AA a shot.

LegacyUser

Just thought I'd give an update on my progress regarding my alcohol issues.

I'm off the drink now with nearly a month and I feel great. I haven't felt this good in several years. Its made me more sociable, less anxious, I'm meeting new people, I've put in more time with the voluntary work I do. I actually could go on and on about the positives it has brought to my life.
I'm also half way through that allen carr book and its a good read.
A big thanks to all u guys for your posts and long may this continue

I would hate to put a downer on your parade -

- which is a parade we are all so happy to see and hear so do not get me wrong here at all -

- but alcohol has a habit of finding ways to tell you "Drink me now" and one of the most common I hear about from people I work with is people who have been off it for a few weeks and they get THAT feeling of "Sure you have done so well now - you DESERVE a beer!"

Well done on your work so far. All my congrats to you. But do beware the booty call ok? Booty calls are always tempting and all too often they leave you more messed up than the break up did.

Penny Tration

lovedrinkin wrote: »

Just thought I'd give an update on my progress regarding my alcohol issues.

I'm off the drink now with nearly a month and I feel great. I haven't felt this good in several years. Its made me more sociable, less anxious, I'm meeting new people, I've put in more time with the voluntary work I do. I actually could go on and on about the positives it has brought to my life.
I'm also half way through that allen carr book and its a good read.
A big thanks to all u guys for your posts and long may this continue

That's absolutely brilliant news, well done! keep up the great work


And if you come back to update us again, change the name to 'don'tlovedrinking'